Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday dear :-)!!!
Happy Birthday to you!!!!
WOO HOO!!! I'm getting the keg tapped! Getting the BBQ fired up... who cares that it is only 8:26am??? It's :-)'s Birthday for chrissake!!!
Seriously, where would we all be without :-)??? 25 years ago today, :-) entered our lives and has brought SUCH joy and happiness to us all!!! I personally have sent :-) on thousands of errands to spread joy around the world. I just hope everyone alwyas got my drift, ya know?So, I'm thinking, for a celebration today, I'll head to an internet cafe (i.e. Starbucks... who am I kidding???) and send an email to EVERYONE I KNOW (shit, that is a lot of emails...) telling them to sing Happy Birthday to :-)!!!
Now, don't go falling for any fakes out there... we are celebrating :-) today... NOT ;-), :-(, :->, or any of their fukkin friends...
No sir... today is all about :-) and what he/she means to us. I personally want to thank :-) for all the good stuff that has happened to me over the past 25 years. I feel that without :-), I would not have been able to share all that joy!
Hey wait a sec... shit... other than like losing my virginity (WOO HOO!) and going to a few Bears games, what exactly do I have to be so damn excited about? I've been laid off, down sized, under sized, super sized, been through industry collapses, Twin Tower collapses, and now I'm afraid to go to the damn beach without SPF 750!!!
Ya know what... to hell with it all... if you see :-), tell him to go f*&k himself alright... what the hell is he so damn happy about?
c*cksucker...
moving on...
What's with OJ Simpson? Does this guy just NOT get it? I mean, what was it, a decade ago or so, that we had race riots around the country after he was acquitted on a murder that pretty much EVERYONE (including most of my black friends) felt he was guilty as hell for?
I guess all the shit swirling around him again with the potential release of his book (which all the proceeds will go to his ex-wife's family), and just being broke as hell since any dime he makes cleaning windshields is seized by the courts, has driven the man insane!
Now, his story is that there were no guns involved... of course, any time the police (or the PO-PO, as we call them on the South Side) say there was a gun involved, yer damn skimpy they will be able to produce a gun. They got THOUSANDS of guns laying around, bro! He also says the items he went to the hotel to retrieve were stolen from him and the police did nothing.Now, any time I need to retrieve something (of course, the most retrieving my white ass does these days is retrieving the mail) and I am worried about protection, what do I do? Naturally I call up a mixed race group of thugs... allegedly 6 guys were with Simpson, and it was pointed out that they were both white and black. I like how they are at least showing that Simpson, while being a complete moron, is at least an equal opportunity moron.
So, naturally OJ Simpson is being charged with all sorts of felonies which could land him a life sentence... oh yeah, in case you missed that part, here it is again...
OJ Simpson could spend life in prison on these charges!!!
So, to be clear, here it is in a nutshell... OJ gets off on allegedly murdering his ex and her boyfriend a decade or so ago... he is now being charged with numerous felonies including kidnapping with a deadly weapon, and if convicted could face life in prison.
This is like winning the lotto after filing bankruptcy for the Police ain't it? They couldn't put him away on those murders but look at what he does next! Pretty soon, we'll find out from some forensic psychologist that OJ is actually a career criminal and he'll be charged with Aggravated Assault for all the times he ran someone over on a football field.
Take a deep breath my friends... there is Justice in the air!!!
Peace out...
Heitz
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