More Common Sense

So, here we go again folks... the media trying to make something sound "newsworthy"... The headline reads:

Exercising in Polluted Air Can Increase Health Risks

Hmmmm... couldn't lead with "Swimming in Water Will Make You Wet"??? Maybe "Running Uphill is Harder Than Running Downhill" was already used???

So, what you are saying to me is, if I exercise in an area that is highly polluted, say with Diesel Exhaust as you point out, I may have an increased risk of health problems? How about if I do NOT exercise in those areas... maybe I just like to hang out there... ya know, sitting on a bus bench on a street corner watching the world go by? Will that help me reduce my health risks?

Here's a quote from a lung specialist at New York Presbyterian Hospital...

"We Now have evidence that being exposed to diesel fuel during exercise will cause cardiac ischemia and that if you have heart disease it will only make things worse"...

Seriously, I needed a specialist to tell me that inhaling diesel exhaust is bad for me? How did they get a group of test subjects for this? I'm guessing they just hit the NYU campus and asked 100 broke college students to job behind buses 5 days a week. That should do the trick...

Now, I wonder how much money the government siphoned from our tax dollars to help subsidize this study... Oh wait... the study was actually done in Europe? Well, that changes EVERYTHING!!! We all know Americans are the laziest, most obese people on the planet so a study regarding exercising in a cloud of diesel exhaust should have NO effect on us whatsoever!!!

WOW, and I was beginning to worry there for a moment... Thank God for being a lazy American...

The good news to tie into that article is that on the same page of the Tampa Trib is an article about the death rate in America. Apparently, the Grim Reaper was busy in 2005 after taking a vacation in 2004.

Wait a moment... why are we talking about 2005? Isn't that like, SO 2 years ago? I mean, I was probably still cuffing my jeans back then, fer chrissakes!

My favorite thing with articles that talk about statistical trends is how they always over-react to short term numbers. So the number of people that died in 2005 was UP 50,000 from the 2004 levels. Who cares? Seriously, who really gives a shit? Sure, it sucks when someone dies, but in the big scheme of things, what does it mean to look at one year to the next?

Well, unless of course you are talking about some epidemic or black plague or something along those lines... But in this case, I'm thinking they just ran out of ads for the day and had to print ANYTHING they could lay their paws on.

At any rate, I'm glad Mr. Death is back on the J.O.B.

And finally... I am revising my Middle East Strategy... Yes, you heard that right... of course, this is why I would make a horrible politician...

Well, that and I did inhale...

I can't just stand idly by and NOT react to the statements made by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad regarding his country's desire for "peace and friendship for all"... of course, when he went on to say that "Israel should not continue its life" and said it should be "wiped from the map" he pretty much solidified his position behind the well with the rest of the bozos. I guess if they DO have WMD's in Iran, they have a leg up on the competition in the hotly contested area I like to call:

"The Fun Zone"

Seriously... I say, instead of forgetting about all these folks while they are walled off and battling it out, we cover all the action live on ESPN-WAR. Of course, that station doesn't exist yet, but I know ABC is reading this so let's hop to it boys!

With satellite imagery, and strategically placed cameras, tell me this would not be a smash hit for television audiences... hell, it would be JUST like that Schwarzenegger flick "The Running Man"... wall them all off, and the last country standing wins a whole pile of prizes!!!

Here then is my revised map of the area... the walled off area is outlined in red... sorry, I never could color inside the lines so tracing is a big struggle.

Peace Out...

Heitz