My girl, Angela, and I spent the weekend in Savannah, GA. I had never been there, never even really thought about going there on vacation until a few weeks ago, and can honestly say I am looking forward to going back!
I guess one of the main things I enjoyed was the historical significance of pretty much everything there. I love reading about history, and one of my main issues living in the Tampa area is there very little sense of history here. Well, that and you have to drive EVERYWHERE!!! Ugh… Seriously, I walked more in 3 days in Savannah that I have in the past 5 years here in Tampa. I could lose what little fat I have in probably 2 weeks living there!!!
We got there Friday evening and you get an immediate sense of nostalgia and history when you arrive in Savannah. Tree lined streets, not a Border’s or Best Buy to be seen (although there is a Starbuck’s!). A number of small stores line Broughton Street and you can find pretty much anything you are looking for. We got to our hotel, the River Street Inn and were upgraded to a room overlooking the Savannah River. Absolutely gorgeous view! Stan was definitely the Man! (Stan’s name has been changed to protect the innocent)
One thing that the restaurants on River Street are known for is a concoction known as the “Chatham Artillery Punch”. It’s a brew of immense flavor and toxicity. Here’s a link to a recipe – not for the faint of heart:
http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/005896.html
One amazing fact about Savannah – it’s one of two cities in the United States that you can stroll down any street with an open alcoholic beverage! (The other city is New Orleans) Needless to say, Angela and I each had drinks in our hands for the majority of the weekend. We were NOT messing around. ;)
We had dinner at the Shrimp Factory on River Street – a fantastic meal with a great seat watching the people walk by. That was where we had our first beverages of the weekend. ;) We took a small sample of the Punch and quickly decided to take a couple to go. Wandering the streets with a drink is a lot of fun. It makes everyone around you that much more interesting!
We ended up sitting and watching a great two-man blues team along the river walk. Walter on guitar and “Blue” dancing and vocalizing was a real treat. I’ve always said “a sign of a good guitarist is how many strings they break in a show”. I counted 5 breaks in the time we sat watching these guys jam and delight a throng of passersby. Apparently they are out there EVERY day of the week form what we could tell.
We got up pretty late on Saturday, but we didn’t miss much. It seems Saturday morning is made for sleeping off a hangover in Savannah as we hardly saw anyone as we walked around and hit the nearby Starbuck’s. From there we trekked all over downtown Savannah visiting such local attractions as the Telfair Museum of Art, the Jepson Art center, strolled through numerous squares including Wright Square, found our way though the City Market and saw one of the oldest African American churches in the south.
We had lunch at the Moon River Brewery – which was outstanding. Great food and very good beer and the best part was the music. If you love good ol’ down south Delta Blues, it don’t get much better. I thoroughly enjoyed hanging out there. We also stopped for drinks at a few other places including Molly MacPherson’s, a Scottish pub where the bartenders wear Kilts! I think Angela was checking them out, but we got out of there after one round in which my mom became a bitch. :( Long story short, my roommate’s fiancée is a FAST drinker… and when she finishes a drink before anyone, she slams her cup/bottle/glass down and says “Yer mom’s a bitch!”… yeah, it’s catchy…
Saturday night dinner was at the Boar’s Head Grille, a recommendation of a couple locals. And we were not disappointed… had a couple nice filets, and a pile of fixin’s… we left with very full bellies, and another drink for the road. Back down to Walter & “Blue” for a lively evening wind-down as they entertained a large crowd with renditions of Christmas songs, old Delta Blues tunes, and a few Elvis tunes thrown in for good measure.
By Sunday morning, we were ready for more and walked to Starbuck’s and then straight down Bull Street to Forsyth Park. We stopped along the way to see a few monuments – Savannah has a LOT of history on display! Forsyth Park was beautiful... reminded me a little of Grant Park in Chicago with regards to the amount of people just chilling out or tossing the football around… one difference is it is VERY accessible. It’s surrounded by residential neighborhoods so plenty of folks hit the park just because it’s right there!
It was a great weekend and I cannot recommend the River Street Inn enough to anyone that might be planning a trip to Savannah any time soon. It was a wonderful stay and right in the mix of everything happening along the Savannah River. I’ve got pics posted at my Facebook profile which can be seen here:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=49070&id=592483971
We are already considering a return trip for a long 4th of July weekend... there is a LOT to see and I feel we only scratched the surface!
Peace out!
Heitz
Monday, December 22, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
Stupid Book & Jury Duty
So, I am reading this book that my roommate's fiancee left behind after her last weekend here. The author has a degree from University of Chicago, a law degree from Duke University, and is being hailed as an “Internet God” in one review... Tucker Max is apparently the guy every guy wants to be!
I dunno... I am three or four chapters into “I Hope They Server Beer in Hell” and am just not feeling it. As far as I can tell, I probably kicked this guy's ass at some point if what he is writing actually happened. He's the kind of pretentious, self-indulged asshole that probably gets his kicks just talking louder than other people. All his “friends” have stupid nicknames, and basically all they do is drink heavily (no arguments there...) and treat women like dirt.
And seriously... what the hell kind of name is Tucker Max? He's named after my buddy's dog apparently.
Looking at the cover I thought to myself... “he looks like a jackass but maybe it'll be a good laugh while I am on the shitter.” No lie, I have been constipated as hell since starting to read this bullshit that passes for a NY Times Best Seller. Cannot get a good BM going so I gotta finish this worthless waste of paper quick... I promised Emily I wouldn't use it to wipe, so no worries there...
The good news is, this gives me hope! I can out-write and probably out-think this guy in my sleep! He will probably drink me under the table but shit so can Emily! Why the hell am I not published yet??? What this guy is published because he's a brilliant author? Hardly!
So, I am going to keep reading in the hopes it improves. So far, not impressed.
*
I had to show up for jury duty a few weeks ago and was fortunate enough not to get picked for a jury. I am a big fan of the trial by jury thing, I just don't want to have to take part. I'm a HORRIBLE juror anyways...
Basically, the way our judicial system works is you have to leave your personality at the door, forget about ANYTHING that might have happened, and focus on what you are TOLD are the “facts”.
Anyone that has gone into a court room as part of the selection process has probably heard the analogy they use to try and determine if you can render a verdict in particular cases... I've been to jury duty twice and heard this same spiel twice so I think it is in the “Lawyer 101” course... I should ask Tucker Max... he probably knows...
“If there was a law you didn't agree with, but mind you IT'S THE LAW, would you be able to render a verdict for a case that has something to do with that law?”
The story they use goes like this... Let's say the lawmakers in Washington decide to ban Blue Pens. Yeah, blue pens... damn them all to Hell.
OK, so anyways, assume Blue Pens are now illegal. Whether you think this law is just or not, would you be able to sit on a jury and pass judgment on someone accused of using a Blue Pen. Of course, I can't just sit there and take it so I say to the prosecutor:
“Well, it depends...”
“On what?”, he says.
“Well, first off... how many blue pens do I have at home? Second, can I walk into Wal-Mart or CVS and buy Blue pens legally???”, I reply.
“Well, none of that should matter if they are banned,” he says.
“Sure, if you are living under a rock.” I comment... then continue, “A better example would be Prohibition. If Congress decided today to bring back Prohibition, I can say with 100% certainty that I would get done with jury duty today, go home, open my refrigerator door, pull out an ice cold Beck's, crack it open start drinking.”
Needless to say, after scribbling some notes, I was removed from contention as a juror that day. Seriously though, I HAVE to be this cynical... here's what happened the one time I was selected to jury duty...
JURY FOREMAN!!!
Yeah... damn fraudulent case if ever I saw one. The problem is, the lawyers and judge get together ahead of time and agree on certain things that will be kept out of the courtroom... like, hmmmm, I dunno... a toxicology report for someone that fell off a roof.
No lie, this guy never worked a day in his life, fell off his cousins roof “fixing a hole”, and was trying to get $250K out of the insurance company. Th issue I had was we receive a 50 page hospital report regarding his injuries and treatments INCLUDING a 5 page tox screen that had all the info blacked out.
Now, I am not a cop, nor do I work in a hospital, but I think common sense says if a tox screen comes back with 5 pages the boy was drinking or doing SOMETHING!!!
Yeah, he got nothing... the looks on both their faces (as well as the two lawyers) was priceless... they were clearly splitting the winnings and had it spent already. We gave them, to the penny, what his medical expenses were to date.
The way I see it, you have to have a sense of self preservation. If I am drinking, and it's a rainy Saturday in college football season, I am NOT getting up on a steep South Side roof to patch a damn hole. I am going o keep my ass safe on the couch and watch the game!!!
Yeah, I did my homework... knew the neighborhood, etc... Michigan played Notre Dame that day so ya know there was some heavy drinking going on all over the area.
But back to my original point... I am a horrible juror. All I gotta do is wait for the Blue Pen story to come up and I will get out of it every time.
Peace Out...
Heitz
I dunno... I am three or four chapters into “I Hope They Server Beer in Hell” and am just not feeling it. As far as I can tell, I probably kicked this guy's ass at some point if what he is writing actually happened. He's the kind of pretentious, self-indulged asshole that probably gets his kicks just talking louder than other people. All his “friends” have stupid nicknames, and basically all they do is drink heavily (no arguments there...) and treat women like dirt.
And seriously... what the hell kind of name is Tucker Max? He's named after my buddy's dog apparently.
Looking at the cover I thought to myself... “he looks like a jackass but maybe it'll be a good laugh while I am on the shitter.” No lie, I have been constipated as hell since starting to read this bullshit that passes for a NY Times Best Seller. Cannot get a good BM going so I gotta finish this worthless waste of paper quick... I promised Emily I wouldn't use it to wipe, so no worries there...
The good news is, this gives me hope! I can out-write and probably out-think this guy in my sleep! He will probably drink me under the table but shit so can Emily! Why the hell am I not published yet??? What this guy is published because he's a brilliant author? Hardly!
So, I am going to keep reading in the hopes it improves. So far, not impressed.
*
I had to show up for jury duty a few weeks ago and was fortunate enough not to get picked for a jury. I am a big fan of the trial by jury thing, I just don't want to have to take part. I'm a HORRIBLE juror anyways...
Basically, the way our judicial system works is you have to leave your personality at the door, forget about ANYTHING that might have happened, and focus on what you are TOLD are the “facts”.
Anyone that has gone into a court room as part of the selection process has probably heard the analogy they use to try and determine if you can render a verdict in particular cases... I've been to jury duty twice and heard this same spiel twice so I think it is in the “Lawyer 101” course... I should ask Tucker Max... he probably knows...
“If there was a law you didn't agree with, but mind you IT'S THE LAW, would you be able to render a verdict for a case that has something to do with that law?”
The story they use goes like this... Let's say the lawmakers in Washington decide to ban Blue Pens. Yeah, blue pens... damn them all to Hell.
OK, so anyways, assume Blue Pens are now illegal. Whether you think this law is just or not, would you be able to sit on a jury and pass judgment on someone accused of using a Blue Pen. Of course, I can't just sit there and take it so I say to the prosecutor:
“Well, it depends...”
“On what?”, he says.
“Well, first off... how many blue pens do I have at home? Second, can I walk into Wal-Mart or CVS and buy Blue pens legally???”, I reply.
“Well, none of that should matter if they are banned,” he says.
“Sure, if you are living under a rock.” I comment... then continue, “A better example would be Prohibition. If Congress decided today to bring back Prohibition, I can say with 100% certainty that I would get done with jury duty today, go home, open my refrigerator door, pull out an ice cold Beck's, crack it open start drinking.”
