I'm a tired assed bitch...

What can I say? I am a flippin' workaholic...

Good news is, I am already the #1 sales producer for 2008 in the Eastern Region... bad... ass...

Seriously though, one thing that bugs the shit out of me in Tampa... and this is just one of many... is the traffic.

No lie...

Many of you may say, "WTF? Traffic? yer from Chicago!!!"

The deal is this... no public transportation... no alternate routes in many areas... slow ass dumbshits driving.

My favorite Florida driving move? The triple lane change from the right hand turn lane to the left hand turn lane while on the car and following the incorrect directions from your Tom Tom.

I fukkin love that one.

So the road that goes to my apartment complex... it's a 45 MPH limit along there. Not too shabby... except EVERY frikkin day I get behind some numb-nuts SOB that decides I should drive 10 MPH below the speed limit... so yesterday I said, "Fuck this..." I took what I thought might turn out to be a short cut to avoid the dumb beeotch in front of me... turns out, I got stuck in a 15 MPH school zone, couldn't turn left due to a steady stream of idiots dropping their kids off, finally went around a few blocks to get back towards the main road only to find out there was construction starting and it was all backed up like an infant who ate too much cheese.

Needless to say, my search for better living arrangements has gone into full swing. I am being sexually discriminated against in my current apartment, paying over $200 more than some women here (I don't blame them for not having a penis...) so it's time to find a better situation where I can like walk to work or something.

the only good news I have to report is the job is going very well and I am learning guitar. Or as they say in some areas of the south... "geee-tar". Pretty soon I will be a regular Caucasian Jimi Hendrix... except playing a Les Paul. I guess that would make me Jimmy Page... well, except he is like frikkin God so I really cannot hope to get to that level, right?

So, yeah, those are hte two positives I have right now. Who needs women when I have a good job and a guitar, right? I guess before I know it I'll be riding the Horse to Rock-Star-Ville...

Booyah...

Peace out...
heitz

New Years Thoughts

Watched a movie last night I hadn't seen in a while... remember the original "Species" movie where Natasha Henstridge wandered around naked and had sex with every guy she could find only to be killed by Michael Madsen at the end? Well, "Species II" was just as good!

yeah right... she spent only a little time naked, there were other naked chicks running round having their bellies explode with baby aliens shooting out of them...

The craziest thing about the movie was this... It was SOOOO racist!!!

There were 3 astronauts in outer space that brought this alien thing back. A white guy, white chick, and a black dude. Now, astronauts are pretty smart I guess (the white trash arrested for planning to kill her love triangle rival notwithstanding...) but the black dude in this flick was just a typical homey. Couldn't grasp the simplest concepts about how an alien came back to earth with them and was killing peeps...

The final justice... it was the black man's blood that killed the alien!!! No shit! Turns out he carried the sickle cell trait and that is what killed the alien. At the end, Michael Madsen slams a pitchfork into the black dudes leg to cover it with his blood then sticks the pitchfork into the alien which kills it.

I'm not sure where they come up with this crap but I'm pretty sure that me, a case of beer, and a free week would result in a better film.

Maybe just about as much nudity too.

OK... some random thoughts...

Thank GOD (or Jahweh, Jehovah, Allah, Buddah, or who-the-hell-ever) finally got that little girl on the Texas Instruments DLP commercials some speech lessons. I was going tho kill myself if I had to hear her tell some idiot that their picture is clear because "It's the MEERS" one more frikkin time... THANK YOU for learning how to pronounce MIRROR... bitch...

I'm convinced that being a Chicago Bears fan is bad for my health. Not only did the head coach, Lovie "Smooth as Silk" Smith announce that he really wants all 3 QB's back in the mix next year, but he has no intention of firing either coordinator that was in charge of ineptitude on both sides of the ball. I can feel my blood pressure rising and I have no football to even worry about until April when the draft happens. This sucks...

And finally, I'm taking my first guitar lessons soon... found an ad for a guy and it says "Learn To Shred"... shit yeah... who cares about playing classical shit... I wanna break strings and eardrums... fukkin A!!!

Now I just need to grow my hair...

peace out...

Heitz