Friday!!! WOO HOO!!!

Hey guys & gals! It's frikkin Friday!!!

I decided to "go lazy" today and made a pot of coffee instead of rolling to Starbucks. I don't know why... It was definitely easier, that much is sure. Also, no newspaper means I don't have to try and wash all that ink off my hands.

So, today should be a fun day... writing a check to the IRS for the last of my 2006 Taxes due... ugh... that sends a shiver down my spine to have to send Uncle Sam another $900... Couldn't come at a worse time either. Aaaahhhhh well... like Uncle Sam cares about the worries of the little guy, right?

So, I figured this weekend would be a good time to do some things I have not done here in Florida. I've been here almost 4 years on the dot and I have yet to see a High School football game. I like about 2 blocks from Robinson High School (alma mater of Hulk Hogan!!! GRRRR!!!) and I think I'll go see the game tonight. Sadly, the Robinson Knights are 0-2 so far this season... fortunately, so are their opponents tonight! WOO HOO!!!

Now, Florida is almost as famous as Texas for having great High School football and I figure it's about time I checked out the action.

One issue I will have tonight though is this... I usually tend to drink alcohol when I am watching a football game. I doubt there is any booze allowed at a High School game so I'm thinking of kicking off the tailgating at my crib with a couple bratwurst on the grill and a 12 pack. THEN, I can appropriately enjoy the game!

Oh, and by the way... I AM FRIKKIN WINNER BABY!!! That's right! Me and the Lotto Jackpot are like THIS (imagine me having my index & middle fingers crossed... like real close like...)... That's right folks, I have hit the Lotto Jackpot! I can't wait to go collect my winnings... WOO HOO!!! Seriously, all those years of buying tickets have FINALLY paid off... I'm so overwhelmed right now... I'm a bit woozy, I think!!!

Now, I know what you all are thinking... "HOLY crap.... Mike sure is quite a catch now that he is a winner!!!"

Well, back off sister... I got plans for this cash... I got bills to pay, dammit! Hmmm... Now, I wonder how much I am actually going to get? Do they have to take taxes out, because like Uncle Sam has already gotten on my bad side this morning... bastard...

Let's see.... carry the one... here we go....

Hmmmmmm... what the F#*K???

OK... this can't be right... I'm a frikkin winner, fer cryin' out loud...

Matching 3 numbers pays $5??? Are you kidding me?

Shit...

I guess I can't quit my job... well, at least I'll have enough to get into the football game tonight.

Before I go today... I do have to talk about some REAL news, don't I? Did anyone else see the news yesterday with a manhunt going on for a cop killer down around Miami, FL? Holy crap that was messed up... guy was pulled over for driving erratically and the guy gets out of the vehicle with an assault rifle and opens fire, killing one of the police officers.

HOLY SHIT... What the hell do you think was going through the cops minds when they see this guy open up on them? That is some seriously crazy ass shit... but it gets better...

So, CNN.com and pretty much every media outlet jumps on the story and plaster the guys name and picture all over the place.

Only problem... it ain't the guy...

Turns out, Kevin Wehner had his identity stolen and came forward in Jacksonville, FL. The real culprit, Shawn Sherwin Labeet, was later tracked down and killed in another gun battle. But how many people saw Mr. Wehner's photo on the news and thought, "Holy Crap... this dickhead just killed a cop!!! What a loser! Get his ass!!!"

It ain't easy to focus your anger and attention on one enemy and then suddenly realize that ain't the guy. Kinda like when we were riding a high over WWII only to find out our "Comrades" the pinko Russkies were actually that much worse than the fucked up Nazis. I could probably find some parallels with Iraq, but that would be too damn easy...

But I think the real problem here is people that go on these killing rampages almost always have 3 names. Seriously... think about it...

John Wilkes Booth
John Wayne Gacy
Lee Harvey Oswald
Jack The Ripper
Shawn Sherwin Labeet
George W. Bush

I think people that walk around announcing themselves with more than 2 names need to rounded up and questioned. Seriously, how pompous are you that you need 3 names? I mean, I have 3 names, but I pretty much only use one, MAYBE two of them at any given time. Family calls me Mike (or Uncle Mike), friends call me Heitz. Pretty simple. Two syllables... can't be any easier.

I think until we can get a grip on these criminals that are using 3 names, the rest of us 2 name folks are faced with living in fear EVERY day...

Peace out...
Heitz