Needless to say, after scribbling some notes, I was removed from contention as a juror that day. Seriously though, I HAVE to be this cynical... here's what happened the one time I was selected to jury duty...
JURY FOREMAN!!!
Yeah... damn fraudulent case if ever I saw one. The problem is, the lawyers and judge get together ahead of time and agree on certain things that will be kept out of the courtroom... like, hmmmm, I dunno... a toxicology report for someone that fell off a roof.
No lie, this guy never worked a day in his life, fell off his cousins roof “fixing a hole”, and was trying to get $250K out of the insurance company. Th issue I had was we receive a 50 page hospital report regarding his injuries and treatments INCLUDING a 5 page tox screen that had all the info blacked out.
Now, I am not a cop, nor do I work in a hospital, but I think common sense says if a tox screen comes back with 5 pages the boy was drinking or doing SOMETHING!!!
Yeah, he got nothing... the looks on both their faces (as well as the two lawyers) was priceless... they were clearly splitting the winnings and had it spent already. We gave them, to the penny, what his medical expenses were to date.
The way I see it, you have to have a sense of self preservation. If I am drinking, and it's a rainy Saturday in college football season, I am NOT getting up on a steep South Side roof to patch a damn hole. I am going o keep my ass safe on the couch and watch the game!!!
Yeah, I did my homework... knew the neighborhood, etc... Michigan played Notre Dame that day so ya know there was some heavy drinking going on all over the area.
But back to my original point... I am a horrible juror. All I gotta do is wait for the Blue Pen story to come up and I will get out of it every time.
Peace Out...
Heitz
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Just working over here
OK, so I have had my head buried in the sand for a while since my 100th post... sorry about that... but it's a friggin recession up in here, ain't it???
Hell, I've been screaming recession from a mountain top since the beginning of 2007! Hmmm, seems that is still ahead of what the Feds are finally fessing up to. Either I am brilliant or they lie too much... maybe a little of both.
I guess as someone who was cut loose from gainful employment 4 times in the past 24 months and 5 times overall since 2003, I have a pretty different perspective from most folks when it comes to being out of work, down-on-yer-luck, and just putting the nose to the ol' grindstone when I do have a job. Had a conversation this morning with someone who hit the proverbial nail on the head... "I feel happy just to HAVE a job right now!"
I was part of a BBC radio show a few weeks ago that some folks may have heard... I plastered it all over my Facebook page... Talk about a whole “OTHER” perspective!!! I was the unique person on the call because I had been through so many layoffs. And not just being laid off... I mean, I was right in the thick of the “Sub-prime Tsunami” as my pal Darrin likes to call it. I worked for Fremont Investment & Loan, the first company the FDIC really came in and just flat-out shut down. I think worked for IndyMac bank who suffered a similar fate and is now being controlled by the Feds...
I then went to a division of Bear Stearns and we all know they are now a branch office of JP Morgan Chase. And now of course JP Morgan Chase is laying folks off here in the Tampa area! Good thing I didn't go over there, huh!!!
Finally, Robert Half cut me loose (well, I cut them loose technically but I only just beat them to the punch I bet) and I hear now that the entire division I was a part of is Adios!
As crazy as it seems, all of those failed companies crashed for similar reasons, and all of them had too big of an ego to realize they were in trouble. I was in meetings and conference calls with ALL of these companies that sorta went like this:
: “We are a publicly traded company with $X billion dollars in reserves! The economy is fine, you just need to work harder to make the same amount of money! We aren't going anywhere!!! We've been in business forever!!!”
Or specifically in the case of Bear Stearns: “We've made a profit for 87 consecutive years!!! We're not going under!!!”
No lie, by the time I left Robert Half in August I could lead the conference calls myself. I heard the same ridiculous, egomaniacal rants from so many executive levels folks that I just couldn't even listen half the time. NONE of them would come to the table and say, “OK, times are tough... here's what we are going to do to weather the storm and ensure you still have a job”.
Sadly, many of them are STILL out of work. As I said before... “I feel lucky to have a job!!!” and it's the sad truth!
The good news is, the new job I have is great! I am a computer geek again! WAA HOO!!! I had a guy say to me a month ago... “Well, I feel safe because no one ever lays off IT people!!!”
hmmmm... it was all I could do NOT to punch the guy in the nose. Talk about having yer head buried in the sand!
***
But back to the BBC thing... some food for thought...
The unemployment in the US is still below 10% (actually, just looked online and US Dept of Labor says 6.5%)... one person on the round table discussion said that the unemployment in his country (I want to say it was Ghana or something) is in the neighborhood f 75%!!!
Imagine if you and you entire family were all out of work and no prospects for work in the next 12 months... seriously, that is how much of the world is!!! There was a caller from China on the show... here's what he had to say (paraphrasing a bit here):
“It's a foreign concept to us here where there are no 'rights'... no right to work, can't vote... I mean, just the thought that you just selected your country's leader is mind-boggling”...
I've always been one to keep things in perspective, I guess. Even though I have been through the ringer over the past 5 years, it could be MUCH, MUCH worse... I could be out of work AND have no one to blame but myself??? hmmm... not sure I like the sound of that.
…
In other news, the Chicago Bears severely suck ass. Anyone that saw the ass-whuppin' the Minnesota Vikings laid on them Sunday night realizes that. Of course, one person still with his head in the clouds is head coach, Lovie Smith. After halftime (and mind you they were losing at the half) the sideline reporter informed the nation that Lovie is officially on crack:
“...Lovie Smith said that the Bears really dominated that first half...”
OK, again I paraphrase a bit, but that was the gist of what she said. So riddle me this... if you dominated, how are you losing? The Bears got whupped in ever aspect of the game... our defense played well, but then collapsed at key moments (like the 99 yard TD pass!!!)... the Offense was mildly productive (rookie RB Matt Forte played well... just don't expect him to score from the 1-Yard line) except for when it was self-destructing.
My buddy Dave hit the nail on the head... the Bears should have traded Devin Hester last season. He's a waste of space right now. He caught a pass early in the game and took it all the way for a TD but then dropped 4-5 passes and did nothing at all returning punts. For the amount of money he is making, anything short of a TD a week is a waste of time.
Well, I resisted the urge to throw a temper tantrum and just drank another beer. Needless to say, Monday was a rough day.
Alright... back to the video games...
Peace out...
Heitz
Hell, I've been screaming recession from a mountain top since the beginning of 2007! Hmmm, seems that is still ahead of what the Feds are finally fessing up to. Either I am brilliant or they lie too much... maybe a little of both.
I guess as someone who was cut loose from gainful employment 4 times in the past 24 months and 5 times overall since 2003, I have a pretty different perspective from most folks when it comes to being out of work, down-on-yer-luck, and just putting the nose to the ol' grindstone when I do have a job. Had a conversation this morning with someone who hit the proverbial nail on the head... "I feel happy just to HAVE a job right now!"
I was part of a BBC radio show a few weeks ago that some folks may have heard... I plastered it all over my Facebook page... Talk about a whole “OTHER” perspective!!! I was the unique person on the call because I had been through so many layoffs. And not just being laid off... I mean, I was right in the thick of the “Sub-prime Tsunami” as my pal Darrin likes to call it. I worked for Fremont Investment & Loan, the first company the FDIC really came in and just flat-out shut down. I think worked for IndyMac bank who suffered a similar fate and is now being controlled by the Feds...
I then went to a division of Bear Stearns and we all know they are now a branch office of JP Morgan Chase. And now of course JP Morgan Chase is laying folks off here in the Tampa area! Good thing I didn't go over there, huh!!!
Finally, Robert Half cut me loose (well, I cut them loose technically but I only just beat them to the punch I bet) and I hear now that the entire division I was a part of is Adios!
As crazy as it seems, all of those failed companies crashed for similar reasons, and all of them had too big of an ego to realize they were in trouble. I was in meetings and conference calls with ALL of these companies that sorta went like this:
Or specifically in the case of Bear Stearns: “We've made a profit for 87 consecutive years!!! We're not going under!!!”
No lie, by the time I left Robert Half in August I could lead the conference calls myself. I heard the same ridiculous, egomaniacal rants from so many executive levels folks that I just couldn't even listen half the time. NONE of them would come to the table and say, “OK, times are tough... here's what we are going to do to weather the storm and ensure you still have a job”.
Sadly, many of them are STILL out of work. As I said before... “I feel lucky to have a job!!!” and it's the sad truth!
The good news is, the new job I have is great! I am a computer geek again! WAA HOO!!! I had a guy say to me a month ago... “Well, I feel safe because no one ever lays off IT people!!!”
hmmmm... it was all I could do NOT to punch the guy in the nose. Talk about having yer head buried in the sand!
***
But back to the BBC thing... some food for thought...
The unemployment in the US is still below 10% (actually, just looked online and US Dept of Labor says 6.5%)... one person on the round table discussion said that the unemployment in his country (I want to say it was Ghana or something) is in the neighborhood f 75%!!!
Imagine if you and you entire family were all out of work and no prospects for work in the next 12 months... seriously, that is how much of the world is!!! There was a caller from China on the show... here's what he had to say (paraphrasing a bit here):
“It's a foreign concept to us here where there are no 'rights'... no right to work, can't vote... I mean, just the thought that you just selected your country's leader is mind-boggling”...
I've always been one to keep things in perspective, I guess. Even though I have been through the ringer over the past 5 years, it could be MUCH, MUCH worse... I could be out of work AND have no one to blame but myself??? hmmm... not sure I like the sound of that.
…
In other news, the Chicago Bears severely suck ass. Anyone that saw the ass-whuppin' the Minnesota Vikings laid on them Sunday night realizes that. Of course, one person still with his head in the clouds is head coach, Lovie Smith. After halftime (and mind you they were losing at the half) the sideline reporter informed the nation that Lovie is officially on crack:
“...Lovie Smith said that the Bears really dominated that first half...”
OK, again I paraphrase a bit, but that was the gist of what she said. So riddle me this... if you dominated, how are you losing? The Bears got whupped in ever aspect of the game... our defense played well, but then collapsed at key moments (like the 99 yard TD pass!!!)... the Offense was mildly productive (rookie RB Matt Forte played well... just don't expect him to score from the 1-Yard line) except for when it was self-destructing.
My buddy Dave hit the nail on the head... the Bears should have traded Devin Hester last season. He's a waste of space right now. He caught a pass early in the game and took it all the way for a TD but then dropped 4-5 passes and did nothing at all returning punts. For the amount of money he is making, anything short of a TD a week is a waste of time.
Well, I resisted the urge to throw a temper tantrum and just drank another beer. Needless to say, Monday was a rough day.
Alright... back to the video games...
Peace out...
Heitz
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
The 100th Episode of Heitz!!!
Two words...
HOLY SHIT!
All I can say... not that I have the reader base of a REAL blogger or columnist, but 100 posts is like a milestone I guess... Right? I mean, I'm sure Seinfeld had a big ol' bash for his 100th episode... how about David Letterman? Hell, he probably can't even remember his 100th episode!!!
So, I thought I'd find some fun stuff to talk about today... instead of my usual boring drivel and nonsense. ;-)
OK, first I want to call for the removal of a couple folks... Tony Kornheiser and the Geico Cavemen.
The original Geico Caveman commercials were cute, nbothing more. I guarantee you NO ONE bought Geico insurance based on some dumb ass caveman commercials. How that ad campaign is still going is ludicrous. Did Geico get painted into a corner on a 10 year contract or something> I mean these things are getting worse and worse... what the hell does Billy Jean King and a Caveman who can't read have to do with me buying insurance??? And seriously, who believes that cute blonde will be on the beach with a hairy ass caveman who cries like a sissy with a skinned knee when the ad trails behind an airplane overhead.
