My girl, Angela, and I spent the weekend in Savannah, GA. I had never been there, never even really thought about going there on vacation until a few weeks ago, and can honestly say I am looking forward to going back!
I guess one of the main things I enjoyed was the historical significance of pretty much everything there. I love reading about history, and one of my main issues living in the Tampa area is there very little sense of history here. Well, that and you have to drive EVERYWHERE!!! Ugh… Seriously, I walked more in 3 days in Savannah that I have in the past 5 years here in Tampa. I could lose what little fat I have in probably 2 weeks living there!!!
We got there Friday evening and you get an immediate sense of nostalgia and history when you arrive in Savannah. Tree lined streets, not a Border’s or Best Buy to be seen (although there is a Starbuck’s!). A number of small stores line Broughton Street and you can find pretty much anything you are looking for. We got to our hotel, the River Street Inn and were upgraded to a room overlooking the Savannah River. Absolutely gorgeous view! Stan was definitely the Man! (Stan’s name has been changed to protect the innocent)
One thing that the restaurants on River Street are known for is a concoction known as the “Chatham Artillery Punch”. It’s a brew of immense flavor and toxicity. Here’s a link to a recipe – not for the faint of heart:
http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/005896.html
One amazing fact about Savannah – it’s one of two cities in the United States that you can stroll down any street with an open alcoholic beverage! (The other city is New Orleans) Needless to say, Angela and I each had drinks in our hands for the majority of the weekend. We were NOT messing around. ;)
We had dinner at the Shrimp Factory on River Street – a fantastic meal with a great seat watching the people walk by. That was where we had our first beverages of the weekend. ;) We took a small sample of the Punch and quickly decided to take a couple to go. Wandering the streets with a drink is a lot of fun. It makes everyone around you that much more interesting!
We ended up sitting and watching a great two-man blues team along the river walk. Walter on guitar and “Blue” dancing and vocalizing was a real treat. I’ve always said “a sign of a good guitarist is how many strings they break in a show”. I counted 5 breaks in the time we sat watching these guys jam and delight a throng of passersby. Apparently they are out there EVERY day of the week form what we could tell.
We got up pretty late on Saturday, but we didn’t miss much. It seems Saturday morning is made for sleeping off a hangover in Savannah as we hardly saw anyone as we walked around and hit the nearby Starbuck’s. From there we trekked all over downtown Savannah visiting such local attractions as the Telfair Museum of Art, the Jepson Art center, strolled through numerous squares including Wright Square, found our way though the City Market and saw one of the oldest African American churches in the south.
We had lunch at the Moon River Brewery – which was outstanding. Great food and very good beer and the best part was the music. If you love good ol’ down south Delta Blues, it don’t get much better. I thoroughly enjoyed hanging out there. We also stopped for drinks at a few other places including Molly MacPherson’s, a Scottish pub where the bartenders wear Kilts! I think Angela was checking them out, but we got out of there after one round in which my mom became a bitch. :( Long story short, my roommate’s fiancée is a FAST drinker… and when she finishes a drink before anyone, she slams her cup/bottle/glass down and says “Yer mom’s a bitch!”… yeah, it’s catchy…
Saturday night dinner was at the Boar’s Head Grille, a recommendation of a couple locals. And we were not disappointed… had a couple nice filets, and a pile of fixin’s… we left with very full bellies, and another drink for the road. Back down to Walter & “Blue” for a lively evening wind-down as they entertained a large crowd with renditions of Christmas songs, old Delta Blues tunes, and a few Elvis tunes thrown in for good measure.
By Sunday morning, we were ready for more and walked to Starbuck’s and then straight down Bull Street to Forsyth Park. We stopped along the way to see a few monuments – Savannah has a LOT of history on display! Forsyth Park was beautiful... reminded me a little of Grant Park in Chicago with regards to the amount of people just chilling out or tossing the football around… one difference is it is VERY accessible. It’s surrounded by residential neighborhoods so plenty of folks hit the park just because it’s right there!
