Beating Your Kids & A-Rod w/ Palin's Daughter

I'm not sure how everyone else was raised, but I got my fair share of but whuppings when I was young. My siblings and I were all good kids (for the most part) and yet we ALL still got our whuppings when we needed them. I was hit with everything from a shoe, to a long wooden mixing spoon (mom broke that one over my head), to a razor strap, to a sorority paddle (there was one in the attic of our house when we moved in - I was never able to actually get a Sorority girl to paddle me :( )...

So I came across this big story about a former Reform School Supervisor who is the center of a civil suit alleging he beat kids 50 years ago.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/06/16/florida.boys.school.lawsuit/index.html

Of course 50 years ago parents were allowed and able to be strict with their kids. Some of the whippings I received when I was young would probably land my poor mom in jail these days. And that was just in the 70's and 80's!

So, I read through the article and I really can't understand these folks wasting the State's and Court's time with stuff like this. The guy in question is 85 years old. The main plaintiff is like 60 years old, a Vietnam War vet, etc...

Even after going through the Vietnam era, and dealing with the recent collapse of Wall Street (he is an Investment & Insurance Broker) he is claiming that he still worries about the "beatings" he received at the hands of the Reform School Supervisor.

Gimme a break... seriously... I'd love to see his financials these days. Is he broke? Hoping to get a few million from the state? It's not a criminal investigation so it's ONLY about money.

And the bottom line is, we are talking about kids in a Reform School... a fancy name for a Juvenile Detention Facility. When I was a kid, I remember a couple neighborhood kids that landed in "Juvey" as we called it. They got spanked when bad just like the rest of us "good" kids... I guess they needed it more since their parents weren't dealing out any punishment when they were breaking the rules.

So kids in a Reform School got the occasional whipping? Again, I can't feel any sense of sympathy. Give it a rest, get over it... whatever you need to do... shit, grab a bottle of whiskey if you have to.

Then I noticed the story about Davide Letterman's joke about Sarah Palin's daughter getting knocked up by A-Rod. Seriously, I laughed my butt off until I realized all the idiots in the world think Letterman was talking about the 14 year old daughter!!!

Seriously folks... get a grip... let me see... Palin's 18 yr old gets knocked up during the Presidential campaign and it's HUGE news with their "Family First - Pro-Marriage" right wing BS and people seriously think the joke was targeted at the 14 year old jail bait daughter?

Just another attempt at the Right Wingers to try and stay relevant by creating some sort of media sensation.

Some day the world will have a sense of humor and not worry about headlines. We just ain't there yet...

Peace out

Heitz

Wedded Bliss

So, I was Best Man in a wedding last week (Congrats Chad & Emily!) and a couple things stood out in my mind over the course of the week.

First off, I have been honored to be Best Man for two great friends. I am not sure how this happens, but BOTH are Green Bay Packer fans! Seriously... I am a born and raised Bears fan and absolutely HATE (is that a strong enough word???) the Packers!

So I am officially announcing that I will stand in for ANY Groomsman in a Bears wedding. Please... I am begging you all... if you are getting hitched, and are a Bears fan, Please hook a

brother up... I can only eat so much cheese.

I guess the interesting thing about that is... well, absolutely nothing. Or I guess it shows that

friendship transcends football rivalries? (shit, am I soap boxing here?) Regardless, a great time was had by all and it leads to the second thing I noticed about weddings that I attend.

I am pretty much the life of the party.

There...

I said it...

OK, now let me just qualify that statement a bit.

I am the life of the part if you are a 4-Year old.

I have a habit of making faces whenever a 3-5 year old does so immediately I bond with most

small kids. They also usually think butts and pooping are funny, so we usually hit it off

immediately if not sooner (just check my Facebook Albums for Booties Around the World). This is probably the fifth or sixth wedding I have been involved in or attended where I danced more with a little kid than with my date... (Seriously, I AM SORRY ANGELA!!! BUT LOOKIT HOW CUTE HER LIL' NOSE IS!!!) - Yeah, I won't be living this one down any time soon... :(

I think the same personality trait that makes me appealing to a little kid feeling out of place wearing a tux or pretty dress is the same reason my nephews think I am awesome and why Angela's son Remi feels perfectly comfy-cozy chatting about farts with me.

Now, the only difference this time around is that I came out of the wedding week partying with some "Rapist Scratches". :(

You know what they are... you see a picture on the news after they arrest a rapist and they have scratches on their face where the victim attempt to fight them off - OK, maybe you only see them on 'Law & Order' wen they are questioning a suspect and he says he had an accident with an egg beater.

Turns out, this 4-Year old in particular thought I had funny cheeks and started grabbing them... and digging her nails in... OUCH!

I'm a tough guy so I just kind grinned and let her have her fun, not realizing she was drawing blood. I went to the bathroom later that night and looked in the mirror and about dropped my toothbrush in the toilet (thankfully it clanked off the toilet seat which I ALWAYS put down... whew).

So, apparently I now need to make sure the 4 year olds clip their nails before allowing them to grab my cheeks and see how far they stretch before my nose bleeds.

All in all, it was a fantastic trip. As always, the Chicago weather was equal parts sunny, rainy, windy, and cold. And as always, I bumped into a friend on Michigan Avenue.. yeah, cuz that never happens to me...

I couldn't ask for anything else...

Peace out...

Heitz