Didn't we get rid of the failed Caveman sitcom in the first season? That was about the worst idea ever... "Let's take those cavemen that everyone hates and make a whole show about them!!!" YEAH!!! FUCK OFF CAVEMEN!!! There is a reason those guys are extinct, OK... they're hairy and they suck, and they are truly NOT funny.
Speaking of hairy... how about someone losing their hair... Honestly, I could give two shyts what my hair looks like. I shave my head down pretty close every week or two and could care less that I have a lumpy head and look like I'm going to boot camp. But Tony Kornheiser is taking it to a whole new level. I really never dreamed that some day I would sit down and seriously spend time writing about a combover, but ferchrissakes this guy needs some help.
OK, forget the fact that he is absolutely useless on Monday Night Football. I think the only person I disagree with more is well... hell, probably no one! The fact that the Geico Caveman commercials are helping pay his salary is just an absolute travesty... I mean, I'm all for Geico crashing and burning for sticking with that ridiculous campaign, but even I can get better bang for my buck than having Tony Kornkeiser on prime time television!
I can only equate my dislike for Kornheiser and his "hair" and lack of anything to add to the equation to the old Super Bowl Halftime specials... remember when EVERYONE on the planet flipped over to Fox to catch the Simpsons halftime special??? Ahhh, those were the good ol' days... now we get Janet Jackson's plastic tit if we're lucky. Only problem is, there's nothing to flip over to at halftime EVERY Monday night! I mean, there is (Prison Break, Heroes, etc... ) but those are hour long shows and Tivo is already taking care of that.
Bottom line is Kornheiser should just shave his head. At least then he'll just be a moron instead of a moron with a ridiculous combover.
Maybe, just maybe, he can help the Cavemen along... teach them how to do a whole body combover... I know, that would be ridiculous... why not just shave them too??? I'm all about baby steps... as long as we are making progress I am happy.
I only have a couple other topics today I wanted to share.
First off... pediatricians... GO TO HELL!!!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27035470/
We got all these doctors on the planet and some of them think it's vital to tell us not to have cool pets because they can get yer kids sick. Turns out that children under the age of 5 are still developing their immune system so are very susceptible to all kinds of diseases.
No shit??? Are they serious? I thought my nieces and nephews had diarrhea and ear infections and shit because they enjoyed crapping their pants! Did I really need a doctor to tell me that pet iguanas and hamsters have different germs than a puppy. Wow! All that education and that's all they got? Shit, I was a "C" student at Southern Illinois University and I got that figured out.
Seriously... geniuses... luv 'em...
And last but not least...
I am sort of a Soccer fan... love the FIFA leagues over seas like the British Premier league and the Bundesliga... good stuff... Well, I just decided that my new favorite team is Newcastle United. Joe Kinear is seriously my favorite coach of ANY team or sport since Mike Ditka coached the Bears back in the day.
Hell, I never even heard of Joe Kinnear until this rant but he is now my new favorite person on the planet. I mean, I don't drop that many F-Bombs EVER! Anyone that has been drunk with me knows, once I get lit I turn into a grade-A, South Side of Chicago jack-ass. This guy makes me look like a choir boy with a mouth clean enough to kiss a priest! (Above the belt... keep it clean people!!!)
I am now a fan of Newcastle United, and I will be until this guy either quits, gets fired, gets killed by a family member of one of these reporters... doesn't matter... I may go get me a Kinnear jersey or something...
I am sitting here listening to this press conference while I type and it literally is 10 minutes of him dishing it out to numerous reporters and not taking a bit of shit from ANY of them. The guy certainly has great big balls of steel in my book.
So, anyhoo...
100 posts in the books. I feel like I need to get my head out of my ass sometimes, but then I read some of the things I have written say last year, and I think... damn, that's some stupid shit!
All I can say and promise is at least 100 more posts of stupid shit. I promise rarely to make sense, always to keep the filter off, and occasionally hit the spell-check button.
Peace out...
Heitz
HOLY SHIT!
All I can say... not that I have the reader base of a REAL blogger or columnist, but 100 posts is like a milestone I guess... Right? I mean, I'm sure Seinfeld had a big ol' bash for his 100th episode... how about David Letterman? Hell, he probably can't even remember his 100th episode!!!
So, I thought I'd find some fun stuff to talk about today... instead of my usual boring drivel and nonsense. ;-)
OK, first I want to call for the removal of a couple folks... Tony Kornheiser and the Geico Cavemen.
The original Geico Caveman commercials were cute, nbothing more. I guarantee you NO ONE bought Geico insurance based on some dumb ass caveman commercials. How that ad campaign is still going is ludicrous. Did Geico get painted into a corner on a 10 year contract or something> I mean these things are getting worse and worse... what the hell does Billy Jean King and a Caveman who can't read have to do with me buying insurance??? And seriously, who believes that cute blonde will be on the beach with a hairy ass caveman who cries like a sissy with a skinned knee when the ad trails behind an airplane overhead.
Didn't we get rid of the failed Caveman sitcom in the first season? That was about the worst idea ever... "Let's take those cavemen that everyone hates and make a whole show about them!!!" YEAH!!! FUCK OFF CAVEMEN!!! There is a reason those guys are extinct, OK... they're hairy and they suck, and they are truly NOT funny.
Speaking of hairy... how about someone losing their hair... Honestly, I could give two shyts what my hair looks like. I shave my head down pretty close every week or two and could care less that I have a lumpy head and look like I'm going to boot camp. But Tony Kornheiser is taking it to a whole new level. I really never dreamed that some day I would sit down and seriously spend time writing about a combover, but ferchrissakes this guy needs some help.
OK, forget the fact that he is absolutely useless on Monday Night Football. I think the only person I disagree with more is well... hell, probably no one! The fact that the Geico Caveman commercials are helping pay his salary is just an absolute travesty... I mean, I'm all for Geico crashing and burning for sticking with that ridiculous campaign, but even I can get better bang for my buck than having Tony Kornkeiser on prime time television!
I can only equate my dislike for Kornheiser and his "hair" and lack of anything to add to the equation to the old Super Bowl Halftime specials... remember when EVERYONE on the planet flipped over to Fox to catch the Simpsons halftime special??? Ahhh, those were the good ol' days... now we get Janet Jackson's plastic tit if we're lucky. Only problem is, there's nothing to flip over to at halftime EVERY Monday night! I mean, there is (Prison Break, Heroes, etc... ) but those are hour long shows and Tivo is already taking care of that.
Bottom line is Kornheiser should just shave his head. At least then he'll just be a moron instead of a moron with a ridiculous combover.
Maybe, just maybe, he can help the Cavemen along... teach them how to do a whole body combover... I know, that would be ridiculous... why not just shave them too??? I'm all about baby steps... as long as we are making progress I am happy.
I only have a couple other topics today I wanted to share.
First off... pediatricians... GO TO HELL!!!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27035470/
We got all these doctors on the planet and some of them think it's vital to tell us not to have cool pets because they can get yer kids sick. Turns out that children under the age of 5 are still developing their immune system so are very susceptible to all kinds of diseases.
No shit??? Are they serious? I thought my nieces and nephews had diarrhea and ear infections and shit because they enjoyed crapping their pants! Did I really need a doctor to tell me that pet iguanas and hamsters have different germs than a puppy. Wow! All that education and that's all they got? Shit, I was a "C" student at Southern Illinois University and I got that figured out.
Seriously... geniuses... luv 'em...
And last but not least...
I am sort of a Soccer fan... love the FIFA leagues over seas like the British Premier league and the Bundesliga... good stuff... Well, I just decided that my new favorite team is Newcastle United. Joe Kinear is seriously my favorite coach of ANY team or sport since Mike Ditka coached the Bears back in the day.
Hell, I never even heard of Joe Kinnear until this rant but he is now my new favorite person on the planet. I mean, I don't drop that many F-Bombs EVER! Anyone that has been drunk with me knows, once I get lit I turn into a grade-A, South Side of Chicago jack-ass. This guy makes me look like a choir boy with a mouth clean enough to kiss a priest! (Above the belt... keep it clean people!!!)
I am now a fan of Newcastle United, and I will be until this guy either quits, gets fired, gets killed by a family member of one of these reporters... doesn't matter... I may go get me a Kinnear jersey or something...
I am sitting here listening to this press conference while I type and it literally is 10 minutes of him dishing it out to numerous reporters and not taking a bit of shit from ANY of them. The guy certainly has great big balls of steel in my book.
So, anyhoo...
100 posts in the books. I feel like I need to get my head out of my ass sometimes, but then I read some of the things I have written say last year, and I think... damn, that's some stupid shit!
All I can say and promise is at least 100 more posts of stupid shit. I promise rarely to make sense, always to keep the filter off, and occasionally hit the spell-check button.
Peace out...
Heitz
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Feeling kinda - ya know - blah....
I was reading some news feeds and I'm not sure if I am just like... outta touch... or what the deal is. Who the hell is Steve Fossett??? Why does his name sound familiar and why should I care that he crashed his plane in 2007 and some hikers found the wreckage???
Am I a bad person for not giving two hoots? Doubtful... I mean, I've worked for 3 companies who have gone out of business in the past 24 months, am barely scraping by to keep food in my belly, and some billionaire who crashed his plane last year is news??? Excuse me for forgetting poor Steve Fossett...
Now, the person I am concerned about is the guy that beat up a 16 year old girl in a McDonald's recently. I mean, how hungry have you got to be to defend your spot in line by resorting to fisticuffs??? Severely hungry, I say! Been there, ain't done THAT! I mean, he really cold-coked that kid... crazy... oh yeah, best part... he had his kids with him!!! What a great father and role model he is!!! All these African American dad's that are nowhere to be found and this guy sets this kind of example for his kids. Thanks buddy...
I am still at work... yay... construction crews are here so gotta stay and make sure we don't end up with like new penthouse views on accident I think. ;-) that would be way over the top... even for me!
Watched the Rays beat the White Sox in game 1 of their playoff series. I told a friend of mine this morning that the Rays would go further in this years playoffs than the Cubs would or I'd buy her a beer. Seriously, the Cubs were the best home tea min baseball this year and they laid a serious egg last night. So much for this being "their year", I guess... I'm sure if they were going to do more than roll over they'd at least be able to throw some strikes that didn't get blasted into the bleachers... or may be I am expecting too much???
In any event... I am back in the saddle... literally and figuratively... found a web-site looking for some football writers and going to get back into that along with my blogging. Shyt... when will I have time to get back to work on my damn novel... OK, I'll do that on Saturdays. ;-) I'll be sure to link to my Bears stuff as I get rolling on it... gotta do some digging...
Alright... gotta be close to being done for the evening... time to kick back, watch the crew work, and slam some more soda. YAY!!!
Peace out
Heitz
Am I a bad person for not giving two hoots? Doubtful... I mean, I've worked for 3 companies who have gone out of business in the past 24 months, am barely scraping by to keep food in my belly, and some billionaire who crashed his plane last year is news??? Excuse me for forgetting poor Steve Fossett...
Now, the person I am concerned about is the guy that beat up a 16 year old girl in a McDonald's recently. I mean, how hungry have you got to be to defend your spot in line by resorting to fisticuffs??? Severely hungry, I say! Been there, ain't done THAT! I mean, he really cold-coked that kid... crazy... oh yeah, best part... he had his kids with him!!! What a great father and role model he is!!! All these African American dad's that are nowhere to be found and this guy sets this kind of example for his kids. Thanks buddy...