It was a great weekend and I cannot recommend the River Street Inn enough to anyone that might be planning a trip to Savannah any time soon. It was a wonderful stay and right in the mix of everything happening along the Savannah River. I’ve got pics posted at my Facebook profile which can be seen here:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=49070&id=592483971
We are already considering a return trip for a long 4th of July weekend... there is a LOT to see and I feel we only scratched the surface!
Peace out!
Heitz
Monday, December 22, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
Stupid Book & Jury Duty
So, I am reading this book that my roommate's fiancee left behind after her last weekend here. The author has a degree from University of Chicago, a law degree from Duke University, and is being hailed as an “Internet God” in one review... Tucker Max is apparently the guy every guy wants to be!
I dunno... I am three or four chapters into “I Hope They Server Beer in Hell” and am just not feeling it. As far as I can tell, I probably kicked this guy's ass at some point if what he is writing actually happened. He's the kind of pretentious, self-indulged asshole that probably gets his kicks just talking louder than other people. All his “friends” have stupid nicknames, and basically all they do is drink heavily (no arguments there...) and treat women like dirt.
And seriously... what the hell kind of name is Tucker Max? He's named after my buddy's dog apparently.
Looking at the cover I thought to myself... “he looks like a jackass but maybe it'll be a good laugh while I am on the shitter.” No lie, I have been constipated as hell since starting to read this bullshit that passes for a NY Times Best Seller. Cannot get a good BM going so I gotta finish this worthless waste of paper quick... I promised Emily I wouldn't use it to wipe, so no worries there...
The good news is, this gives me hope! I can out-write and probably out-think this guy in my sleep! He will probably drink me under the table but shit so can Emily! Why the hell am I not published yet??? What this guy is published because he's a brilliant author? Hardly!
So, I am going to keep reading in the hopes it improves. So far, not impressed.
*
I had to show up for jury duty a few weeks ago and was fortunate enough not to get picked for a jury. I am a big fan of the trial by jury thing, I just don't want to have to take part. I'm a HORRIBLE juror anyways...
Basically, the way our judicial system works is you have to leave your personality at the door, forget about ANYTHING that might have happened, and focus on what you are TOLD are the “facts”.
Anyone that has gone into a court room as part of the selection process has probably heard the analogy they use to try and determine if you can render a verdict in particular cases... I've been to jury duty twice and heard this same spiel twice so I think it is in the “Lawyer 101” course... I should ask Tucker Max... he probably knows...
“If there was a law you didn't agree with, but mind you IT'S THE LAW, would you be able to render a verdict for a case that has something to do with that law?”
The story they use goes like this... Let's say the lawmakers in Washington decide to ban Blue Pens. Yeah, blue pens... damn them all to Hell.
OK, so anyways, assume Blue Pens are now illegal. Whether you think this law is just or not, would you be able to sit on a jury and pass judgment on someone accused of using a Blue Pen. Of course, I can't just sit there and take it so I say to the prosecutor:
“Well, it depends...”
“On what?”, he says.
“Well, first off... how many blue pens do I have at home? Second, can I walk into Wal-Mart or CVS and buy Blue pens legally???”, I reply.
“Well, none of that should matter if they are banned,” he says.
“Sure, if you are living under a rock.” I comment... then continue, “A better example would be Prohibition. If Congress decided today to bring back Prohibition, I can say with 100% certainty that I would get done with jury duty today, go home, open my refrigerator door, pull out an ice cold Beck's, crack it open start drinking.”
Needless to say, after scribbling some notes, I was removed from contention as a juror that day. Seriously though, I HAVE to be this cynical... here's what happened the one time I was selected to jury duty...
JURY FOREMAN!!!
Yeah... damn fraudulent case if ever I saw one. The problem is, the lawyers and judge get together ahead of time and agree on certain things that will be kept out of the courtroom... like, hmmmm, I dunno... a toxicology report for someone that fell off a roof.
