HOLY SHIT!
All I can say... not that I have the reader base of a REAL blogger or columnist, but 100 posts is like a milestone I guess... Right? I mean, I'm sure Seinfeld had a big ol' bash for his 100th episode... how about David Letterman? Hell, he probably can't even remember his 100th episode!!!
So, I thought I'd find some fun stuff to talk about today... instead of my usual boring drivel and nonsense. ;-)
OK, first I want to call for the removal of a couple folks... Tony Kornheiser and the Geico Cavemen.
The original Geico Caveman commercials were cute, nbothing more. I guarantee you NO ONE bought Geico insurance based on some dumb ass caveman commercials. How that ad campaign is still going is ludicrous. Did Geico get painted into a corner on a 10 year contract or something> I mean these things are getting worse and worse... what the hell does Billy Jean King and a Caveman who can't read have to do with me buying insurance??? And seriously, who believes that cute blonde will be on the beach with a hairy ass caveman who cries like a sissy with a skinned knee when the ad trails behind an airplane overhead.
Didn't we get rid of the failed Caveman sitcom in the first season? That was about the worst idea ever... "Let's take those cavemen that everyone hates and make a whole show about them!!!" YEAH!!! FUCK OFF CAVEMEN!!! There is a reason those guys are extinct, OK... they're hairy and they suck, and they are truly NOT funny.
Speaking of hairy... how about someone losing their hair... Honestly, I could give two shyts what my hair looks like. I shave my head down pretty close every week or two and could care less that I have a lumpy head and look like I'm going to boot camp. But Tony Kornheiser is taking it to a whole new level. I really never dreamed that some day I would sit down and seriously spend time writing about a combover, but ferchrissakes this guy needs some help.
OK, forget the fact that he is absolutely useless on Monday Night Football. I think the only person I disagree with more is well... hell, probably no one! The fact that the Geico Caveman commercials are helping pay his salary is just an absolute travesty... I mean, I'm all for Geico crashing and burning for sticking with that ridiculous campaign, but even I can get better bang for my buck than having Tony Kornkeiser on prime time television!
I can only equate my dislike for Kornheiser and his "hair" and lack of anything to add to the equation to the old Super Bowl Halftime specials... remember when EVERYONE on the planet flipped over to Fox to catch the Simpsons halftime special??? Ahhh, those were the good ol' days... now we get Janet Jackson's plastic tit if we're lucky. Only problem is, there's nothing to flip over to at halftime EVERY Monday night! I mean, there is (Prison Break, Heroes, etc... ) but those are hour long shows and Tivo is already taking care of that.
Bottom line is Kornheiser should just shave his head. At least then he'll just be a moron instead of a moron with a ridiculous combover.
Maybe, just maybe, he can help the Cavemen along... teach them how to do a whole body combover... I know, that would be ridiculous... why not just shave them too??? I'm all about baby steps... as long as we are making progress I am happy.
I only have a couple other topics today I wanted to share.
First off... pediatricians... GO TO HELL!!!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27035470/
We got all these doctors on the planet and some of them think it's vital to tell us not to have cool pets because they can get yer kids sick. Turns out that children under the age of 5 are still developing their immune system so are very susceptible to all kinds of diseases.
No shit??? Are they serious? I thought my nieces and nephews had diarrhea and ear infections and shit because they enjoyed crapping their pants! Did I really need a doctor to tell me that pet iguanas and hamsters have different germs than a puppy. Wow! All that education and that's all they got? Shit, I was a "C" student at Southern Illinois University and I got that figured out.
Seriously... geniuses... luv 'em...
And last but not least...
I am sort of a Soccer fan... love the FIFA leagues over seas like the British Premier league and the Bundesliga... good stuff... Well, I just decided that my new favorite team is Newcastle United. Joe Kinear is seriously my favorite coach of ANY team or sport since Mike Ditka coached the Bears back in the day.
Hell, I never even heard of Joe Kinnear until this rant but he is now my new favorite person on the planet. I mean, I don't drop that many F-Bombs EVER! Anyone that has been drunk with me knows, once I get lit I turn into a grade-A, South Side of Chicago jack-ass. This guy makes me look like a choir boy with a mouth clean enough to kiss a priest! (Above the belt... keep it clean people!!!)
I am now a fan of Newcastle United, and I will be until this guy either quits, gets fired, gets killed by a family member of one of these reporters... doesn't matter... I may go get me a Kinnear jersey or something...
I am sitting here listening to this press conference while I type and it literally is 10 minutes of him dishing it out to numerous reporters and not taking a bit of shit from ANY of them. The guy certainly has great big balls of steel in my book.
So, anyhoo...
100 posts in the books. I feel like I need to get my head out of my ass sometimes, but then I read some of the things I have written say last year, and I think... damn, that's some stupid shit!
All I can say and promise is at least 100 more posts of stupid shit. I promise rarely to make sense, always to keep the filter off, and occasionally hit the spell-check button.
Peace out...
Heitz
