Tuesday is the New Monday

Ughhhhh...

Seriously, I feel like I just got done with a 48 hour bender... is this Monday or Tuesday?

I could go right in to the "they always die in 3's" and be totally justified... But I won't...

What I do want to start with is Ike Turner:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/07/29/AR2007072900481.html?nav=rss_artsandliving/entertainmentnews

Apparently, Ike has no problem with there being no official "Ike Turner Day" in St Louis. I guess he was up for the honor in conjunction with playing at the "Big Muddy Blues Festival" coming up in a few weeks. For anyone not familiar with the "Big Muddy", I went a few times while in college in good ol' Southern Illinois... St Louis is a good place to party; let me just leave it at that.

So, Ike does not get a special day... many people think that the portrayal of him as a wife-beater should be enough to make him just go away. Who can forget Jim Carrey's line in "Liar, Liar":

"Hit me again Ike, and this time put some stank on it!!!"

But seriously, if we give Ike Turner his own special day in St Louis... don't we need a Billy Corgan day in Chicago? How about a Justin Timberlake Day in Orlando? Shit, while we're at it, I was pretty well known on Western Avenue in Chicago for a while... how about a "Mike Heitz Day"... just on the West side of Western Avenue (that's the side with all the bars... damn dry precincts...)... Now I think we are on to something.

tell ya what... I'll spring for a few kegs of natural Light or something...someone else can handle the entertainment... we can rock til we puke. I'm pretty sure we can get some headliners to show up!

Between his drug conviction and his infamous image as a wife beater, I should think Ike SHOULD be just happy with still being around the music scene. It's refreshing to see that he is happy with his place in the world. I think more people should be that way...

DEATH IN THREE'S...

Here we go again... Tom Snyder, Ingmar Bergman, and Bill Walsh all died yesterday...

Bergman was known for the number of stars he created back in the 50's including one of my all time favorites... Max von Sydow... Who can forget his role as Brewmeister Smith in the critically acclaimed "Strange Brew: The Adventures of Bob & Doug Mackenzie"? You could really feel the evil seeping out of his character... I'm sure he learned that from Bergman...

Tom Snyder spent years and years interviewing people on late night TV... probably one of the most memorable interviews was when he met with Charles Manson... gives me the chills still just thinking about it. In case you've been living under a rock, Charles Manson is that loony toons guy that took a few acid trips WAY too far... To this day, his parole hearings are aired on Court TV when they do come up.

And Bill Walsh was the architect of the West Coast offense in the NFL. He was widely regarded as a great talent evaluator after drafting the likes of Joe Montana in the 3rd round of the draft and a guy from a tiny southern school by the name of Jerry Rice. Only two of the best players EVER in the history of the game. Of course, being a Bears fan and not giving a rats ass about the 49ers, I can point out Walsh was also a master manipulator of OTHER teams draft day thinking... Walsh would tab a QB as the "next Montana" and suddenly there is a whirlwind of activity surrounding this guy and someone else would gobble them up only to find out Walsh was pulling their leg. Case in point: Steve Stenstrom. Drafted by the KC Chiefs after Walsh tabbed him as the next great thing, and of course my Bears picked him up from them and proceeded to go 4-12 with him at the helm. He still has numerous passing records at Stanford, but he is not even the next Montana Jock Strap...

Couple quick hits before I leave you today...

• Mike Vick is getting rolled on. One of his co-defendants is taking a plea bargain and is naming Vick as the bank roller of the massive dog fighting ring. Have fun in prison, Mike. Can anyone else see a "Longest Yard" kinda scenario here?





• Danica McKellar, the cute lil' girl from the Wonder Years TV show, says that being smart and cute is better than being cute and dumb. Well, go figure... of course, I am an idiot... I forgot I put her on lay-away all those years ago... look who has egg on their face now. She's right though... emphasis on cute... we don't want them ugly no matter what. Good thing Danica turned out DEEEE-licious!!!