No lie, this guy never worked a day in his life, fell off his cousins roof “fixing a hole”, and was trying to get $250K out of the insurance company. Th issue I had was we receive a 50 page hospital report regarding his injuries and treatments INCLUDING a 5 page tox screen that had all the info blacked out.
Now, I am not a cop, nor do I work in a hospital, but I think common sense says if a tox screen comes back with 5 pages the boy was drinking or doing SOMETHING!!!
Yeah, he got nothing... the looks on both their faces (as well as the two lawyers) was priceless... they were clearly splitting the winnings and had it spent already. We gave them, to the penny, what his medical expenses were to date.
The way I see it, you have to have a sense of self preservation. If I am drinking, and it's a rainy Saturday in college football season, I am NOT getting up on a steep South Side roof to patch a damn hole. I am going o keep my ass safe on the couch and watch the game!!!
Yeah, I did my homework... knew the neighborhood, etc... Michigan played Notre Dame that day so ya know there was some heavy drinking going on all over the area.
But back to my original point... I am a horrible juror. All I gotta do is wait for the Blue Pen story to come up and I will get out of it every time.
Peace Out...
Heitz
I dunno... I am three or four chapters into “I Hope They Server Beer in Hell” and am just not feeling it. As far as I can tell, I probably kicked this guy's ass at some point if what he is writing actually happened. He's the kind of pretentious, self-indulged asshole that probably gets his kicks just talking louder than other people. All his “friends” have stupid nicknames, and basically all they do is drink heavily (no arguments there...) and treat women like dirt.
And seriously... what the hell kind of name is Tucker Max? He's named after my buddy's dog apparently.
Looking at the cover I thought to myself... “he looks like a jackass but maybe it'll be a good laugh while I am on the shitter.” No lie, I have been constipated as hell since starting to read this bullshit that passes for a NY Times Best Seller. Cannot get a good BM going so I gotta finish this worthless waste of paper quick... I promised Emily I wouldn't use it to wipe, so no worries there...
The good news is, this gives me hope! I can out-write and probably out-think this guy in my sleep! He will probably drink me under the table but shit so can Emily! Why the hell am I not published yet??? What this guy is published because he's a brilliant author? Hardly!
So, I am going to keep reading in the hopes it improves. So far, not impressed.
*
I had to show up for jury duty a few weeks ago and was fortunate enough not to get picked for a jury. I am a big fan of the trial by jury thing, I just don't want to have to take part. I'm a HORRIBLE juror anyways...
Basically, the way our judicial system works is you have to leave your personality at the door, forget about ANYTHING that might have happened, and focus on what you are TOLD are the “facts”.
Anyone that has gone into a court room as part of the selection process has probably heard the analogy they use to try and determine if you can render a verdict in particular cases... I've been to jury duty twice and heard this same spiel twice so I think it is in the “Lawyer 101” course... I should ask Tucker Max... he probably knows...
“If there was a law you didn't agree with, but mind you IT'S THE LAW, would you be able to render a verdict for a case that has something to do with that law?”
The story they use goes like this... Let's say the lawmakers in Washington decide to ban Blue Pens. Yeah, blue pens... damn them all to Hell.
OK, so anyways, assume Blue Pens are now illegal. Whether you think this law is just or not, would you be able to sit on a jury and pass judgment on someone accused of using a Blue Pen. Of course, I can't just sit there and take it so I say to the prosecutor:
“Well, it depends...”
“On what?”, he says.
“Well, first off... how many blue pens do I have at home? Second, can I walk into Wal-Mart or CVS and buy Blue pens legally???”, I reply.
“Well, none of that should matter if they are banned,” he says.
“Sure, if you are living under a rock.” I comment... then continue, “A better example would be Prohibition. If Congress decided today to bring back Prohibition, I can say with 100% certainty that I would get done with jury duty today, go home, open my refrigerator door, pull out an ice cold Beck's, crack it open start drinking.”
