Dang... I almost wish I had a dog so I could have thought of this!
This "artist" in Cape Girardeau, MO had her dog Monte chew up a batch of Mike Vick cards to list on eBay as "art". Well, check the link folks... she was hoping to raise awareness and maybe a cool hundred bucks or so to donate to the local animal shelter. The bidding is currently at $7300!!!I gotta say, this is looking like a frikkin masterpiece... I mean, this rivals anything Dali did... Picasso, van Goh, they can all take a back seat...
Funniest thing here is... if Vick had gone on to a Hall of Fame career and never got involved in dog fighting, his rookie card would never have been worth that much!
Holy shit! Seriously, I have a few Vick cards... I could flush them down the toilet, then retrieve them from the drain pipes, and sell them... how's that sound? Maybe I could stick them with a shank made from a toothbrush... (Thanks Snoop for that image!!!) What would that go for? I'd even throw in the shank!!!See, this is why I am destined for mediocrity... I always come up with the idea AFTER someone else has capitalized on it... The damn Post It notes? I was sticking paper to the fridge with saliva when I was 6 years old, dammit!
OK... moving on...
This was fun... read an article this morning about a "diaper-free movement". Apparently, there is a growing trend with people teaching their kids to use the potty basically from birth. They use non-verbal signals to indicate it's time to go.
The kid in the article, 13 month old Dominic Klatt in Sutton, MA basically goes to mommy and holds his wrist, which is the signal that he has to go potty.
Here's the best part...
She walks him over to a tree in the back yard, makes a "hissing" noise and BOOM! the kid pees on the tree! Now, I don't know what the signal is for #2... might be a finger in the bum-bum for all I know...
Honestly folks... I am all for it... I remember back in the day, my cousin Billy would take a crap anywhere. If there were leaves at hand, he'd be shitting. Why can't we go back to those days? No diaper rash to worry about... no messes to clean up... We were so care free!!!All these damn closed doors...
What the hell are we all hiding? Do I really need to read a book on the shitter? Why can't I just squat under a tree, enjoy nature, and feed the earth with my waste? What could possibly be so bad about seeing folks bent over in the grass, relieving themselves?
Oh... it's what we call civilization?
I guess the Romans didn't invent indoor plumbing so we could all run around messing up our lovely gardens, huh?
Damn... sounded like such a great idea. And a real easy way to get out of a public intoxication charge...
"Honestly, officer... I don't know what the big deal is. I was raised diaper-free! I've been pissing in alleyways since I was 8 months old!!!"
Peace out...
Heitz
No comments:
Post a Comment