The Mind of a Suicide Bomber

Seriously, I am curious... What exactly goes through the mind of a suicide bomber as they are carrying out their "holy" task? Last night, a suicide bomber killed 136 people and injured almost 400 others when they blew themselves up near the motorcade of former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto. I may have to adjust my plan for a wall around the Middle East to include much more of that area.

So I just cannot fathom really wanting to do something like this though. I guess that's the problem between Islamic Extremists and the rest of the world... well, of course assuming the killer was an Islamic Extremist. I'm sure a video tape will be delivered to Al-Jazeera shortly with this bomber talking about himself being a martyr and wiping the face of the she-devil Bhutto off the planet.

Well, mission accomplished... NOT! The bomber could not get close enough to the motorcade so they just blew themselves up in the middle of a crowd of random people. Imagine if you would an American Bomber crew on their way to drop 20 tons of bombs on Adolf Hitler's bunker...

"Shit, John... we're running out of gas AND there's too much anti aircraft fire!"
"What should we do Captain???"
"Hmmmm... looks like a school and a church down there... let's just hit that instead. Fuck it!"
"Roger that!!!"

Now we all have heard stories of American GI's in Vietnam killing villages filled with women and children, but after getting shot at by countless women and children I'm sure they were a little trigger happy. I really don't know what else to compare this suicide bombing epidemic to. I mean, if you cannot reach your target, is it REALLY acceptable to blow up anyone that just happens to be around you? Does that make you a Martyr? Are 72 Virgins taking care of this young man (or woman... we don't know for sure yet) as we speak?

If life were so Black & White that blowing up things was a viable option to solve the worlds problems, we'd probably only have a world population of about 1 Billion instead of 6 Billion as there's be way too many people getting blown up to spend time having kids.

Ah well... whatever...

So then I notice another story this morning about a former Nobel Prize winner being a racist. Go figure... he won part of the Nobel Prize in 1962 for helping discover DNA. And he said US Policy assumes that the African continent contains people with equal intelligence to our own even though testing and evidence shows they are not.

WHOA! Hold on there!!! This is one of the guys that helped discover the double helix and he's saying blacks are not as smart as whites!

Uhhh... No???

'To all those who have drawn the inference from my words that Africa, as a continent, is somehow genetically inferior, I can only apologize unreservedly. That is not what I meant. More importantly from my point of view, there is no scientific basis for such a belief'

Hmmmm.... OK, now yer just backtracking, sir! Why is it, whenever someone lodges their foot in their mouth so far that they can tell you what a kneecap tastes like, they ALWAYS claim their words were either misinterpreted or taken out of context.

Here ya go...

I LOVE BOOBS!!!

Oh shit... No, I didn't mean that, I meant I appreciate boobs and hold no affection for them although I know they are a very important part to world civilization. I mean, without boobs, what would we watch on the boob tube???

Whew... that was close! I was almost misinterpreted into saying that I love beautiful, succulent breasts... good thing I was able to talk my way out of that one!

Solution? Hmmmm... Maybe we can get one of those suicide bomber groups to just target stupid people. I mean, I'm sure they would not have any problems killing their own family and friends, but we should probably check with them just to be sure.

Now, I didn't mean that suicide bombers are stupid!!! Ahhh hell... I give up...

Finally this morning... I felt like I was watching my Chicago Bears last night as the USF Bulls took on the Rutgers Scarlet Knights in Piscataway, NJ. USF, as you may know from my previous blogs was ranked #2 in the country. Well, that ride is over sister. A young man by the name of Ray Rice ran up and down the field on them and even though they were able to come up with big plays on special teams (just like the Bears do every Sunday) they came up just short at the end when their offense seemingly just could not figure ANYTHING out.

I guess it's good to know that teams at every level have the kinds of mental implosions that my Bears go through every Sunday. It was a frustrating game to watch, rooting for USF. #22, whoever he is, probably had to hitch-hike home to Florida. He had two HUGE penalties that were just about asinine.

Still, it was a fun ride to this point of the season. They will still be in contention for the Big East title and as long as they get back to winning can count on a decent bowl game this year.

Like I needed another excuse to drink.

Shit...

Peace out...
Heitz