• Chris Simms, QB for the Tampa Bay Bucaneers, may be suffering from "Proprioception"... apparently this means he cannot tell where his arms and legs are in relation to the rest of his body. I guess this is just laying the groundwork for the numerous interceptions he will throw this year.

Peace out...

Heitz

Rage Filled Monday

Rage Against the President!!!

Well, I must say I am a bit disturbed by the news today coming out of the "Rock the Bells" hip-hop tour... Apparently, one of my many heroes, Zach de la Rocha, from Rage Against the Machine, went on a tirade while on-stage, calling for the hanging and shooting death of President George Bush.

I don't mind someone speaking their mind, whether I agree with them or not. But what really got under my skin was the fall out from the news programs after his appeal...

Said Ann Coulter of Fox News: "Has anyone checked with Flock of Seagulls?... They're (RATM) losers, their fans are losers, and there's a lot of violence coming from the left wing..."

I am no left wing Pinko, I can assure you... and I may be a LOT of things... but I am no LOSER Ann Coulter... Tell me, how is that "Wax On; Wax Off" working for you?

I think what we are all missing here is not that Zach de la Rocha said the current President should be tried, hung, and shot for his actions... RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE IS BACK!!! WOO HOO!!!! YEAH!!! Now all I gotta do is figure a way to get them to come to the Hip-Hop capital of the Gulf Coast of Florida! (yeah, I'm sure that's up on their list... :( )

I can almost envision a reunion album coming out with maybe some help from giants of the industry like Mos Def, Snoop, Dr. Dre... oh that would be good fun!

Now back to the statements made... Bush and the rest of his cronies have made plenty of mistakes over the past few years, but there has been some happy news from time to time, hasn't there? I mean, the DOW recently went over 14,000! Come on now people! Can't we find some kind of silver lining here?

Maybe we can sit Zach and W down together to has this out... I mean shouldn't we be communicating instead of killing? Isn't that what I am doing here? Instead of venting my angst and frustrations with random acts of violence, I am pounding my keyboard!

hmmm... that sounded a little more sexual than I intended...

moving on to something less volatile...

Rent - A - Pet... What Will THEY Think of Next?

I came across an article about a company called FlexPetz (http://www.flexpetz.com/), based in Los Angeles with operations in major cities in California and expanding to New York and London soon. The founder of this company, Marlena Cervantes, came up with the idea that some people want the joy of having a pet, but only at certain times... say Saturday mornings, or Wednesday nights... but that many people don't have the means or the space to have a pet full time.

So, she worked out a deal with a local animal shelter to acquire a number of dogs that she rents out. Basically you can rent for one day, or pay a monthly fee (or annual) and you can have a dog whenever you want... and just bring them back when you are done with it!

Frikkin sweet!!! Two ideas I came up with in how to use this...

First off... Can I rent a puppy? Seriously... I want a puppy to take to the beach as a chick magnet... Ahhh, I can picture it now...

"Oh, HI Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel! Sure, I'd LUV to bring my puppy to your bikini party! What's that? Oh no, I don't have to return Fido til tomorrow morning so we have ALL night... " ;)

Seriously, what could be better than that? Hmmmm... wait a moment... another thought...

Why not just rent a girlfriend? Maybe I could find an Alba/Biel clone that I could rent only when I want some snuggle time and then return them! that would have to be WAY cheaper than having a real girlfriend, right?

Anyone know if this has been done already? I mean, if no one out there is renting out women, I might put my entrepreneurial spirit to work here... There are plenty of beautiful women here in Tampa and I'm sure there are quite a few that would go out with guys for money! I'M GONNA BE RICH!!!

Shit, I just realized I was watching too much "Wired for Sex" on G4TV over the weekend and am confusing Japan's loose sexual mores with America's tight fisted religious views... grrrrr... all my great entrepreneurial ideas are much better suited for overseas exploration it seems...

Well, in the meantime, I well just have to settle for working for a living... at least until the next big idea jumps in my head!

Heitz

Sticking it to the Man

Frikkin Sweet A$$ Oreo...

So, I was in the grocery store yesterday and came across a new product...