I am still at work... yay... construction crews are here so gotta stay and make sure we don't end up with like new penthouse views on accident I think. ;-) that would be way over the top... even for me!
Watched the Rays beat the White Sox in game 1 of their playoff series. I told a friend of mine this morning that the Rays would go further in this years playoffs than the Cubs would or I'd buy her a beer. Seriously, the Cubs were the best home tea min baseball this year and they laid a serious egg last night. So much for this being "their year", I guess... I'm sure if they were going to do more than roll over they'd at least be able to throw some strikes that didn't get blasted into the bleachers... or may be I am expecting too much???
In any event... I am back in the saddle... literally and figuratively... found a web-site looking for some football writers and going to get back into that along with my blogging. Shyt... when will I have time to get back to work on my damn novel... OK, I'll do that on Saturdays. ;-) I'll be sure to link to my Bears stuff as I get rolling on it... gotta do some digging...
Alright... gotta be close to being done for the evening... time to kick back, watch the crew work, and slam some more soda. YAY!!!
Peace out
Heitz
Friday, September 26, 2008
ok... friday pm blues blog
so, I am SOOOOOOO ready to get my lanky butt out of the office for the weekend and like time has stopped... So I hit some news feeds... check this out...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26901780/
Just thinking out loud on this one but if I were planning on invading a country, I'm starting with the Ukraine. Seriously... they let pirates off the coast of Somalia hijack a ship with 33 Russian tanks onboard as cargo!!! 33 tanks! You know, the ones that shoot huge bombs and blow shit up!!! PIRATES took them!!! We're talking Captain Jack Sparrow now has his hands on 33 Russian tanks!!! un-frikkin-believable!!!
The report says that the pirates didn't know what kind of cargo was on the ship, but I'm thinking if I was transporting 33 tanks along with parts and ammo for them, I might want to have some dudes armed to the teeth protecting my investment!
So, now we have a bunch of Somali-Scallywags with Russian tanks. And the article says they will have a hard time selling them... uhhhhhh... HELLO!!! ever stop to think who we are talking about here? They'll roll them on land and use them to kill stuff and blow things up you dumb-asses!!!
Seriously... I'm invading the Ukraine like next Tuesday if anyone wants to tag along.
And then the FDA warned US citizens not to consume Mr. Brown coffee products... Seriously? Mr. Brown??? Is this the same Mr. Brown that put all our favorite rock-stars in rehab or the one that leaves a stain in your drawers??? Who the hell comes up with these brand names anyways??? I saw a commercial last night for something called the Snuggie. It's basically a monk's robes... or better yet, it really looks like the robes you see cult leaders wearing as they lead their flock to the Mothership. Anyone seen the Family Guy episode with the guy in the White Robe (season 1, episode 3)? Seriously, same damn thing! All these ridiculously happy people holding kids and pets and shit in their big death robes. Crazy! I shot Diet Coke out my nose when I saw it!
http://www.getsnuggie.com
I guess I don't really need to know who buys this stuff but at 2 for $19.95 I'm sure there are plenty of people that will suck down some Kool-Aid and wake up in a better place. I say Good Riddance!!!
Peace out
Heitz
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26901780/
Just thinking out loud on this one but if I were planning on invading a country, I'm starting with the Ukraine. Seriously... they let pirates off the coast of Somalia hijack a ship with 33 Russian tanks onboard as cargo!!! 33 tanks! You know, the ones that shoot huge bombs and blow shit up!!! PIRATES took them!!! We're talking Captain Jack Sparrow now has his hands on 33 Russian tanks!!! un-frikkin-believable!!!
The report says that the pirates didn't know what kind of cargo was on the ship, but I'm thinking if I was transporting 33 tanks along with parts and ammo for them, I might want to have some dudes armed to the teeth protecting my investment!
So, now we have a bunch of Somali-Scallywags with Russian tanks. And the article says they will have a hard time selling them... uhhhhhh... HELLO!!! ever stop to think who we are talking about here? They'll roll them on land and use them to kill stuff and blow things up you dumb-asses!!!
Seriously... I'm invading the Ukraine like next Tuesday if anyone wants to tag along.
And then the FDA warned US citizens not to consume Mr. Brown coffee products... Seriously? Mr. Brown??? Is this the same Mr. Brown that put all our favorite rock-stars in rehab or the one that leaves a stain in your drawers??? Who the hell comes up with these brand names anyways??? I saw a commercial last night for something called the Snuggie. It's basically a monk's robes... or better yet, it really looks like the robes you see cult leaders wearing as they lead their flock to the Mothership. Anyone seen the Family Guy episode with the guy in the White Robe (season 1, episode 3)? Seriously, same damn thing! All these ridiculously happy people holding kids and pets and shit in their big death robes. Crazy! I shot Diet Coke out my nose when I saw it!
http://www.getsnuggie.com
I guess I don't really need to know who buys this stuff but at 2 for $19.95 I'm sure there are plenty of people that will suck down some Kool-Aid and wake up in a better place. I say Good Riddance!!!
Peace out
Heitz
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Don't get pulled over in W.VA.
No lie... this shyt is true -
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26877682/
As I pointed out on my Facebook profile the other day, West Virginia is pretty wacked out. this guy, pulled over for a DUI scooted his chair over and farted, waving the aromatic smells in the direction of the arresting officers. They slapped a Battery charge on him!!!
So, when I was a kid and my dad sat on my chest and tickled me and accidentally let one loose... I could had him hit with Assault & Battery, right??? I mean, shit man, I was ABUSED!!!
Needless to say, the only time I will spend in West Virginia is when my plane is flying over on my way somewhere less shitty.
Other fun headlines this week:
Clay "Yes He is Still in the News" Aiken... apparently some folks weren't aware of his gayness, so they had to announce on the news that YES he is in fact gay. I mean, forget the fact that he dresses way better than me, has great skin, and sings like really NON-manly songs (eg, AC/DC, Metallica, etc...). How else would we have figured it out??? I should ask some of my gay friends... they'd be like, "oh, hells yeah he's a fairy!" Not a very good kisser I'm guessing which is why he feels the need to advertise his homosexuality to those that might not have been aware. Must've burned too many bridges with his lack of ability so he's looking for some new hook-ups.
How about the $700,000,000,000 bailout President Bush and Congress are mulling over for the financial industry? Saw an interesting comment about taking that money and just giving it to the taxpayers... I like it... let's say there are 200,000,000 taxpayers (totally guessing there, may be more, may be less)... That would be $3,500 each!!! Ya know what I could do with $3,500??? How about paying off two credit cards that are about to jump to collection because I went from 6 figures to NO figures due to the crisis at hand??? Right off the bat we could help the people that need it most (us poor taxpayers!!!) and I'm sure the fact that people paying some of their bills would make this financial crisis look MUCH better... just a hunch...
Lindsay Lohan is gay??? Whatev... see same reasoning for Clay Aiken except she's hot. Who cares... all those Hollywood starlets are at the very least BI so who gives a shit if one says they are full-fledged gay? Like that makes me think she isn't hot anymore? Seriously, do the news feeds really need to fill my Inbox with this crap?
alrighty then...
time to get back to work... full weekend on tap so I gotta make a few biscuits in the basket before tomorrow!
peace out
heitz
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26877682/
As I pointed out on my Facebook profile the other day, West Virginia is pretty wacked out. this guy, pulled over for a DUI scooted his chair over and farted, waving the aromatic smells in the direction of the arresting officers. They slapped a Battery charge on him!!!
So, when I was a kid and my dad sat on my chest and tickled me and accidentally let one loose... I could had him hit with Assault & Battery, right??? I mean, shit man, I was ABUSED!!!
Needless to say, the only time I will spend in West Virginia is when my plane is flying over on my way somewhere less shitty.
Other fun headlines this week:
Clay "Yes He is Still in the News" Aiken... apparently some folks weren't aware of his gayness, so they had to announce on the news that YES he is in fact gay. I mean, forget the fact that he dresses way better than me, has great skin, and sings like really NON-manly songs (eg, AC/DC, Metallica, etc...). How else would we have figured it out??? I should ask some of my gay friends... they'd be like, "oh, hells yeah he's a fairy!" Not a very good kisser I'm guessing which is why he feels the need to advertise his homosexuality to those that might not have been aware. Must've burned too many bridges with his lack of ability so he's looking for some new hook-ups.
How about the $700,000,000,000 bailout President Bush and Congress are mulling over for the financial industry? Saw an interesting comment about taking that money and just giving it to the taxpayers... I like it... let's say there are 200,000,000 taxpayers (totally guessing there, may be more, may be less)... That would be $3,500 each!!! Ya know what I could do with $3,500??? How about paying off two credit cards that are about to jump to collection because I went from 6 figures to NO figures due to the crisis at hand??? Right off the bat we could help the people that need it most (us poor taxpayers!!!) and I'm sure the fact that people paying some of their bills would make this financial crisis look MUCH better... just a hunch...
Lindsay Lohan is gay??? Whatev... see same reasoning for Clay Aiken except she's hot. Who cares... all those Hollywood starlets are at the very least BI so who gives a shit if one says they are full-fledged gay? Like that makes me think she isn't hot anymore? Seriously, do the news feeds really need to fill my Inbox with this crap?
alrighty then...
time to get back to work... full weekend on tap so I gotta make a few biscuits in the basket before tomorrow!
peace out
heitz
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Hmmm, digging this lunchtime thing
Wow, having a normal job again is kinda cool... Eat my lunch, digest a bit... blog a bit... think about what I will have for dinner.
Is this how the rest of the world operates??? SHYTE!!! I should been doing this years ago!
So, I was curious about the Republican's bringing the Alaskan governor, Sarah Palin into the mix with McCain. Now, a few months back, I got onto USA Today's web-site and they had some thing where you answer a bunch of questions and it matches you up with the best candidate for you. Now, I got matched with some goof from Alaska (can't even remember his name... he's in my blog somewhere) instead of Obama... of course, Obama was like a close 2nd or third or something...
Anyhoo... so I'm thinking about it this morning while watching Pelicans and stuff dive bomb for fish... what ever happened to that guy? How is it that the 2nd place person is not automatically put up as the VP candidate??? Looking at the democrats, we'd then have another four years of Hillary in office... but what the hey, right?
So it just struck me as interesting that we get these relatives unknowns in the mix suddenly. I mean, it's obvious that Palin is in there to try and counteract the possibility of a Black President. Ask the voters in West Virginia, a historically Democrat state, which is worse in their minds, a Black President or a female VP... That state has suddenly become Republican...
crazy bigots...
So, I guess I'm just hoping enough of the folks like me (educated, white, good looking) that say they are behind Obama, are REALLY behind him and get their butts out there and vote! I've already sent off my updated voter registration since I moved so I'm solid.
Other than that, what else is new??? oh yeah, the Bears suck ass, the Cubs have locked up home field advantage, and people are killing school kids in Finland.
Something else I came across this morning on Yahoo! Sports... check it:
Stunned by two gut-wrenching losses, Philip Rivers, LaDainian Tomlinson and the rest of the Chargers raced past nemesis Favre and the New York Jets for a 48-29 victory Monday night in a wild game befitting two original AFL teams.
