Mid-Week Ramblings

Well, it's been a helluva week already and we are only at Humping Day.

We've been moving for a week now... slow but steady wins the race, right? What an exhasting process moving from a second floor apartment to a third floor apartment! I am NOT trying to lose weight but you just can't help it with all the stair work I have done in the past week. But the worst part isn't the stairs, it's been the weather. Good ol' Mother Nature decided a little over a week ago that the drought in Florida is officially over and has been hitting us with big downpours pretty much every day.

Of course, exhaustion, soaking wet from the rain, and in and out from 88 degrees to arctic A/C means I caught something. I have had this stomach bug for a few days now and I think that has had as much to do with the weight loss as the exercise.

Then I saw a show last night that said something like "to produce 2.2 pouds of lamb creates 40 pounds of methane gas"!!!

They were talking about the effects of livestock and certain crop production to increasing greenhouse gases. It made me wonder how much methane I had produced over the past few days of having this stomach ailment. I mean, I have been a Farting Machine since pretty much last Thursday.

Now, Remi is a gassy lil' dude, but even he was running for his room the past few days. So I can only guess at the tonnage of methane gas I created. I wonder if I will be on some environmental watchdog's "Hot" list or something???

All I know for sure is I felt like ass... pun definitely intended.

In other news, we have a couple exciting trips in the works. We are heading to Chicago next week for Chad's wedding. I was looking at renting a car for the week only because we will be spending so much time in the suburbs. I haven't rented a car in a couple years and all I can say is - STICKER SHOCK!!!

Seriously, I am thinking of just buying a bicycle for the week I am up there. $300 for 5 days in Chicago??? Seriously??? I know better than to assume my insurance will cover a rental car if some dumbass hits me, so I always take the insurance... of course I have rented cars only a handful of times in my life so I'm no expert.

Bottom line is, they basically want almost my monthly car payment to drive some compact P.O.S. for less than a week. I'm not sure how to get into that racket, but godDAM!!!

The other trip in the works is a 3-Week trip to Nigeria in July & August. Angela's sister is getting hitched and we are flying over for the wedding. I am pretty excited for my first trip to Africa. I've already been told by one Right-Wing friend that I won't last 10 minutes, but I'm pretty sure I will surprise him. It's not like I am going to Somalia or something. ;-)

My biggest concern is my camera... I have a shitty little digital camera that sucks major butt when it comes to zoom, picture quality, etc... but being unemployed, it's not like I can just go buy a new camera, right? This is about the time I wish I was still in contact with my old "shady" friends from the South Side... I'd have a new Canon Rebel at a fraction of the cost in NO time...

damn...

peace out

Heitz

Tuesday Morning Stuff

Just some random things...

I un-friended someone on Facebook the other day for the first time. Or is it be-friended? De-friended? Hell, anyway you cut it, I took them off the list of people lucky enough to read my super interesting Status Updates.

It was really just a contact of a friend of mine that was trying to help me land a job, but the "contact" never replied, never got his hiring guy on the phone with me, and proceeded to fill my Inbox with Right-Wing (he claimed he was middle of the road but kept referring to Obama as 'The Socialist') propaganda.

Just an idea for all the right wingers out there...

Look up the definition of 'Socialism' and 'Fascism' before trying to apply inflammatory labels like those to someone. I may not be the brightest bulb on the tree but I do know the difference between a Democrat and a Fascist.

Oh yeah, and don't forget that the most infamous Fascists murdered their way into positions of power instead of being elected by the largest voter turnout in years and a pretty wide margin.

Years ago (OK, probably less than a decade ago, but it SEEMS like a long time) a friend of mine asked me a question.

I wasn't sure how to answer the question as I kinda had a crush on her... cute lil' thing... so I just probably said something silly and left it at that... but it has haunted me...

Anyhoo, so she had a guy roommate and asked me why is it that guys sometimes pee on the toilet bowl, floor, wall, or anything else that happens to be within a three foot range of the toilet. How the hell is it that we can't hit the target.

I am sure that most women have wondered this... Hell, I recall my mom asking the same question on many occasions.

So for all you ladies out there that really want to know... here is the truth... I may lose my membership in the "Dude Club" for this but I really don't give a damn...

The male 'pee-pee organ' is not an exact creature. Any woman that has woken up to her husband's (or boyfriend's, lover's, one-night-stand's) early morning wood knows this. And it can sometimes be tricky to pee in a straight line. Stories of guys writing their name in the snow probably only work for guys with short names like 'Al' or 'Ed'.

So, the myriad of causes can be anything from a stray hair in the way of the pee-pee to the remnants of a happy dream to maybe trying to pee before that early morning wood has subsided. Any guy that says they haven't had the same issue as Steve Carrell in '40 Year Old Virgin' is flat out lying to you.

Of course, any of those problems will cause a stray stream of pee-pee to hit the toilet seat, the wall, the roll of toilet paper, the magazine rack, or possibly the trash can... the much larger issue at hand is...

Why don't we clean up after ourselves when it happens???

I know this is the problem my mom would like solved... and the reason my friend oh so many years ago was so exasperated by it. If the dude roommate had just gotten a paper towel and some Windex, problem solved, right?

I am as guilty as every other man out there and some days I just get lazy-ed into NOT cleaning up after myself... for this, I apologize whole heartedly... I may not change, but I definitely apologize.

Peace Out
Heitz