That's right... these are Oreo cookies that are specifically designed in "6 Fun Cookie Designs" for dunking in the beverage of your choice! OH SWEET JOY!!!

What a frikkin idea!!! Seriously, why can't I come up with these ideas before someone else? I mean, come on, Post It Notes? I was writing on toilet paper when I was a kid and slapping it to the fridge with saliva... talk about Olde Skool!

So, what is the big deal you might ask? Well, considering the earth shattering potential of these new "dunkable" (is that a word? if not, can I get credit for it?) cookies, I was also overwhelmed by the desire to NOT follow the directions... (let's see, insert picture here...)

As you can see, "The Man" has labeled the cookies for correct usage. "Hold Here" and "Dunk Here" clearly indicated at opposing ends of the cookies for proper dunking technique.

Now, I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I personally tried to hit a tennis ball with the handle end, just to show I was not going to conform... (hmmm, might have something to do with NOT being good at tennis... try it the other way next time...). So, you can imagine the pressure I was under to flip this bad boy over and go dirty style on it!

OH SWEET MISTRESS OF NON-CONFORMITY!!!

Let me just say, that was just no ordinary cookie at that point... it was a release from everyday tedium, from driving on the right side of the road, from tipping 15%, from wearing the right shoes on the right goddam feet!!! I felt ALIVE!!! The self congratulatory high five I gave myself afterwards was just so damn anticlimactic.

Of course, after about 15 minutes of free wheeling adventurous fun... the cookies were no more... I had a tummy ache and just wanted some Mylanta. I wonder if that was a sign that maybe all that non-conformity was BAD for me... shit, I hope not... I'm thinking about eating some hot dogs without the buns today!

KISS THIS...

Last night, legendary guitarist Paul Stanley, from the band KISS was taken off stage after his rate rate jumped to 190 beats per minute. personally, I am perplexed by this news... having grown up a "good boy", I avoided listening to bands such as KISS, AC/DC, and the Osmond Family... ( I KNOW something fishy is going on with that brother and sister pair...)

But looking at Mr. Stanley... or should I say, "His Dark Lord Royal Highness"... I have to wonder what this publicity stunt is all about. We all KNOW that the members of KISS are all demons taking earthly form to move amongst us. So, knowing he is a demon why would we all fall for a story about his "heart rate jumping to 190"??? Where's the squeeze here? What's the REAL story?

I think that this is a sign of bad times coming... look at this album cover from back in the day... Does anyone else see what I see?

War...

Pestilence...

Famine..

Death...

I think the end is near, is what I think! So, we all NEED to get our affairs in order... burn your KISS albums as that may weaken them some... counteract their '70's Rock & Roll with some '90's Hip-Hop and Gangsta Rap... What Would Snoop Do?

I tell ya what Snoop would do... he'd fire up some tunes, have his homey Baby Boo come over with some East Side Ho's and he would bring in the new era of peace on earth with a party that would make the Shizznitt look like a Romper Room revival!

I don't even know what all that means, but people we have to act fast... if we all fire up our barbecue grills today at the same time, we could sufficiently heat up the earth's atmosphere that these demons of hell might think they are already back in Hell... in which case, we could by ourselves a little time...

I've the Snoop and some dogs for my grill... someone else needs to bring the beer...

Let's roll...

Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is

Snoop Dogg on the mic i'm about as crazy as BizMarkie,

spark the, chronic bud real quick

And let me get into some fly gangsta shit

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Weekend Hijinks - Gabor Style!

Naked in the Lap of Luxury

An interesting little article I saw on cnn.com this morning about Zsa-Zsa Gabor's hubby... "apparently" he was held up at gun point and forced to strip down and was allegedly hand cuffed to the steering wheel of his Rolls Royce Phantom and robbed of everything he had on his, including his "EXPENSIVE" wrist watch.

Hmmmm... I'm not sure I am buying this... Let's look at the facts here... he's in a Rolls Royce... very luxurious I might point out... Have you ever sat inside a Rolls Royce? I have never had that opportunity presented to me but lets explore this...

