Alright, I got issues...
Now, I probably watch more kung-fu movies than is healthy for a 38 year old male, but going back to my childhood when my brothers and I would watch "samurai Sunday" and any other crazy shit that was on TV on the weekends (I consider the Little Rascals and the Three Stooges to be the American version of the kung-fu and samurai movies... without the drama... and without the sub-titles...). I think that's why I dig Asian women... I'd see these kung-fu chicks and think to myself, "How can I compete with that?!?! She's got guys with swords and shit and SHE could probably kick my ass too!!!"
So, I see this headline on CNN.com about the "genocide" going on in Tibet and the Dalai Lama talking about the heritage of his people and how it's about to all be wiped out. Here's an idea for you Dalai... (or is it Lama? no clue...) take your Monk army and invade China!!!
Seriously, all those monks flying from tree to tree with their swords and oaken staves; throwing stars and kung-fu magic!!! COME ON!!! Am I the only one waiting for this to happen??? I mean, if they can deflect bullets with a sword back in the 1500's, why not cast a wall of deflection at the cruise missiles the Chinese would surely send at them. It's a frikkin NO-BRAINER!!!
Anyways, the pictures I saw had all these monks on a street and NONE of them was fighting!!! WTF??? Sorry, but if the Secret Police showed up at my crib and tried to make me disappear, I am not going without a fight! I just figured these guys would do the same. Especially with all that high powered kung-fu mastery they have up in the Tibetan mountains.
Maybe the Dalai Lama will come back, lead his army into Beijing, and then they can have the Olympics there. How crazy would that be trying to compete against a bunch of kung-fu masters in things like the discus and javelin? Just when you thought you had a good toss, one of them leaps from a nearby tree, catching the javelin in his mouth and sends it right back at you...
seriously, that would be unfair...
Other than that, things are good. I am drinking loads of coffee these days. I probably work more than is healthy, but good times are coming.
Ever had this thought???
Who ever devised public restrooms???
Seriously... except for a half-inch thick partition, I am basically sitting cheek to cheek (get it?) with a potential stranger dropping the kids off at the pool. Don't even get started on the rules of eye contact, conversation ('This is where all the big dicks hang out!!!'), hand holding, hand washing, etc... When man first started relieving himself behind closed doors, who was it that said...
"We ain't civilized unless there's a second shitter right next to ya!!!"
I'd be curious to find out who might have ever had a conversation with the guy in the next stall. What would you talk about? "How are the kids?"... "What's the weekend plan?"
Now don't get me wrong, I understand the logistics of a few thousand people in a building having to all take care of bidness. But, seriously... I also want to talk to the first person that decided to cook an animal. How was that decision made? How'd they pick out a pig instead of say a sabre tooth tiger as their first meal?
I'm guessing there was a lot of trial and error when figuring out which animals fight back. Either way, I really want to thank them...
bacon tastes good...
pork chops taste good...
not so sure about the sewer rat, but it looks like easy prey...
Peace out...
Heitz