I'm gonna just ask the obvious question... and being a Bears fan, I am insulted by this statemtent because Brett Fav-ruh was MY nemesis... not some octopus eating Charger fan surfing to work every day. So exactly when did Fav-ruh become the Chargers nemesis? I mean seriously, I don't even know when the last time he played the Chargers was! Are they saying that since he is a first ballot hall of famer that he must be EVERYONE's nemesis???
Seriously, someone make sense of this for me... I had a Nutty Bar for lunch and I think the lack of nourishment is really impeding my thought process.
Peace out...
Heitz
Is this how the rest of the world operates??? SHYTE!!! I should been doing this years ago!
So, I was curious about the Republican's bringing the Alaskan governor, Sarah Palin into the mix with McCain. Now, a few months back, I got onto USA Today's web-site and they had some thing where you answer a bunch of questions and it matches you up with the best candidate for you. Now, I got matched with some goof from Alaska (can't even remember his name... he's in my blog somewhere) instead of Obama... of course, Obama was like a close 2nd or third or something...
Anyhoo... so I'm thinking about it this morning while watching Pelicans and stuff dive bomb for fish... what ever happened to that guy? How is it that the 2nd place person is not automatically put up as the VP candidate??? Looking at the democrats, we'd then have another four years of Hillary in office... but what the hey, right?
So it just struck me as interesting that we get these relatives unknowns in the mix suddenly. I mean, it's obvious that Palin is in there to try and counteract the possibility of a Black President. Ask the voters in West Virginia, a historically Democrat state, which is worse in their minds, a Black President or a female VP... That state has suddenly become Republican...
crazy bigots...
So, I guess I'm just hoping enough of the folks like me (educated, white, good looking) that say they are behind Obama, are REALLY behind him and get their butts out there and vote! I've already sent off my updated voter registration since I moved so I'm solid.
Other than that, what else is new??? oh yeah, the Bears suck ass, the Cubs have locked up home field advantage, and people are killing school kids in Finland.
Something else I came across this morning on Yahoo! Sports... check it:
Stunned by two gut-wrenching losses, Philip Rivers, LaDainian Tomlinson and the rest of the Chargers raced past nemesis Favre and the New York Jets for a 48-29 victory Monday night in a wild game befitting two original AFL teams.
I'm gonna just ask the obvious question... and being a Bears fan, I am insulted by this statemtent because Brett Fav-ruh was MY nemesis... not some octopus eating Charger fan surfing to work every day. So exactly when did Fav-ruh become the Chargers nemesis? I mean seriously, I don't even know when the last time he played the Chargers was! Are they saying that since he is a first ballot hall of famer that he must be EVERYONE's nemesis???
Seriously, someone make sense of this for me... I had a Nutty Bar for lunch and I think the lack of nourishment is really impeding my thought process.
Peace out...
Heitz
Monday, September 22, 2008
Lunchtime Blog
ok, taking a moment to get some thoughts together while my body tries to figure out what to do with two Hot Pockets, a bag of Cheeto's, and a Diet Coke.
Seriously, why bother with a Diet Coke in this case... I just knocked 3 months off my life so what does it matter if I gain a pound???
So, I started a new job a couple weeks ago... back to being a Geek. Happy with that... I like being the SME... "Where's the SME?" RIGHT HERE!!! Anyhoo, I've got a little commute of about 18 miles each way, across the Courtney Campbell Causeway (nice little bridge with Pelicans, dolphins, etc... cool scenery) and there are a couple little things that bug me. Anyone that knows me knows that it's always the stupid little things that get under my skin. I don't sweat it, it just irks me and I wanna smack someone with my brass knuckles.
I am not a speed freak... BUT, if the posted speed limit is 60 MPH, get yer ass to at least 60, right? Am I wrong to expect that someone might actually attempt to get close to the posted limit? Sure, plenty of folks are gonna blast past you at 80, but the ones that bug me the most are the ones that will roll along at 52, or worse yet... the ones that will go 65 one minute, 54 the next, back up to 60, then down to 49... It's frikkin 2008 fer cryin' out loud! EVERY car on the planet comes equipped with Cruise Control. Do we need training on how to set your vehicle at the speed limit and just stay there??? I mean I do my fair share of watching Pelican's plunge into the bay and come up with dinner, but I do it with the cruise control set at 64. WTF!?!?!? is wrong with people???
Other than that, life is good again. The economy sucks ass and I don't care. hmmmm... kinda reminds me of Jimmy Crackin' Corn...
So, I had some friends that were after my opinion on whether the Bears would be able to beat the Bucs this weekend in Chicago. Of course, I am wearing my Bears boxers, Walter Payton jersey, and have my hair dyed orange and blue while watching the game. Naturally I wanted the Bears to win, but I told everyone to put their picks on the Bucs. No clue who was favored or what the line was... wrong kinda gambling for me these days. Some folks thought I was nuts... NVTS, nuts...
Anyhoo, so the Bears proved their ineptitude once again. Forget the fact that they played a great game for the first 50 minutes. Well, except for that one little part about greeting Brian Griese. I think he was a little miffed afterwards that no one came to say "Hello!". He probably wore the same jersey the entire game as there wasn't a grass stain to be seen on it until about 10 minutes to go in the game.
Bottom line, no surprise we lost the game. I cried... I laughed... I wept... I got over it...
Alrighty then... time to get back to work I think. Earn a living... glad I could spend 5 minutes with my peeps. ;-)
Peace out...
heitz
Seriously, why bother with a Diet Coke in this case... I just knocked 3 months off my life so what does it matter if I gain a pound???
So, I started a new job a couple weeks ago... back to being a Geek. Happy with that... I like being the SME... "Where's the SME?" RIGHT HERE!!! Anyhoo, I've got a little commute of about 18 miles each way, across the Courtney Campbell Causeway (nice little bridge with Pelicans, dolphins, etc... cool scenery) and there are a couple little things that bug me. Anyone that knows me knows that it's always the stupid little things that get under my skin. I don't sweat it, it just irks me and I wanna smack someone with my brass knuckles.
I am not a speed freak... BUT, if the posted speed limit is 60 MPH, get yer ass to at least 60, right? Am I wrong to expect that someone might actually attempt to get close to the posted limit? Sure, plenty of folks are gonna blast past you at 80, but the ones that bug me the most are the ones that will roll along at 52, or worse yet... the ones that will go 65 one minute, 54 the next, back up to 60, then down to 49... It's frikkin 2008 fer cryin' out loud! EVERY car on the planet comes equipped with Cruise Control. Do we need training on how to set your vehicle at the speed limit and just stay there??? I mean I do my fair share of watching Pelican's plunge into the bay and come up with dinner, but I do it with the cruise control set at 64. WTF!?!?!? is wrong with people???
Other than that, life is good again. The economy sucks ass and I don't care. hmmmm... kinda reminds me of Jimmy Crackin' Corn...
So, I had some friends that were after my opinion on whether the Bears would be able to beat the Bucs this weekend in Chicago. Of course, I am wearing my Bears boxers, Walter Payton jersey, and have my hair dyed orange and blue while watching the game. Naturally I wanted the Bears to win, but I told everyone to put their picks on the Bucs. No clue who was favored or what the line was... wrong kinda gambling for me these days. Some folks thought I was nuts... NVTS, nuts...
Anyhoo, so the Bears proved their ineptitude once again. Forget the fact that they played a great game for the first 50 minutes. Well, except for that one little part about greeting Brian Griese. I think he was a little miffed afterwards that no one came to say "Hello!". He probably wore the same jersey the entire game as there wasn't a grass stain to be seen on it until about 10 minutes to go in the game.
Bottom line, no surprise we lost the game. I cried... I laughed... I wept... I got over it...
Alrighty then... time to get back to work I think. Earn a living... glad I could spend 5 minutes with my peeps. ;-)
Peace out...
heitz
Friday, August 29, 2008
DNC & Stuff
OK, so I admit, I didn't watch much of the Democratic National Convention. Hell, I had other stuff to do... I yelled at my Xbox, played some guitar, read some of Alan Greenspan's book... ya know, stuff like that. I did tune in last night for Barack Obama's acceptance speech; I sure as heck wasn't going to miss that!
Anyone who has read my blog over the past year knows I am an Obama fan. I get it... I know where he has done most of his work prior to entering the public sector. I grew up maybe 5-10 minutes from some of the worst neighborhoods that he was trying to help clean up on the South Side of Chicago.
the only thing that bothered me about his acceptance speech was the grandstanding... now, I know it's politics so it is to be expected. But at the same time, let's temper the over-reaching promises and at least SOUND a little realistic. Now, I am not a budget analyst for the US Government so I guess maybe there is enough that can be done in order to ensure he can "cut taxes for 95% of working class Americans"... I don't know how well the "closing of the loopholes" will be received by corporate America either. Hell, they killed the African-American President on the TV show "24" for less than that!
The one thing I thought was VERY powerful, and wasn't even aware of it until he said it... yesterday was the 45th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech. How amazing is the timing that we have our first African-American Presidential nominee accepting the nomination 45 years to the day after that speech??? WOW! All I can say...
OK, enough of that... the other thing that bugs me big-time this morning...
Seriously... David Duchovny... any woman, under sodium pentathol, if asked truthfully if this guy is attractive would laugh until she had a nosebleed and then say "NO! But he's an actor!!!" So, the headline on CNN.com saying he is going to rehab for sexual addiction?!?!?! Jeezus frikkin Cheeerist!!! Really, I don't get it... At least I reserve my Hollywood list to truly attractive women: Jessica Biel, Jennifer Aniston, Scarlett Johansson (sp?)... I may as well just add Ugly Betty to the list.. wait, she actually is a damn attractive woman... ok, Cathy Bates! How about Glenn Close... seriously, I don't get her being casted in Fatal Attraction... she's absolutely gross! I just read a blog from 2005 (wow, missed that one) where someone said she is always told she looks like either Rachel Weisz or Robin Tunney... she then says neither would be considered the "hot chick". Seriously, honey, just reply to my blog if you are still out there and still look that good!!! ;)
Peace out...
Heitz
Anyone who has read my blog over the past year knows I am an Obama fan. I get it... I know where he has done most of his work prior to entering the public sector. I grew up maybe 5-10 minutes from some of the worst neighborhoods that he was trying to help clean up on the South Side of Chicago.
the only thing that bothered me about his acceptance speech was the grandstanding... now, I know it's politics so it is to be expected. But at the same time, let's temper the over-reaching promises and at least SOUND a little realistic. Now, I am not a budget analyst for the US Government so I guess maybe there is enough that can be done in order to ensure he can "cut taxes for 95% of working class Americans"... I don't know how well the "closing of the loopholes" will be received by corporate America either. Hell, they killed the African-American President on the TV show "24" for less than that!
The one thing I thought was VERY powerful, and wasn't even aware of it until he said it... yesterday was the 45th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech. How amazing is the timing that we have our first African-American Presidential nominee accepting the nomination 45 years to the day after that speech??? WOW! All I can say...
OK, enough of that... the other thing that bugs me big-time this morning...
Seriously... David Duchovny... any woman, under sodium pentathol, if asked truthfully if this guy is attractive would laugh until she had a nosebleed and then say "NO! But he's an actor!!!" So, the headline on CNN.com saying he is going to rehab for sexual addiction?!?!?! Jeezus frikkin Cheeerist!!! Really, I don't get it... At least I reserve my Hollywood list to truly attractive women: Jessica Biel, Jennifer Aniston, Scarlett Johansson (sp?)... I may as well just add Ugly Betty to the list.. wait, she actually is a damn attractive woman... ok, Cathy Bates! How about Glenn Close... seriously, I don't get her being casted in Fatal Attraction... she's absolutely gross! I just read a blog from 2005 (wow, missed that one) where someone said she is always told she looks like either Rachel Weisz or Robin Tunney... she then says neither would be considered the "hot chick". Seriously, honey, just reply to my blog if you are still out there and still look that good!!! ;)
Peace out...