Needless to say, after scribbling some notes, I was removed from contention as a juror that day. Seriously though, I HAVE to be this cynical... here's what happened the one time I was selected to jury duty...
JURY FOREMAN!!!
Yeah... damn fraudulent case if ever I saw one. The problem is, the lawyers and judge get together ahead of time and agree on certain things that will be kept out of the courtroom... like, hmmmm, I dunno... a toxicology report for someone that fell off a roof.
No lie, this guy never worked a day in his life, fell off his cousins roof “fixing a hole”, and was trying to get $250K out of the insurance company. Th issue I had was we receive a 50 page hospital report regarding his injuries and treatments INCLUDING a 5 page tox screen that had all the info blacked out.
Now, I am not a cop, nor do I work in a hospital, but I think common sense says if a tox screen comes back with 5 pages the boy was drinking or doing SOMETHING!!!
Yeah, he got nothing... the looks on both their faces (as well as the two lawyers) was priceless... they were clearly splitting the winnings and had it spent already. We gave them, to the penny, what his medical expenses were to date.
The way I see it, you have to have a sense of self preservation. If I am drinking, and it's a rainy Saturday in college football season, I am NOT getting up on a steep South Side roof to patch a damn hole. I am going o keep my ass safe on the couch and watch the game!!!
Yeah, I did my homework... knew the neighborhood, etc... Michigan played Notre Dame that day so ya know there was some heavy drinking going on all over the area.
But back to my original point... I am a horrible juror. All I gotta do is wait for the Blue Pen story to come up and I will get out of it every time.
Peace Out...
Heitz
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Just working over here
OK, so I have had my head buried in the sand for a while since my 100th post... sorry about that... but it's a friggin recession up in here, ain't it???
Hell, I've been screaming recession from a mountain top since the beginning of 2007! Hmmm, seems that is still ahead of what the Feds are finally fessing up to. Either I am brilliant or they lie too much... maybe a little of both.
I guess as someone who was cut loose from gainful employment 4 times in the past 24 months and 5 times overall since 2003, I have a pretty different perspective from most folks when it comes to being out of work, down-on-yer-luck, and just putting the nose to the ol' grindstone when I do have a job. Had a conversation this morning with someone who hit the proverbial nail on the head... "I feel happy just to HAVE a job right now!"
I was part of a BBC radio show a few weeks ago that some folks may have heard... I plastered it all over my Facebook page... Talk about a whole “OTHER” perspective!!! I was the unique person on the call because I had been through so many layoffs. And not just being laid off... I mean, I was right in the thick of the “Sub-prime Tsunami” as my pal Darrin likes to call it. I worked for Fremont Investment & Loan, the first company the FDIC really came in and just flat-out shut down. I think worked for IndyMac bank who suffered a similar fate and is now being controlled by the Feds...
I then went to a division of Bear Stearns and we all know they are now a branch office of JP Morgan Chase. And now of course JP Morgan Chase is laying folks off here in the Tampa area! Good thing I didn't go over there, huh!!!
Finally, Robert Half cut me loose (well, I cut them loose technically but I only just beat them to the punch I bet) and I hear now that the entire division I was a part of is Adios!
As crazy as it seems, all of those failed companies crashed for similar reasons, and all of them had too big of an ego to realize they were in trouble. I was in meetings and conference calls with ALL of these companies that sorta went like this:
: “We are a publicly traded company with $X billion dollars in reserves! The economy is fine, you just need to work harder to make the same amount of money! We aren't going anywhere!!! We've been in business forever!!!”
Or specifically in the case of Bear Stearns: “We've made a profit for 87 consecutive years!!! We're not going under!!!”
No lie, by the time I left Robert Half in August I could lead the conference calls myself. I heard the same ridiculous, egomaniacal rants from so many executive levels folks that I just couldn't even listen half the time. NONE of them would come to the table and say, “OK, times are tough... here's what we are going to do to weather the storm and ensure you still have a job”.