The finely crafted leather interior... the smell of hardwood... the smooth rhythmic vibrations of the powerful engine... the deep bass from the amazing acoustic system... heated seats with lumbar massaging controls... mmmmmmmmmm...

Oh shit... Well now that is embarrassing... I closed my eyes just trying to visualize and feel what I was writing and now I gone and done it... I confess to the world that I am now sitting here naked. (Don't bother asking, I will NOT post a picture of this embarrassing moment...) I don't know how this happened... hell, I can't even find my damn clothes...

Give me a moment to compose myself, please...

Well, that's better... I think what this little experiment proves is that Frederic Von Anhalt (who by the way also claimed to be the father of Anna Nicole's baby!) is nothing more than a mere victim in this case. He was not robbed... no sir, he was just hijacked by the luxurious appointments of his fine automobile... the luxury of the moment overcame him, and when he snapped out of it... well, he was nekkid. Case closed...

Take Notes - Jury Duty Avoidance

Another news item this morning... Avoiding jury duty and what some cities and states are doing to catch up to people.

For the record, I have been sent a jury summons 3 times... twice while I was in college... yeah, like I was about to drive 5 hours to try and bail out of jury duty. The last time I actually went... I did everything I could to get out of it... ended up being the Jury Foreman on a total scam of a case. I'm pretty sure everyone got paid on that deal EXCEPT me... bastards...

Apparently the old tricks are not good any more... You can't be racist, sexist, homophobic, anti-establishment, or angry enough to get out of it these days. In fact, many areas are resorting to picking people at random off the street to sit on juries.

In North Carolina, sheriff deputies are actually sent out in some cases to pick up people at the post office or grocery store... heaven forbid I am able to pick up a gallon of milk without being escorted to court! (outstanding warrants NOT included in that comment...)

So, I wonder now, what can we do to avoid this "requirement of democracy"? Here's one that might work even these days... from alabamaimproper.com:

Don’t take a bath for a couple of days, then come into court in clothes that looked like you slept in them or mowed the grass in them. Consider buying a bottle of “doe scent” (female deer urine) and sprinkle it on your pants legs.
Then just act like you’re crazy, mutter and mumble under your breath, talk to your invisible friend, and say things like “they all aught to fry” or “hang the bastards…they’re all guilty else they wouldn’t be in jail…”
He lasted a couple of hours in the jury pool, then they politely told him that he was “excused.”

Now of course, using an excuse like this means you must be comfortable actually pulling this off. If so, you have much larger coconuts than I do!

Happy Saturday!

Heitz

Gas Powered - Drinking & Flying @ Light Speed

Welcome to Friday! A GAS Powered Friday!

I was thinking pretty intently about some stuff last night... I think I may have come up with the idea that will catapult me to Billionaire status! You can just imagine my glee at that thought...

So, a couple years ago, my dad was in a bad motorcycle accident. Anyone that knows my dad can attest to the fact that he could literally clear a room. Give him a banana and you'll have to call in a HAZMAT squad... Sauerkraut or Chili would have been suicidal.

Well, when he had that accident, the doctors had to go in and put his pelvis back together (I'll spare ya the gory details...). Ever since, his farts don't stink... I kid you not. It's like the doctors either slipped in a charcoal filter or a Febreze sheet or something.

So, what's my brilliant idea? I'm glad you asked...

Let's make this ELECTIVE surgery! Think about it for a sec...

Does your husband like to give you the Dutch Oven treatment? Take him in for a Intestinal Freshening and he could give you all the Dutch Ovens he desires and you won't care!

Now, obviously I need to get with the doctors that did this surgery and find out what the secret ingredient is, but I tell ya... who WOULDN'T go for this??? I'm gonna be RICH, BEEOTCH!!!

Lost In Space

I came across this article in the Trib this morning, and it's all over the press... "NASA Allows 2 Astronauts to Fly Drunk"...

