White Trash & More!

OK, before I get to my favorite headline of the day I need to take care of a couple items.

I had a short list of 3 things to do last week... well, I only accomplished ONE of them. I SUCK! Go ahead and say it... I didn't see any alligators, did not jump in the ocean... BUT I did go to the Salvador Dali museum in St. Pete.

Pretty cool place, but it's not in the best area for like an all day love affair with art. There's basically some kinda little waterfront cafe next door that did not look real appealing, there's a marina (members only), and there is the campus for USF St. Pete across the marina. So, basically, it kinda reminds me of Brookfield Zoo in Chicago where it's just the Zoo and nothing else.

Regardless, I spent a good two hours wandering through the exhibit. Pretty cool stuff really, they swap exhibits with the Dali Museum in Spain and also other institutes around the globe so they always have a mixture of work. Right now, they have his very first work done when he was 6 years old, a landscape done on a postcard sized sheet; they finish up with his final work done in 1983 that looks very little like the work he is best known for but still has the signature Dali head scratching involved.

The thing that amazes me about Dali (or any great artist such as Beethoven giving his first public concert at the age of 7) is how early in life they were showing the greatness that would carry them throughout their careers. I mean, seriously, who can tell me what they were doing at the age of six? Here's 5 things I was doing at the age of 6:

1. 1st Grade - don't remember it

2. Mom still dressing me

3. Learned how to tie my own shoes (Flippin' sweet!)

4. Learned how to spell my name (has definitely come in handy over the years)

5. Still eating boogers

That's about all I can think of and I really had to think hard about it. Friggin' Dali did a landscape that you can tell is a landscape! I'm 37 years old and still can't draw a stick figure whose legs come out the same length or whose head looks like a head. WTF!?!?!?

So, I am turning over a new leaf... unless someone tells me otherwise, from this day forward I am resigned to be mediocre! Not that mediocre is a huge problem these days... I mean the 53rd guy on an NFL roster still makes a quarter million per year, right? I could be a mediocre writer and still feed myself, for proof of that just look at all those "romantic" novels that sell millions of copies!

Alright... moving on with my new mediocre mindset! Ahhhh... almost relieved to be able to give up the mantle of greatness for a change.

One last item before my favorite headline of the day... How 'bout them Chicago Bears!? After 58 minutes of futility, they broke out with a 97 Yard touchdown drive with less than 2 minutes left on the clock and NO timeouts! Shit, I couldn't have pulled that off on my Xbox, so needless to say when I ran a lap around Bar Louie high-5'ing anyone that would make eye contact I was almost surprised when I wasn't escorted out. :-) Fortunately for me, I am much loved at Bar Louie so I think they can allow for some crazy behavior from time to time.

I think the main issue I face this season is going to be the constant cardiac arrests I am experiencing. Not a game goes by that I don't need the paddles pulled out and some shock treatment for the ol' ticker. We are a long way removed from September 2006 when the Bears were knocking teams around and outscoring people by three scores or more. I guess I should go get me some cardio to hopefully survive through the season.

Wish me luck...

And now... my FAVORITE headline of the day...

Waffle House brawl lands Kid Rock in jail

Now, I've long said that Kid Rock (or insert Axl Rose/Eminem) is a pussy and wouldn't last 2 minutes with me in a dark alley. I LOVE the fact that Mr. Rock had his "entourage" to back him up. We can only guess what would happen if he stood toe to toe with someone. Of course, weighing in at a scant 87 pounds, it's hard to imagine he could swing that blade of grass hard enough to make someone feel it.

But the best part is WHERE this brawl took place. I mean, what is more white trash than a Waffle House at 5am? Seriously??? I'm frikin unemployed and I don't go there! This guy is worth millions and he can't do better than a Waffle House? You know what they say...

You can take the Cracker out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park out of the Cracker.

Peace out

Heitz