Sadly, many of them are STILL out of work. As I said before... “I feel lucky to have a job!!!” and it's the sad truth!
The good news is, the new job I have is great! I am a computer geek again! WAA HOO!!! I had a guy say to me a month ago... “Well, I feel safe because no one ever lays off IT people!!!”
hmmmm... it was all I could do NOT to punch the guy in the nose. Talk about having yer head buried in the sand!
***
But back to the BBC thing... some food for thought...
The unemployment in the US is still below 10% (actually, just looked online and US Dept of Labor says 6.5%)... one person on the round table discussion said that the unemployment in his country (I want to say it was Ghana or something) is in the neighborhood f 75%!!!
Imagine if you and you entire family were all out of work and no prospects for work in the next 12 months... seriously, that is how much of the world is!!! There was a caller from China on the show... here's what he had to say (paraphrasing a bit here):
“It's a foreign concept to us here where there are no 'rights'... no right to work, can't vote... I mean, just the thought that you just selected your country's leader is mind-boggling”...
I've always been one to keep things in perspective, I guess. Even though I have been through the ringer over the past 5 years, it could be MUCH, MUCH worse... I could be out of work AND have no one to blame but myself??? hmmm... not sure I like the sound of that.
…
In other news, the Chicago Bears severely suck ass. Anyone that saw the ass-whuppin' the Minnesota Vikings laid on them Sunday night realizes that. Of course, one person still with his head in the clouds is head coach, Lovie Smith. After halftime (and mind you they were losing at the half) the sideline reporter informed the nation that Lovie is officially on crack:
“...Lovie Smith said that the Bears really dominated that first half...”
OK, again I paraphrase a bit, but that was the gist of what she said. So riddle me this... if you dominated, how are you losing? The Bears got whupped in ever aspect of the game... our defense played well, but then collapsed at key moments (like the 99 yard TD pass!!!)... the Offense was mildly productive (rookie RB Matt Forte played well... just don't expect him to score from the 1-Yard line) except for when it was self-destructing.
My buddy Dave hit the nail on the head... the Bears should have traded Devin Hester last season. He's a waste of space right now. He caught a pass early in the game and took it all the way for a TD but then dropped 4-5 passes and did nothing at all returning punts. For the amount of money he is making, anything short of a TD a week is a waste of time.
Well, I resisted the urge to throw a temper tantrum and just drank another beer. Needless to say, Monday was a rough day.
Alright... back to the video games...
Peace out...
Heitz
Hell, I've been screaming recession from a mountain top since the beginning of 2007! Hmmm, seems that is still ahead of what the Feds are finally fessing up to. Either I am brilliant or they lie too much... maybe a little of both.
I guess as someone who was cut loose from gainful employment 4 times in the past 24 months and 5 times overall since 2003, I have a pretty different perspective from most folks when it comes to being out of work, down-on-yer-luck, and just putting the nose to the ol' grindstone when I do have a job. Had a conversation this morning with someone who hit the proverbial nail on the head... "I feel happy just to HAVE a job right now!"
I was part of a BBC radio show a few weeks ago that some folks may have heard... I plastered it all over my Facebook page... Talk about a whole “OTHER” perspective!!! I was the unique person on the call because I had been through so many layoffs. And not just being laid off... I mean, I was right in the thick of the “Sub-prime Tsunami” as my pal Darrin likes to call it. I worked for Fremont Investment & Loan, the first company the FDIC really came in and just flat-out shut down. I think worked for IndyMac bank who suffered a similar fate and is now being controlled by the Feds...
I then went to a division of Bear Stearns and we all know they are now a branch office of JP Morgan Chase. And now of course JP Morgan Chase is laying folks off here in the Tampa area! Good thing I didn't go over there, huh!!!
