Welcome to Friday! A GAS Powered Friday!I was thinking pretty intently about some stuff last night... I think I may have come up with the idea that will catapult me to Billionaire status! You can just imagine my glee at that thought...
So, a couple years ago, my dad was in a bad motorcycle accident. Anyone that knows my dad can attest to the fact that he could literally clear a room. Give him a banana and you'll have to call in a HAZMAT squad... Sauerkraut or Chili would have been suicidal.
Well, when he had that accident, the doctors had to go in and put his pelvis back together (I'll spare ya the gory details...). Ever since, his farts don't stink... I kid you not. It's like the doctors either slipped in a charcoal filter or a Febreze sheet or something.
So, what's my brilliant idea? I'm glad you asked...
Let's make this ELECTIVE surgery! Think about it for a sec...
Does your husband like to give you the Dutch Oven treatment? Take him in for a Intestinal Freshening and he could give you all the Dutch Ovens he desires and you won't care!
Now, obviously I need to get with the doctors that did this surgery and find out what the secret ingredient is, but I tell ya... who WOULDN'T go for this??? I'm gonna be RICH, BEEOTCH!!!
Lost In Space
I came across this article in the Trib this morning, and it's all over the press... "NASA Allows 2 Astronauts to Fly Drunk"...
The Baltimore Sun states that the Blood Alcohol level in Maryland (and I believe most states) is .08% but NASA has a limit of .02% for a space mission. It sounds like this may not have been routine for astronauts to tie one on prior to a take-off but I wonder about that... The Tampa Trib is quoting a source regarding "heavy use of alcohol by crew members" and that NASA has a "12 Hour 'Bottle to Throttle' policy".
This may just be me being silly... as usual... but if you have a POLICY about 12 hours from Bottle to Throttle (and I think all us big people know what their referring to) then I guess it IS a big problem with drunk astronauts flying around the cosmos.
I can just imagine the headlines on the Martian Gazette...
DRUNK EARTHLING KILLS 12 IN HIT & RUN
I'm pretty sure it must be awful stressful to be getting in a space ship and flying around the planet and all, but come on... a 12 hour window? Many of us can pull of the getting to work by 9am thing after drinking til 6am, but we're talking about actual ROCKET SCIENCE here folks! I could probably have a beer or 2 at lunch and still function at my job pretty well. But when you have all them gizmos, and scientific stuff to deal with... well, I just couldn't imagine doing that with a hangover, let alone plastered to the wall drunk!
I guess the only logical step to take here is to have a breathalyzer connected to the ignition switch. Then we can be sure that our astronauts not only are sober, but can get our missions accomplished so we can inhabit the rest of the universe!
Drunk Drivin' - 40 Year Old Virgin
Add to My Profile More Videos
Drunk Drivin' - 40 Year Old Virgin
Add to My Profile More Videos
Heitz
No comments:
Post a Comment