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/nation/bal-te.astronaut27jul27,0,3897908.story

The Baltimore Sun states that the Blood Alcohol level in Maryland (and I believe most states) is .08% but NASA has a limit of .02% for a space mission. It sounds like this may not have been routine for astronauts to tie one on prior to a take-off but I wonder about that... The Tampa Trib is quoting a source regarding "heavy use of alcohol by crew members" and that NASA has a "12 Hour 'Bottle to Throttle' policy".

This may just be me being silly... as usual... but if you have a POLICY about 12 hours from Bottle to Throttle (and I think all us big people know what their referring to) then I guess it IS a big problem with drunk astronauts flying around the cosmos.

I can just imagine the headlines on the Martian Gazette...

DRUNK EARTHLING KILLS 12 IN HIT & RUN

I'm pretty sure it must be awful stressful to be getting in a space ship and flying around the planet and all, but come on... a 12 hour window? Many of us can pull of the getting to work by 9am thing after drinking til 6am, but we're talking about actual ROCKET SCIENCE here folks! I could probably have a beer or 2 at lunch and still function at my job pretty well. But when you have all them gizmos, and scientific stuff to deal with... well, I just couldn't imagine doing that with a hangover, let alone plastered to the wall drunk!

I guess the only logical step to take here is to have a breathalyzer connected to the ignition switch. Then we can be sure that our astronauts not only are sober, but can get our missions accomplished so we can inhabit the rest of the universe!


Drunk Drivin' - 40 Year Old Virgin

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Heitz

Death Cat not a Cutie

I am not a cat person. There. that's out in the open. I don't like stinky litter boxes; I don't like getting scratched for no damn reason; I don't like the look in their eyes like they are thinking, "if only you were smaller you make a tasty meal".

So, you can imagine my horror when I saw this article in the paper this morning and also on CNN.com:

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/07/25/death.cat.ap/index.html

This cat was raised as a kitten in a dementia ward in a Rhode Island nursing home and is basically walking around the hospital killing people. they claim the cat is just "predicting" that people will die, but I think we all know better.

For thousands of years, cats have been jealous that we get to walk around on two legs, while they are still scrambling around like filthy animals. I thought their payback only went so far as to make us clean up their poop and deal with smelly furniture after they "marked" their territory. Apparently, they are taking their anger out to a whole new level.

Apparently, Oscar, as this murderer is called, is wandering the halls of this hospital, picks a patient, and "predicts" they will die within 4 hours by curling up with the dying patient. According to the report, he is more accurate than the doctors! So, why is no one checking to make sure there is no foul play? Is it because he's just a cute, furry little kitty?

My doors are locked... keep them damn cats away from me...

Morning Coffee...

I've realized that I am a creature of habit to a great degree... during the week, I have one cup of coffee, may times just sitting in Starbucks reading the paper... OK, and checking out the "talent"... I've come to the conclusion that coffee, more than anything, is a social mechanism. Sure, it can taste good, it gives you a kick in the pants in the morning, and it keeps all them Happy Guatemalans employed... But have you ever just watched the interactions in a coffee shop, or say a Dunkin' Donuts...

Many folks come in groups and standing in line is like their morning social life. Talking to people that they don't normally hang out with or work with. For example, I go to the same Starbucks every day, they have my Venti bold coffee ready for me before I even ask for it... I talk to the people in line, not knowing ANY of their names for the most part. The girls behind the counter all know my name, but I think I might only know one of theirs. But I've noticed on days when I do NOT hit the Starbucks (it happens occasionally) that I am not in as good a mood or as energized to start my day.

Is there a secret ingredient in their coffee? Is it just the fact that I get the blood circulating early in the day? I dunno... but I can say that those little coffee shops are a part of my being... I can sit there all day surfing the web and just watching the world go by...

I think the other reason I spend so much time there is my buddy Ryan picked up a chick there once...

Nah, I think it's the other stuff I said...

Later

Heitz

Taking Some Good w/ The Bad

So, I woke up feeling like I really knew what I was going to write about this morning and then WHAMMY!!! I get an email telling me about some BIG news for anyone who is a Chicago Bears fan...

So, my problem is do I write about the messy state of affairs in the NFL, NBA, MLB, and Lindsay Lohan world? OR... Do I talk about Lance Briggs possibly signing a frikkin' contract finally and NOT holding out?