Finally, Robert Half cut me loose (well, I cut them loose technically but I only just beat them to the punch I bet) and I hear now that the entire division I was a part of is Adios!
As crazy as it seems, all of those failed companies crashed for similar reasons, and all of them had too big of an ego to realize they were in trouble. I was in meetings and conference calls with ALL of these companies that sorta went like this:
Or specifically in the case of Bear Stearns: “We've made a profit for 87 consecutive years!!! We're not going under!!!”
No lie, by the time I left Robert Half in August I could lead the conference calls myself. I heard the same ridiculous, egomaniacal rants from so many executive levels folks that I just couldn't even listen half the time. NONE of them would come to the table and say, “OK, times are tough... here's what we are going to do to weather the storm and ensure you still have a job”.
Sadly, many of them are STILL out of work. As I said before... “I feel lucky to have a job!!!” and it's the sad truth!
The good news is, the new job I have is great! I am a computer geek again! WAA HOO!!! I had a guy say to me a month ago... “Well, I feel safe because no one ever lays off IT people!!!”
hmmmm... it was all I could do NOT to punch the guy in the nose. Talk about having yer head buried in the sand!
***
But back to the BBC thing... some food for thought...
The unemployment in the US is still below 10% (actually, just looked online and US Dept of Labor says 6.5%)... one person on the round table discussion said that the unemployment in his country (I want to say it was Ghana or something) is in the neighborhood f 75%!!!
Imagine if you and you entire family were all out of work and no prospects for work in the next 12 months... seriously, that is how much of the world is!!! There was a caller from China on the show... here's what he had to say (paraphrasing a bit here):
“It's a foreign concept to us here where there are no 'rights'... no right to work, can't vote... I mean, just the thought that you just selected your country's leader is mind-boggling”...
I've always been one to keep things in perspective, I guess. Even though I have been through the ringer over the past 5 years, it could be MUCH, MUCH worse... I could be out of work AND have no one to blame but myself??? hmmm... not sure I like the sound of that.
…
In other news, the Chicago Bears severely suck ass. Anyone that saw the ass-whuppin' the Minnesota Vikings laid on them Sunday night realizes that. Of course, one person still with his head in the clouds is head coach, Lovie Smith. After halftime (and mind you they were losing at the half) the sideline reporter informed the nation that Lovie is officially on crack:
“...Lovie Smith said that the Bears really dominated that first half...”
OK, again I paraphrase a bit, but that was the gist of what she said. So riddle me this... if you dominated, how are you losing? The Bears got whupped in ever aspect of the game... our defense played well, but then collapsed at key moments (like the 99 yard TD pass!!!)... the Offense was mildly productive (rookie RB Matt Forte played well... just don't expect him to score from the 1-Yard line) except for when it was self-destructing.
My buddy Dave hit the nail on the head... the Bears should have traded Devin Hester last season. He's a waste of space right now. He caught a pass early in the game and took it all the way for a TD but then dropped 4-5 passes and did nothing at all returning punts. For the amount of money he is making, anything short of a TD a week is a waste of time.
Well, I resisted the urge to throw a temper tantrum and just drank another beer. Needless to say, Monday was a rough day.
Alright... back to the video games...
Peace out...
Heitz
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
The 100th Episode of Heitz!!!
Two words...
HOLY SHIT!
All I can say... not that I have the reader base of a REAL blogger or columnist, but 100 posts is like a milestone I guess... Right? I mean, I'm sure Seinfeld had a big ol' bash for his 100th episode... how about David Letterman? Hell, he probably can't even remember his 100th episode!!!
So, I thought I'd find some fun stuff to talk about today... instead of my usual boring drivel and nonsense. ;-)
OK, first I want to call for the removal of a couple folks... Tony Kornheiser and the Geico Cavemen.