Heitz
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Put it to rest
OK, so the rednecks (or are they Hillbillies???) in Georgia finally were caught in their lie. The Bigfoot in the freezer was actually a rubber gorilla suit. Go figure...
So, I did a little research of my own and have come up with proof not only of the existence of Bigfoot (and thus also the Yeti) but also the Lochness Monster!!! (Of course, don't forget about Champ up in Vermont)...
Now, these images may disturb many of you... I don't relish the fact that I am the one bringing this evidence to light. But hey, when in Rome, right? (I realize that makes no sense whatsoever, that's why I said it... ok, so I typed it... maybe I am sitting here dictating to myself... could happen...)
And how is it that a chump like me finds proof of both in one day??? Well, apparently I am as extraordinary as mom always though. ;) A little elbow grease, a little hooliganism, and a lot of digging where the sun don't shine... errrr... ok, that didn't sound quite right, did it?
ok... here goes...
Now, my first question was, "since when did plesiosaurs become 'fire breathing'???" And how the hell did Bigfoot domesticate a plesiosaur??? I mean, that's just downright preposterous!
I go back to a previous statement I made... show me God... there ya have it. If a plesiosaur can be domesticated and breather fire, that's at least as plausible as an omniscient super deity, isn't it?
OK, maybe not... BUT, tell me then how to explain away a Bigfoot apparently commuting to the office on the back of the Loch Ness Monster!!!
You can't explain it, can you!?!?!? I didn't think so!!!
Well, I am just about through with my soap box. A picture is worth a thousand words right... I'd like to see what the so called experts think of MY evidence...
ok, maybe not....
peace out...
Heitz
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Phelps & Bears Quarterback
OK, so I just saw an interview with Michael Phelps (8 Gold medals in this years Olympics) being queried by Jeremy Schaap. I'm just curious... could we find someone without a speech impediment to run that interview?
Alright, just kidding... I'm just jealous that I'll never win an Olympic medal (let alon 16 already for this guy!!!) and I'll never be on ESPN... sour grapes... :)
But what I am really concerned with this morning is the Chicago Bears have named their starting Quarterback for the upcoming season! And unfortunately, Michael Phelps was unavailable. I'm sure he would have been a very viable option, but no dice.
So Kyle Orton, the guy who looks like an Amish cast-off is the guy who gets the nod. It's a sad state of affairs when our choices are Orton, Grossman, and a guy who's name is eerily similar to Heinie. Of course, the offensive coordinatr is off the hook now. He can go back to calling running plays and maybe we'll get somewhere this season. My guess is, we'll be drafting yet another quarterback in 2009.
So, Hurricane Fay turned into a whimpering Tropical Storm when it made landfall last night. Of course, I gotta hold off on calling her a total pansy as she is forecasted to hang around for the next few days before making a u-turn and coming back over the state. No kidding, the weather reports are predicting the storm will go across the state, then make a u-trun and come back across the state!
Still, it's not like the Chicago winters. I'll take a storm like this every couple years over the sub-zero temperatures and blizzards that ALWAYS hit Chicago in the winter.
Alright, time to send out some resumes. The whole city is shut down for the storm. YAY!
Heitz
Alright, just kidding... I'm just jealous that I'll never win an Olympic medal (let alon 16 already for this guy!!!) and I'll never be on ESPN... sour grapes... :)
But what I am really concerned with this morning is the Chicago Bears have named their starting Quarterback for the upcoming season! And unfortunately, Michael Phelps was unavailable. I'm sure he would have been a very viable option, but no dice.
So Kyle Orton, the guy who looks like an Amish cast-off is the guy who gets the nod. It's a sad state of affairs when our choices are Orton, Grossman, and a guy who's name is eerily similar to Heinie. Of course, the offensive coordinatr is off the hook now. He can go back to calling running plays and maybe we'll get somewhere this season. My guess is, we'll be drafting yet another quarterback in 2009.
So, Hurricane Fay turned into a whimpering Tropical Storm when it made landfall last night. Of course, I gotta hold off on calling her a total pansy as she is forecasted to hang around for the next few days before making a u-turn and coming back over the state. No kidding, the weather reports are predicting the storm will go across the state, then make a u-trun and come back across the state!
Still, it's not like the Chicago winters. I'll take a storm like this every couple years over the sub-zero temperatures and blizzards that ALWAYS hit Chicago in the winter.
Alright, time to send out some resumes. The whole city is shut down for the storm. YAY!
Heitz
Monday, August 18, 2008
Bigfoot
OK, so I guess it is time I chimed in on the whole Bigfoot thing going on up in Georgia... First off, let me say that I am a big fan. Having large feet myself (NOT covered in hair, thank you) I know what that poor creature must feel like. Well, alright, I am NOT stuffed in a cooler in Atlanta right now so I guess i don't REALLY know what he (she?) feels like.
But seriously... between Bigfoot, Nessie, Area 51... all that good stuff... I think the world is a better place for having them than not. OK, so we can't actually prove they exist (someone please point out God to me... didn't think so) but since when was that a prerequisite to believing in something? How many of us still keep the light on in the closet to keep the Boogeyman away? (putting my hand down now...)
As for these good ol' boys in Georgia... well, there is some skepticism because one of them apparently was involved in some Bigfoot shenanigans a few years ago. Kinda goes with that old boy who cries wolf story, right? So, no clue where this one will end up but a big hairy dude in a meat freezer is a step in the right direction, ain't it?
Of course, trying to prove something does not exist is almost as pointless as proving it does. I usually tell skeptics to just keep their mouths shut. I'm sure if there is some master plan, we'll all find out when we are good and ready!
In other news... two weeks and counting on the unemployment front. Got a job at a good company that was emailed to me this morning... of course the money is so low I'd get my truck repossessed and get evicted from my apartment. BUT, it pays more than unemployment compensation so maybe it's worth a shot, right? Seriously, I haven't made that little since 1994!!! Ugh... what to do???
Alright, back to work... gotta get some stuff done today before Hurricane Fay shows up tomorrow. Ha... Hurricane Fay... what a lame ass name.
Peace out
Heitz
But seriously... between Bigfoot, Nessie, Area 51... all that good stuff... I think the world is a better place for having them than not. OK, so we can't actually prove they exist (someone please point out God to me... didn't think so) but since when was that a prerequisite to believing in something? How many of us still keep the light on in the closet to keep the Boogeyman away? (putting my hand down now...)
As for these good ol' boys in Georgia... well, there is some skepticism because one of them apparently was involved in some Bigfoot shenanigans a few years ago. Kinda goes with that old boy who cries wolf story, right? So, no clue where this one will end up but a big hairy dude in a meat freezer is a step in the right direction, ain't it?
Of course, trying to prove something does not exist is almost as pointless as proving it does. I usually tell skeptics to just keep their mouths shut. I'm sure if there is some master plan, we'll all find out when we are good and ready!
In other news... two weeks and counting on the unemployment front. Got a job at a good company that was emailed to me this morning... of course the money is so low I'd get my truck repossessed and get evicted from my apartment. BUT, it pays more than unemployment compensation so maybe it's worth a shot, right? Seriously, I haven't made that little since 1994!!! Ugh... what to do???
Alright, back to work... gotta get some stuff done today before Hurricane Fay shows up tomorrow. Ha... Hurricane Fay... what a lame ass name.
Peace out
Heitz
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Blog 4 da unemployed
2 weeks and counting, folks!
By my estimation, over the past 2 weeks I have:
*sent out 50 resumes (and have had resumes forward to probably close to 150 companies through peers and networking)
*have drank 15 pots of coffee... mmmmm, Folgers crystals...
*spent about 10 hours at Starbuck's brushing up my technical knowledge (add to that probably about another 15 hours here at home)
*have realized that Madden '09 is da bomb... still can't run the ball for shyt but it rocks
*killed at least 50 cops and gang bangers in GTA IV
*busted out about 5 hours worth of power chords on my Les Paul & SG
*killed my Blackberry
*actually read some Playboy articles
*volunteered at an event for Tampa Bay Technology Forum (YAY, me!)
*and except for when I have gone on a few interviews, have worn shorts and flip-flops 24/7
Other than the lack of an income right now, I would say unemployment friggin' rocks! (fist raised in salute to the rest of us unemployed)
The good news is, I got friends in low places... errr... I mean I got contacts. Will be employed sooner rather than later and then I can actually afford to take out all these ladies I am meeting on eHarmony!!!
What's that you say??? eHarmony? Yeah, time to find a woman that won't drain the ol' bank account and leave me high & dry. I feel like a bad Jerry Springer show... or good Jerry Springer show, depending on your education level and number of remaining teeth. ;)
Also, been reading A LOT! Love to read... shoulda been a librarian... filling that big brain of mine with stuff.
that's about all I got for right now... more to come...
Heitz
By my estimation, over the past 2 weeks I have:
*sent out 50 resumes (and have had resumes forward to probably close to 150 companies through peers and networking)
*have drank 15 pots of coffee... mmmmm, Folgers crystals...
*spent about 10 hours at Starbuck's brushing up my technical knowledge (add to that probably about another 15 hours here at home)
*have realized that Madden '09 is da bomb... still can't run the ball for shyt but it rocks
*killed at least 50 cops and gang bangers in GTA IV
*busted out about 5 hours worth of power chords on my Les Paul & SG
*killed my Blackberry
*actually read some Playboy articles
*volunteered at an event for Tampa Bay Technology Forum (YAY, me!)
*and except for when I have gone on a few interviews, have worn shorts and flip-flops 24/7
Other than the lack of an income right now, I would say unemployment friggin' rocks! (fist raised in salute to the rest of us unemployed)
The good news is, I got friends in low places... errr... I mean I got contacts. Will be employed sooner rather than later and then I can actually afford to take out all these ladies I am meeting on eHarmony!!!
What's that you say??? eHarmony? Yeah, time to find a woman that won't drain the ol' bank account and leave me high & dry. I feel like a bad Jerry Springer show... or good Jerry Springer show, depending on your education level and number of remaining teeth. ;)
Also, been reading A LOT! Love to read... shoulda been a librarian... filling that big brain of mine with stuff.
that's about all I got for right now... more to come...
Heitz
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
What's this?
A Tuesday morning blog from Heitz??? Something must be wrong!!!
Actually, things are feeling pretty all-right today... I've gotten some of the best sleep over the past few days than I have in the previous 18 months. I am once again sans employment!!!
No big whup I say... been there, done that, unfortunately could not afford the t-shirt.
I was told there were a lot of nasty blogs out there regarding the company I just left - they shall remain nameless for now. All I can say is I have zero regrets. I busted my hump for 9 months, got my best friend a job with an NFL franchise (hmmmm, could be something there for me, maybe???), and learned a few things about myself and the job market here in the Tampa area.
First, I LOVE technology and that is where my passion lies - between technology and teaching folks the right way to use it. I am heading back to IT so wish me luck, folks!
Second, I did not go back to IT last year after the disastrous campaign of closing mortgage companies because I lacked confidence in my technical abilities. I had been away from IT for a couple years so it's natural to feel rusty, I guess. Turns out, I am probably stronger technically than most of the available candidates in the area and I sure as hell provide better customer service!
Anyhoo, my minds made up...
Couple things I noticed over the past few days...