Part of me REALLY wants to talk about my girl Lindsay... She can be so DAMN hot sometimes...

OK, so this is not one of those times... Still, for a mug shot, I'd probably still give her a roll under the covers. It's just sad to see all that talent ($$$$) go to such waste. Not that she's on the same level as these guys but didn't ANYONE learn anything from John Belushi and Chris Farley?

Shit I forgot... I was totally PUMPED because Lance Briggs is close to signing! Oh yeah, and Charles "Peanut" Tillman is signed for another 7 Years! SCHWING!!! Speaking of long term contracts...

Dangit... Mike & Mike on ESPN Radio were just talking about Mike Vick... and the NBA Ref... and Steroids with Barry Bonds still only a couple dingers away...

OK, briefly... Mike Vick... see the Lohan comment about WHAT THE HELL IS THIS BOY THINKING??? He's got a $130,000,000 (I think i have enough Zeroes there...) contract and what does he do? he flips off the fans and spends his spare time killing dogs. Real nice role model...

NBA Ref... I don't even need to bother with his name because as soon as he sings like a canary theMafia will have him whacked. I always thought there had to be more of this going on in the NBA with all the phantom calls at crucial moments. I rarely watch the NBA anymore except for the fact that my Bulls are good again! Hope this guy likes the Jersey shore as that is most likely where his shallow grave will be...

And the latest on Barry Bonds and his big frikkin' head... Apparently the chemist who created the "Clear" steroid cream says it is obvious to him that Bonds used steroids based on conversations with Victor Conte (the Balco Labs guy) regarding Bonds performance on "the Program". OK, Doc... tell me something we DON'T already know... my main problem with Bonds is WHY CHEAT at all? He was already the best player in the game when he showed up for camp back in 1998 with that HUGE watermelon of a head on his shoulders. He sure as hell didn't look like that at the end of the previous season! But he was a clear 1st ballot Hall of Famer in the making at that point and then he gets monstrously huge and now everyone wants him dead... well, except for the folks in San Fran who love him. I already have a plan for him, just start beaning him every time he comes up. Why waste 4 pitches walking him when you can put him on base with 1 pitch. Right in the earhole. Too bad I am not a pitching coach...

Last but not least... a couple shout outs...

The Sarah Silverman Show is coming back soon for season 2 on Comedy Central!!! My Tivo is cleared of all the silly History Channel shit I've been watching and ready to roll, darlin'! (She's so frikkin' hot!!!) Also, Steve Agee and Brian Posehn ain't too shabby at playing her big gay neighbors...

And last, but not least, a shout out to Brother Grimace... My long lost Crow Brother has been found at last. Get yer behind out of East Peoria and bring me a Shamrock Shake with ya!

Peace...

PS... I am totally STOKED about Lance Briggs signing his damn contract!!! WOO HOO! Super Bowl XLII here I come!!!

Potter Fest in my Pants

With Harrypottermania sweeping the land, I thought I'd toss my hat in the ring... I did NOT wait in line Friday night for my pre-ordered copy... I slept in Saturday, lolly-gagged over to Borders and picked it up around Noon. Sat by the pool til the storms rolled in, cracked open a fresh 12 pack, and BOOM done by Sunday at Midnight.

I've already stated this to my close pals, but had I gone to the party Friday night I probably would have dressed as Cho. I have a thing for Asian girls and SHE is totally on "lay-away" for a couple years. Of course, NOT being a cross dresser might have made that a bit uncomfortable, but ya only live once, right?

So, I finished the book faster than I've ever read anything in my life. Hell, I can't get through the daily comics in the morning so reading over 700 pages in under 48 hours is flat out ridiculous. But I must say I am inspired by Ms. Rowling and her story. Almost makes me feel like I need to quit my job and start writing something. Of course, I need an idea to just "fall into my head" as she so eloquently stated this one did.