The original Geico Caveman commercials were cute, nbothing more. I guarantee you NO ONE bought Geico insurance based on some dumb ass caveman commercials. How that ad campaign is still going is ludicrous. Did Geico get painted into a corner on a 10 year contract or something> I mean these things are getting worse and worse... what the hell does Billy Jean King and a Caveman who can't read have to do with me buying insurance??? And seriously, who believes that cute blonde will be on the beach with a hairy ass caveman who cries like a sissy with a skinned knee when the ad trails behind an airplane overhead.
Didn't we get rid of the failed Caveman sitcom in the first season? That was about the worst idea ever... "Let's take those cavemen that everyone hates and make a whole show about them!!!" YEAH!!! FUCK OFF CAVEMEN!!! There is a reason those guys are extinct, OK... they're hairy and they suck, and they are truly NOT funny.
Speaking of hairy... how about someone losing their hair... Honestly, I could give two shyts what my hair looks like. I shave my head down pretty close every week or two and could care less that I have a lumpy head and look like I'm going to boot camp. But Tony Kornheiser is taking it to a whole new level. I really never dreamed that some day I would sit down and seriously spend time writing about a combover, but ferchrissakes this guy needs some help.
OK, forget the fact that he is absolutely useless on Monday Night Football. I think the only person I disagree with more is well... hell, probably no one! The fact that the Geico Caveman commercials are helping pay his salary is just an absolute travesty... I mean, I'm all for Geico crashing and burning for sticking with that ridiculous campaign, but even I can get better bang for my buck than having Tony Kornkeiser on prime time television!
I can only equate my dislike for Kornheiser and his "hair" and lack of anything to add to the equation to the old Super Bowl Halftime specials... remember when EVERYONE on the planet flipped over to Fox to catch the Simpsons halftime special??? Ahhh, those were the good ol' days... now we get Janet Jackson's plastic tit if we're lucky. Only problem is, there's nothing to flip over to at halftime EVERY Monday night! I mean, there is (Prison Break, Heroes, etc... ) but those are hour long shows and Tivo is already taking care of that.
Bottom line is Kornheiser should just shave his head. At least then he'll just be a moron instead of a moron with a ridiculous combover.
Maybe, just maybe, he can help the Cavemen along... teach them how to do a whole body combover... I know, that would be ridiculous... why not just shave them too??? I'm all about baby steps... as long as we are making progress I am happy.
I only have a couple other topics today I wanted to share.
First off... pediatricians... GO TO HELL!!!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27035470/
We got all these doctors on the planet and some of them think it's vital to tell us not to have cool pets because they can get yer kids sick. Turns out that children under the age of 5 are still developing their immune system so are very susceptible to all kinds of diseases.
No shit??? Are they serious? I thought my nieces and nephews had diarrhea and ear infections and shit because they enjoyed crapping their pants! Did I really need a doctor to tell me that pet iguanas and hamsters have different germs than a puppy. Wow! All that education and that's all they got? Shit, I was a "C" student at Southern Illinois University and I got that figured out.
Seriously... geniuses... luv 'em...
And last but not least...
I am sort of a Soccer fan... love the FIFA leagues over seas like the British Premier league and the Bundesliga... good stuff... Well, I just decided that my new favorite team is Newcastle United. Joe Kinear is seriously my favorite coach of ANY team or sport since Mike Ditka coached the Bears back in the day.
Hell, I never even heard of Joe Kinnear until this rant but he is now my new favorite person on the planet. I mean, I don't drop that many F-Bombs EVER! Anyone that has been drunk with me knows, once I get lit I turn into a grade-A, South Side of Chicago jack-ass. This guy makes me look like a choir boy with a mouth clean enough to kiss a priest! (Above the belt... keep it clean people!!!)
I am now a fan of Newcastle United, and I will be until this guy either quits, gets fired, gets killed by a family member of one of these reporters... doesn't matter... I may go get me a Kinnear jersey or something...
I am sitting here listening to this press conference while I type and it literally is 10 minutes of him dishing it out to numerous reporters and not taking a bit of shit from ANY of them. The guy certainly has great big balls of steel in my book.
