Coke Lines and Zoo Poo

Folks, this is a disturbing trend...

http://www.miamiherald.com/548/story/198527.html

Apparently, cocaine use in the past 6 months is dropping to 10 year lows based on the number of positive drug test results. I don't know what to say... but COME ON PEOPLE!!! Are we not NUMBER ONE at everything we do? This is embarrassing...

Now that I think about it... they are talking about a 6 month trend in dropping cocaine use. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the Sub-Prime mortgage meltdown has been going on for 6 months. Company after company closing it's doors.

Now, this is just a guess, but I'm thinking that all us "high" paid Account Executives in the mortgage industry MIGHT have something to do with the lack of cocaine use going on right now. Since thousands of those 6-Figure people are now sitting by the pool with no job, they probably had to resort to less expensive means of getting a high... like beer. I'm sure the same thing was true after the stock market collapse in 1929...

Until we can come up with a new crop of highly paid individuals that need unlimited amounts of energy each day, we are doomed to a society of slowing drug use. I'm sure the energy drink companies are feeling the crunch as well... hell, I used to pour Red Bull in my Lucky Charms to get going in the morning! Now, a cup of coffee is all I need.

Sad days indeed...

ZOO POO!!!

Seriously, this is cool... and my guess is that the local zoo here in Tampa is a little behind the times... they are finally SELLING poo from the large herbivores as a compost mix, toilet training tool, and God only knows what else!

Before we know it, they will have an Herbivore Excrement body rub down at the local salon for all those house wives to feel like new! Actually, they'll probably feel like a Kalahari bush-woman as opposed to a South Tampa urbanite living the good life. they CLAIM that the zoo poo has no odor, but anyone that has been to the circus and seen an elephant lay a heaping helping of steamy goodness knows it don't smell good.

At any rate, for a non-profit zoo like Lowry Park Zoo here in Tampa (or even Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago) this has to make sense. I know about the failed experiments with making "clay" figurines... went sour when little children decided to chew on their new "toy". Building houses out of it only works in the bush in Africa or maybe parts of our Southwestern US.

I say, what the hell! Go buy a few gallons of elephant poo. Spread it around your yard and before ya know it you'll have a tribe of Namibian bushmen camping out after being displaced by civil war. If nothing else, they'll make sure the Raccoons stay out of your trash.

On a final note... I want everyone to cross their fingers for me... I am opening up an eBay store called Suncoast DVD. Trying to make sure that if the mortgage industry does do a swan dive into an empty pool, that I am prepared for the worst. If you are an eBay buyer, keep your eyes open for me... I'll be setup shortly!

Thanks!

Heitz