I won't spoil anything for anyone that hasn't finished the book, but I expected a little more at the end. I kinda had it figured out but then also was shocked at a couple things as well. Needless to say, I enjoyed the book VERY much. Next task is to start from the beginning and read through ALL 7 of them from start to finish!!! Don't that sound like a Hoot? :)

Politics... yuck...

OK, so on to some politics... I'm not sure who has already decided who they want for our next Presidente, but I decided months ago that I am standing firmly behind Barrack Obama. Yes, he of the diverse background, and honest truth about drugs, etc... Historically, I tended to vote for Independent candidates although I did vote for Bush after 9/11. I am not sure how I feel about all that now, but it seemed the prudent choice at the time.

I have read both Obama's books and can honestly say that I am buying what he is selling. He comes clean on so many things in his two books that many politicians would only fess up about in front of a grand jury (drugs, embarrassing childhood things, etc..). We certainly don't have to wade through any lies about how he did not inhale, now do we?

Honestly though, I cannot imagine voting for any of the other candidates on either side of the fence. I didn't like the original Clinton so why would I vote for the spin-off? Giuliani? gesundheit... spaghetti... whatever...

I'm sure part of my family may disown me for voting for a black guy, but I can point out safely that his mom is white and from Kansas. Hell, Kansas is about as white as it gets these days, ain't it?

Heitz

Baby's First Blog

WOW!
Here I am, hitting the big time...

I've been posting on MySpace for a while, with limited success. OK, I admit, I think 3 people have read my heart wrenching tales of living in Tampa. Let's see if I can bump that number up to 4, shall we?

Stupidity? Or is Someone else to blame?

This is something that I don't recall seeing nearly as much living most of my life in Chicago. I find this odd, as you will soon see...

In the past 60 days there have been 3 fatal accidents in the Tampa area involving moving trains and people driving AROUND the gates to try and save a few minutes. Now, Chicago still has probably more active train lines than any other metropolitan area (just a hunch... hell, it used to take me an hour to run down the block for beer)... Tampa has like 1 I think... All of these accidents occurred in a town about 30 minutes east of Tampa, and in 2 of the cases people went around the gates as the train approached and were basically wiped out.

Now, this is where it gets crazy as the newspaper headlines all talk about the tragedy. I agree it's tragic when lives are lost for no reason, or at least in such a way that could have been avoided. In one of the accidents, the driver went around not only the gates, but also another vehicle that was stopped at the tracks! Where is the common sense? Fortunately, the residents of Tampa were not convinced that CSX or Amtrak were to blame... here's a quote from a reader in the Tampa Tribune today:

Never attribute to ignorance that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

I'm sure they found that in a quote book somewhere, but it sums up my feelings. For a week straight, the media was running in circles talking about how fast these trains were going! Oh My, they should slow down!!! As if it matters whether the train is going 65 or 45 miles per hour, as is pointed out by another reader.

I think we are at a stage in society where we no longer fear the predators of milennia past... I find it refreshing to know that SOME people still have some common sense to see around the issue as the media is presenting it and get to the bottom of what REALLY is the issue.

Let's Talk Some Baseball

With NFL Pre-season right around the corner, this is normally about the time of year I stash the Cubbie Blue in the back of the closet and get ready for another season of Chicago Bear dominance. Of course, the Cubs are hanging around their division race still, just BEGGING me to keep watching.

Not gonna do it!

Thank you Dana Carvey for those words of wisdom... The last time the Cubs hung around this late in the season, I got roped into watching as they imploded thanks to a little assistance from Mr. Steve Bartman (you'll rue the day, Bartman!!!) and a LOT of assistance from their pitching staff. I'm now prepared t totally tune them out once the 2-a-days begin and just wait for Sportscenter to tell me what happens in October. As a long suffering Cubs fan, I can almost hear the tendons popping in Kerry Wood's shoulder. I really can't go through all that again.

And ya know, the way I see it, there will be a whole lot of energy to expend for the Bears this season to get back to the Super Bowl I really can't start the NFL season off on a sour not because I am wrapped up in the Cubs.

Just walk away, Heitz... Stay... away...

Back to work, folks... more to come...

Peace...