I never really thought about it, but I wonder how much pain a cockroach goes through when you nail it with a blast of RAID... I mean, they frikkin jump like they are being hit with 100,000 watts or something!!! I bet there is some info online about what that stuff is doing to their insides, but I guess I really don't need the details. I mean, other than a size 13 slamming own on them that's the only shit that kills them, right??? Survive a nuclear explosion, but a shot of RAID and their done for. Crazy...
The other thing I was thinking about was "what is really in the briefcase in the movie Pulp Fiction"??? So many theories on the Internet but frikkin' the only people that really know (Samuel L Jackson, John Travolta, Quentin Tarantino) AIN'T talkin'. someone once told me they thought it was the soul of Ving Rhames' character. Not sure that is true as Tim Roth says upon seeing it, "is that what I think it is?" - how the hell would he know what a soul looks like?
Anyways... time to get a few more resumes out before I hit the books. Working on brushing up the knowledge level so putting in my time.
Peace out
Heitz
Actually, things are feeling pretty all-right today... I've gotten some of the best sleep over the past few days than I have in the previous 18 months. I am once again sans employment!!!
No big whup I say... been there, done that, unfortunately could not afford the t-shirt.
I was told there were a lot of nasty blogs out there regarding the company I just left - they shall remain nameless for now. All I can say is I have zero regrets. I busted my hump for 9 months, got my best friend a job with an NFL franchise (hmmmm, could be something there for me, maybe???), and learned a few things about myself and the job market here in the Tampa area.
First, I LOVE technology and that is where my passion lies - between technology and teaching folks the right way to use it. I am heading back to IT so wish me luck, folks!
Second, I did not go back to IT last year after the disastrous campaign of closing mortgage companies because I lacked confidence in my technical abilities. I had been away from IT for a couple years so it's natural to feel rusty, I guess. Turns out, I am probably stronger technically than most of the available candidates in the area and I sure as hell provide better customer service!
Anyhoo, my minds made up...
Couple things I noticed over the past few days...
I never really thought about it, but I wonder how much pain a cockroach goes through when you nail it with a blast of RAID... I mean, they frikkin jump like they are being hit with 100,000 watts or something!!! I bet there is some info online about what that stuff is doing to their insides, but I guess I really don't need the details. I mean, other than a size 13 slamming own on them that's the only shit that kills them, right??? Survive a nuclear explosion, but a shot of RAID and their done for. Crazy...
The other thing I was thinking about was "what is really in the briefcase in the movie Pulp Fiction"??? So many theories on the Internet but frikkin' the only people that really know (Samuel L Jackson, John Travolta, Quentin Tarantino) AIN'T talkin'. someone once told me they thought it was the soul of Ving Rhames' character. Not sure that is true as Tim Roth says upon seeing it, "is that what I think it is?" - how the hell would he know what a soul looks like?
Anyways... time to get a few more resumes out before I hit the books. Working on brushing up the knowledge level so putting in my time.
Peace out
Heitz
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Like Riding a bike
Just curious...
We all know that the best way to kill a zombie is to shoot it in the head, right? OR... alternatively, one could bash the head in with some sort of blunt object.
So, why is it in all Zombie movies, it takes the locals a good hour of shooting zombies before they realize you need to put one between the eyes? Not that I mind that Milla Jovovich has to come save the day... I should be so lucky as to have zombies after me so that she could come save me! ;)
Kinda makes me wonder about peeps that can't see the forest for all the damn trees sometimes... or when they just lack some damn common sense...
Point in case...
Those damn Viagra commercials. Now don't get me wrong, I am all about being able to enjoy some time with whoever the lady for the weekend may be. But, the most recent commercial they have out is just mental. 8 dudes in a recording studio at like 1am singing about "Viva Viagra!". How do we know it was after 1 O'clock in the morning? Because the commercial told us so. Why is that important??? It only begs the question... if all these dudes are popping Viagra, then what the hell are they doing sitting around with a bunch of other dudes in the middle of the night for? Seriously, get yer priorities straight fellas! Hell, even getting yourself a Craigslist girlfriend for an hour is better than sitting there with all them guys!
200 Roses anyone?
Anyhoo... been a while since I wrote anything... guess I should get cracking on watching these zombies get their asses handed to them by my girl Milla.
Peace out
Heitz
We all know that the best way to kill a zombie is to shoot it in the head, right? OR... alternatively, one could bash the head in with some sort of blunt object.
So, why is it in all Zombie movies, it takes the locals a good hour of shooting zombies before they realize you need to put one between the eyes? Not that I mind that Milla Jovovich has to come save the day... I should be so lucky as to have zombies after me so that she could come save me! ;)
Kinda makes me wonder about peeps that can't see the forest for all the damn trees sometimes... or when they just lack some damn common sense...
Point in case...
Those damn Viagra commercials. Now don't get me wrong, I am all about being able to enjoy some time with whoever the lady for the weekend may be. But, the most recent commercial they have out is just mental. 8 dudes in a recording studio at like 1am singing about "Viva Viagra!". How do we know it was after 1 O'clock in the morning? Because the commercial told us so. Why is that important??? It only begs the question... if all these dudes are popping Viagra, then what the hell are they doing sitting around with a bunch of other dudes in the middle of the night for? Seriously, get yer priorities straight fellas! Hell, even getting yourself a Craigslist girlfriend for an hour is better than sitting there with all them guys!
200 Roses anyone?
Anyhoo... been a while since I wrote anything... guess I should get cracking on watching these zombies get their asses handed to them by my girl Milla.
Peace out
Heitz
Sunday, March 16, 2008
A real head scratcher
Alright, I got issues...
Now, I probably watch more kung-fu movies than is healthy for a 38 year old male, but going back to my childhood when my brothers and I would watch "samurai Sunday" and any other crazy shit that was on TV on the weekends (I consider the Little Rascals and the Three Stooges to be the American version of the kung-fu and samurai movies... without the drama... and without the sub-titles...). I think that's why I dig Asian women... I'd see these kung-fu chicks and think to myself, "How can I compete with that?!?! She's got guys with swords and shit and SHE could probably kick my ass too!!!"
So, I see this headline on CNN.com about the "genocide" going on in Tibet and the Dalai Lama talking about the heritage of his people and how it's about to all be wiped out. Here's an idea for you Dalai... (or is it Lama? no clue...) take your Monk army and invade China!!!
Seriously, all those monks flying from tree to tree with their swords and oaken staves; throwing stars and kung-fu magic!!! COME ON!!! Am I the only one waiting for this to happen??? I mean, if they can deflect bullets with a sword back in the 1500's, why not cast a wall of deflection at the cruise missiles the Chinese would surely send at them. It's a frikkin NO-BRAINER!!!
Anyways, the pictures I saw had all these monks on a street and NONE of them was fighting!!! WTF??? Sorry, but if the Secret Police showed up at my crib and tried to make me disappear, I am not going without a fight! I just figured these guys would do the same. Especially with all that high powered kung-fu mastery they have up in the Tibetan mountains.
Maybe the Dalai Lama will come back, lead his army into Beijing, and then they can have the Olympics there. How crazy would that be trying to compete against a bunch of kung-fu masters in things like the discus and javelin? Just when you thought you had a good toss, one of them leaps from a nearby tree, catching the javelin in his mouth and sends it right back at you...
seriously, that would be unfair...
Other than that, things are good. I am drinking loads of coffee these days. I probably work more than is healthy, but good times are coming.
Ever had this thought???
Who ever devised public restrooms???
Seriously... except for a half-inch thick partition, I am basically sitting cheek to cheek (get it?) with a potential stranger dropping the kids off at the pool. Don't even get started on the rules of eye contact, conversation ('This is where all the big dicks hang out!!!'), hand holding, hand washing, etc... When man first started relieving himself behind closed doors, who was it that said...
"We ain't civilized unless there's a second shitter right next to ya!!!"
I'd be curious to find out who might have ever had a conversation with the guy in the next stall. What would you talk about? "How are the kids?"... "What's the weekend plan?"
Now don't get me wrong, I understand the logistics of a few thousand people in a building having to all take care of bidness. But, seriously... I also want to talk to the first person that decided to cook an animal. How was that decision made? How'd they pick out a pig instead of say a sabre tooth tiger as their first meal?
I'm guessing there was a lot of trial and error when figuring out which animals fight back. Either way, I really want to thank them...
bacon tastes good...
pork chops taste good...
not so sure about the sewer rat, but it looks like easy prey...
Peace out...
Heitz
Now, I probably watch more kung-fu movies than is healthy for a 38 year old male, but going back to my childhood when my brothers and I would watch "samurai Sunday" and any other crazy shit that was on TV on the weekends (I consider the Little Rascals and the Three Stooges to be the American version of the kung-fu and samurai movies... without the drama... and without the sub-titles...). I think that's why I dig Asian women... I'd see these kung-fu chicks and think to myself, "How can I compete with that?!?! She's got guys with swords and shit and SHE could probably kick my ass too!!!"
So, I see this headline on CNN.com about the "genocide" going on in Tibet and the Dalai Lama talking about the heritage of his people and how it's about to all be wiped out. Here's an idea for you Dalai... (or is it Lama? no clue...) take your Monk army and invade China!!!
Seriously, all those monks flying from tree to tree with their swords and oaken staves; throwing stars and kung-fu magic!!! COME ON!!! Am I the only one waiting for this to happen??? I mean, if they can deflect bullets with a sword back in the 1500's, why not cast a wall of deflection at the cruise missiles the Chinese would surely send at them. It's a frikkin NO-BRAINER!!!
Anyways, the pictures I saw had all these monks on a street and NONE of them was fighting!!! WTF??? Sorry, but if the Secret Police showed up at my crib and tried to make me disappear, I am not going without a fight! I just figured these guys would do the same. Especially with all that high powered kung-fu mastery they have up in the Tibetan mountains.
Maybe the Dalai Lama will come back, lead his army into Beijing, and then they can have the Olympics there. How crazy would that be trying to compete against a bunch of kung-fu masters in things like the discus and javelin? Just when you thought you had a good toss, one of them leaps from a nearby tree, catching the javelin in his mouth and sends it right back at you...
seriously, that would be unfair...
Other than that, things are good. I am drinking loads of coffee these days. I probably work more than is healthy, but good times are coming.
Ever had this thought???
Who ever devised public restrooms???
Seriously... except for a half-inch thick partition, I am basically sitting cheek to cheek (get it?) with a potential stranger dropping the kids off at the pool. Don't even get started on the rules of eye contact, conversation ('This is where all the big dicks hang out!!!'), hand holding, hand washing, etc... When man first started relieving himself behind closed doors, who was it that said...
"We ain't civilized unless there's a second shitter right next to ya!!!"
I'd be curious to find out who might have ever had a conversation with the guy in the next stall. What would you talk about? "How are the kids?"... "What's the weekend plan?"
Now don't get me wrong, I understand the logistics of a few thousand people in a building having to all take care of bidness. But, seriously... I also want to talk to the first person that decided to cook an animal. How was that decision made? How'd they pick out a pig instead of say a sabre tooth tiger as their first meal?
I'm guessing there was a lot of trial and error when figuring out which animals fight back. Either way, I really want to thank them...
bacon tastes good...
pork chops taste good...
not so sure about the sewer rat, but it looks like easy prey...
Peace out...
Heitz
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
I am frikkin Oblivious
That's right... I may as well change my name to Oblivious Johnson... or some other ridiculous name... Two big headlines, and I am in my own little world, working like a bitch.
