Don't get pulled over in W.VA.

No lie... this shyt is true -

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26877682/

As I pointed out on my Facebook profile the other day, West Virginia is pretty wacked out. this guy, pulled over for a DUI scooted his chair over and farted, waving the aromatic smells in the direction of the arresting officers. They slapped a Battery charge on him!!!

So, when I was a kid and my dad sat on my chest and tickled me and accidentally let one loose... I could had him hit with Assault & Battery, right??? I mean, shit man, I was ABUSED!!!

Needless to say, the only time I will spend in West Virginia is when my plane is flying over on my way somewhere less shitty.

Other fun headlines this week:

Clay "Yes He is Still in the News" Aiken... apparently some folks weren't aware of his gayness, so they had to announce on the news that YES he is in fact gay. I mean, forget the fact that he dresses way better than me, has great skin, and sings like really NON-manly songs (eg, AC/DC, Metallica, etc...). How else would we have figured it out??? I should ask some of my gay friends... they'd be like, "oh, hells yeah he's a fairy!" Not a very good kisser I'm guessing which is why he feels the need to advertise his homosexuality to those that might not have been aware. Must've burned too many bridges with his lack of ability so he's looking for some new hook-ups.

How about the $700,000,000,000 bailout President Bush and Congress are mulling over for the financial industry? Saw an interesting comment about taking that money and just giving it to the taxpayers... I like it... let's say there are 200,000,000 taxpayers (totally guessing there, may be more, may be less)... That would be $3,500 each!!! Ya know what I could do with $3,500??? How about paying off two credit cards that are about to jump to collection because I went from 6 figures to NO figures due to the crisis at hand??? Right off the bat we could help the people that need it most (us poor taxpayers!!!) and I'm sure the fact that people paying some of their bills would make this financial crisis look MUCH better... just a hunch...

Lindsay Lohan is gay??? Whatev... see same reasoning for Clay Aiken except she's hot. Who cares... all those Hollywood starlets are at the very least BI so who gives a shit if one says they are full-fledged gay? Like that makes me think she isn't hot anymore? Seriously, do the news feeds really need to fill my Inbox with this crap?

alrighty then...

time to get back to work... full weekend on tap so I gotta make a few biscuits in the basket before tomorrow!

peace out
heitz