'Equipment failure' cuts power in Florida
No shit... apparently while I was printing off some dollar bills, power went out all across the entire state of Florida. Did it hit my office? Of course not... But when I got home, I got a voicemail from the power company...
"We are aware that your home was without power... please contact us if your power is still out..."
A. Like I would have gotten that message if my power was still out
B. If the power was still out I'm sure it'd be like Tampa just won an NBA championship and I'd be out "acquiring" a new fat screen TV.
Neeless to say, all is well... my juice is flowing.
Coffee break for Starbucks' 135,000 baristas
Coffee chain to close all 7,100 stores for employee training. Dunkin' Donuts offers 99 cent promotion.
Now, I probably drink more Starbucks than is healthy for me. But I had NO CLUE that my fix would be out of service this afternoon for 3 hours! Good thing I mostly hit the sauce in the AM, huh? I would probably feel bad for the poor chumps that work nights and need that cup of coffee just to make it through to 10pm, but whatever... not my problem.
Of course, the other little side item that is almost like finding a pimple on a hippo... Starbucks recently laid off 600 people? WTF??? Maybe they got rid of all the assholes that don't understand "Yes, I would like room for cream." Seriously, how hard is that?
Of course compared to the Great Sub-Prime Mortgage Tsunami I survived in 2007, 600 lay-offs is like they just wen to recess or something. I'm sure they'll all be back with tans.
Peace out...
Heitz
'Equipment failure' cuts power in Florida
No shit... apparently while I was printing off some dollar bills, power went out all across the entire state of Florida. Did it hit my office? Of course not... But when I got home, I got a voicemail from the power company...
"We are aware that your home was without power... please contact us if your power is still out..."
A. Like I would have gotten that message if my power was still out
B. If the power was still out I'm sure it'd be like Tampa just won an NBA championship and I'd be out "acquiring" a new fat screen TV.
Neeless to say, all is well... my juice is flowing.
Coffee break for Starbucks' 135,000 baristas
Coffee chain to close all 7,100 stores for employee training. Dunkin' Donuts offers 99 cent promotion.
Now, I probably drink more Starbucks than is healthy for me. But I had NO CLUE that my fix would be out of service this afternoon for 3 hours! Good thing I mostly hit the sauce in the AM, huh? I would probably feel bad for the poor chumps that work nights and need that cup of coffee just to make it through to 10pm, but whatever... not my problem.
Of course, the other little side item that is almost like finding a pimple on a hippo... Starbucks recently laid off 600 people? WTF??? Maybe they got rid of all the assholes that don't understand "Yes, I would like room for cream." Seriously, how hard is that?
Of course compared to the Great Sub-Prime Mortgage Tsunami I survived in 2007, 600 lay-offs is like they just wen to recess or something. I'm sure they'll all be back with tans.
Peace out...
Heitz
Saturday, February 2, 2008
seriously, wtf?
Am I like the only one this happens to?
The building I work in is pretty much on lock down mode on the weekends. You need a key card to just get in the building and there is a special, top-secret code to access the elevators. Now, I am not REAL good at remembering number sequences so I kept the email with the code in my briefcase.
I saw the paper in my bag the other day, so i know it was there. This morning, nowhere to be found. So, I'm wondering a coupole things:
1. When did I remove it from the bag?
2. Why the fuck would I remove it from my bag?
I can only assume it's my sub-conscious fucking with me. I mean here I am, building a pretty decent amount of business, wanting to go in on a Saturday to take care of some administrative bs that just tends to slip away from me during the week. No harm in that right?
My sub-concious however cleary decided there was no flippin' way I was going to work today and made me remove that code from my bag. bastards...
So, my two choices are this... kick back and relax with some coffee and video games today; or I could call my division director who is probably relaxing with his wife and son, and ask him what the code is at like 8:30am on a Saturday morning.
OK, so I am not the fucking heartless.Instead, I decided it's time to write my first blog in two weeks. The pot of coffee is almost gone. Hmmm... what the hell else should I do today. It's way too early to crank up the amp and play some power chords... I'm sure my neighbors would LUV that... too early to go drinking...
what the hell do people do on Saturday mornings when they are not workaholics? I'm frikkin' lost over here...
Oh well, I guess I will make the most of it. I hear someone banging up and down the staris moving in... maybe I'll go see what they have I can borrow. :)
Peace out...
Heitz
The building I work in is pretty much on lock down mode on the weekends. You need a key card to just get in the building and there is a special, top-secret code to access the elevators. Now, I am not REAL good at remembering number sequences so I kept the email with the code in my briefcase.
I saw the paper in my bag the other day, so i know it was there. This morning, nowhere to be found. So, I'm wondering a coupole things:
1. When did I remove it from the bag?
2. Why the fuck would I remove it from my bag?
I can only assume it's my sub-conscious fucking with me. I mean here I am, building a pretty decent amount of business, wanting to go in on a Saturday to take care of some administrative bs that just tends to slip away from me during the week. No harm in that right?
My sub-concious however cleary decided there was no flippin' way I was going to work today and made me remove that code from my bag. bastards...
So, my two choices are this... kick back and relax with some coffee and video games today; or I could call my division director who is probably relaxing with his wife and son, and ask him what the code is at like 8:30am on a Saturday morning.
OK, so I am not the fucking heartless.Instead, I decided it's time to write my first blog in two weeks. The pot of coffee is almost gone. Hmmm... what the hell else should I do today. It's way too early to crank up the amp and play some power chords... I'm sure my neighbors would LUV that... too early to go drinking...
what the hell do people do on Saturday mornings when they are not workaholics? I'm frikkin' lost over here...
Oh well, I guess I will make the most of it. I hear someone banging up and down the staris moving in... maybe I'll go see what they have I can borrow. :)
Peace out...
Heitz
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
I'm a tired assed bitch...
What can I say? I am a flippin' workaholic...
Good news is, I am already the #1 sales producer for 2008 in the Eastern Region... bad... ass...
Seriously though, one thing that bugs the shit out of me in Tampa... and this is just one of many... is the traffic.
No lie...
Many of you may say, "WTF? Traffic? yer from Chicago!!!"
The deal is this... no public transportation... no alternate routes in many areas... slow ass dumbshits driving.
My favorite Florida driving move? The triple lane change from the right hand turn lane to the left hand turn lane while on the car and following the incorrect directions from your Tom Tom.
I fukkin love that one.
So the road that goes to my apartment complex... it's a 45 MPH limit along there. Not too shabby... except EVERY frikkin day I get behind some numb-nuts SOB that decides I should drive 10 MPH below the speed limit... so yesterday I said, "Fuck this..." I took what I thought might turn out to be a short cut to avoid the dumb beeotch in front of me... turns out, I got stuck in a 15 MPH school zone, couldn't turn left due to a steady stream of idiots dropping their kids off, finally went around a few blocks to get back towards the main road only to find out there was construction starting and it was all backed up like an infant who ate too much cheese.
Needless to say, my search for better living arrangements has gone into full swing. I am being sexually discriminated against in my current apartment, paying over $200 more than some women here (I don't blame them for not having a penis...) so it's time to find a better situation where I can like walk to work or something.
the only good news I have to report is the job is going very well and I am learning guitar. Or as they say in some areas of the south... "geee-tar". Pretty soon I will be a regular Caucasian Jimi Hendrix... except playing a Les Paul. I guess that would make me Jimmy Page... well, except he is like frikkin God so I really cannot hope to get to that level, right?
So, yeah, those are hte two positives I have right now. Who needs women when I have a good job and a guitar, right? I guess before I know it I'll be riding the Horse to Rock-Star-Ville...
Booyah...
Peace out...
heitz
Good news is, I am already the #1 sales producer for 2008 in the Eastern Region... bad... ass...
Seriously though, one thing that bugs the shit out of me in Tampa... and this is just one of many... is the traffic.
No lie...
Many of you may say, "WTF? Traffic? yer from Chicago!!!"
The deal is this... no public transportation... no alternate routes in many areas... slow ass dumbshits driving.
My favorite Florida driving move? The triple lane change from the right hand turn lane to the left hand turn lane while on the car and following the incorrect directions from your Tom Tom.
I fukkin love that one.
So the road that goes to my apartment complex... it's a 45 MPH limit along there. Not too shabby... except EVERY frikkin day I get behind some numb-nuts SOB that decides I should drive 10 MPH below the speed limit... so yesterday I said, "Fuck this..." I took what I thought might turn out to be a short cut to avoid the dumb beeotch in front of me... turns out, I got stuck in a 15 MPH school zone, couldn't turn left due to a steady stream of idiots dropping their kids off, finally went around a few blocks to get back towards the main road only to find out there was construction starting and it was all backed up like an infant who ate too much cheese.
Needless to say, my search for better living arrangements has gone into full swing. I am being sexually discriminated against in my current apartment, paying over $200 more than some women here (I don't blame them for not having a penis...) so it's time to find a better situation where I can like walk to work or something.
the only good news I have to report is the job is going very well and I am learning guitar. Or as they say in some areas of the south... "geee-tar". Pretty soon I will be a regular Caucasian Jimi Hendrix... except playing a Les Paul. I guess that would make me Jimmy Page... well, except he is like frikkin God so I really cannot hope to get to that level, right?
So, yeah, those are hte two positives I have right now. Who needs women when I have a good job and a guitar, right? I guess before I know it I'll be riding the Horse to Rock-Star-Ville...
Booyah...
Peace out...
heitz
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
New Years Thoughts
Watched a movie last night I hadn't seen in a while... remember the original "Species" movie where Natasha Henstridge wandered around naked and had sex with every guy she could find only to be killed by Michael Madsen at the end? Well, "Species II" was just as good!
yeah right... she spent only a little time naked, there were other naked chicks running round having their bellies explode with baby aliens shooting out of them...
The craziest thing about the movie was this... It was SOOOO racist!!!
There were 3 astronauts in outer space that brought this alien thing back. A white guy, white chick, and a black dude. Now, astronauts are pretty smart I guess (the white trash arrested for planning to kill her love triangle rival notwithstanding...) but the black dude in this flick was just a typical homey. Couldn't grasp the simplest concepts about how an alien came back to earth with them and was killing peeps...
The final justice... it was the black man's blood that killed the alien!!! No shit! Turns out he carried the sickle cell trait and that is what killed the alien. At the end, Michael Madsen slams a pitchfork into the black dudes leg to cover it with his blood then sticks the pitchfork into the alien which kills it.
I'm not sure where they come up with this crap but I'm pretty sure that me, a case of beer, and a free week would result in a better film.
Maybe just about as much nudity too.
OK... some random thoughts...
Thank GOD (or Jahweh, Jehovah, Allah, Buddah, or who-the-hell-ever) finally got that little girl on the Texas Instruments DLP commercials some speech lessons. I was going tho kill myself if I had to hear her tell some idiot that their picture is clear because "It's the MEERS" one more frikkin time... THANK YOU for learning how to pronounce MIRROR... bitch...
I'm convinced that being a Chicago Bears fan is bad for my health. Not only did the head coach, Lovie "Smooth as Silk" Smith announce that he really wants all 3 QB's back in the mix next year, but he has no intention of firing either coordinator that was in charge of ineptitude on both sides of the ball. I can feel my blood pressure rising and I have no football to even worry about until April when the draft happens. This sucks...
And finally, I'm taking my first guitar lessons soon... found an ad for a guy and it says "Learn To Shred"... shit yeah... who cares about playing classical shit... I wanna break strings and eardrums... fukkin A!!!
Now I just need to grow my hair...
peace out...
Heitz
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