So, anyhoo...
100 posts in the books. I feel like I need to get my head out of my ass sometimes, but then I read some of the things I have written say last year, and I think... damn, that's some stupid shit!
All I can say and promise is at least 100 more posts of stupid shit. I promise rarely to make sense, always to keep the filter off, and occasionally hit the spell-check button.
Peace out...
Heitz
HOLY SHIT!
All I can say... not that I have the reader base of a REAL blogger or columnist, but 100 posts is like a milestone I guess... Right? I mean, I'm sure Seinfeld had a big ol' bash for his 100th episode... how about David Letterman? Hell, he probably can't even remember his 100th episode!!!
So, I thought I'd find some fun stuff to talk about today... instead of my usual boring drivel and nonsense. ;-)
OK, first I want to call for the removal of a couple folks... Tony Kornheiser and the Geico Cavemen.
The original Geico Caveman commercials were cute, nbothing more. I guarantee you NO ONE bought Geico insurance based on some dumb ass caveman commercials. How that ad campaign is still going is ludicrous. Did Geico get painted into a corner on a 10 year contract or something> I mean these things are getting worse and worse... what the hell does Billy Jean King and a Caveman who can't read have to do with me buying insurance??? And seriously, who believes that cute blonde will be on the beach with a hairy ass caveman who cries like a sissy with a skinned knee when the ad trails behind an airplane overhead.
Didn't we get rid of the failed Caveman sitcom in the first season? That was about the worst idea ever... "Let's take those cavemen that everyone hates and make a whole show about them!!!" YEAH!!! FUCK OFF CAVEMEN!!! There is a reason those guys are extinct, OK... they're hairy and they suck, and they are truly NOT funny.
Speaking of hairy... how about someone losing their hair... Honestly, I could give two shyts what my hair looks like. I shave my head down pretty close every week or two and could care less that I have a lumpy head and look like I'm going to boot camp. But Tony Kornheiser is taking it to a whole new level. I really never dreamed that some day I would sit down and seriously spend time writing about a combover, but ferchrissakes this guy needs some help.
OK, forget the fact that he is absolutely useless on Monday Night Football. I think the only person I disagree with more is well... hell, probably no one! The fact that the Geico Caveman commercials are helping pay his salary is just an absolute travesty... I mean, I'm all for Geico crashing and burning for sticking with that ridiculous campaign, but even I can get better bang for my buck than having Tony Kornkeiser on prime time television!
I can only equate my dislike for Kornheiser and his "hair" and lack of anything to add to the equation to the old Super Bowl Halftime specials... remember when EVERYONE on the planet flipped over to Fox to catch the Simpsons halftime special??? Ahhh, those were the good ol' days... now we get Janet Jackson's plastic tit if we're lucky. Only problem is, there's nothing to flip over to at halftime EVERY Monday night! I mean, there is (Prison Break, Heroes, etc... ) but those are hour long shows and Tivo is already taking care of that.
Bottom line is Kornheiser should just shave his head. At least then he'll just be a moron instead of a moron with a ridiculous combover.
Maybe, just maybe, he can help the Cavemen along... teach them how to do a whole body combover... I know, that would be ridiculous... why not just shave them too??? I'm all about baby steps... as long as we are making progress I am happy.
I only have a couple other topics today I wanted to share.
First off... pediatricians... GO TO HELL!!!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27035470/
We got all these doctors on the planet and some of them think it's vital to tell us not to have cool pets because they can get yer kids sick. Turns out that children under the age of 5 are still developing their immune system so are very susceptible to all kinds of diseases.
No shit??? Are they serious? I thought my nieces and nephews had diarrhea and ear infections and shit because they enjoyed crapping their pants! Did I really need a doctor to tell me that pet iguanas and hamsters have different germs than a puppy. Wow! All that education and that's all they got? Shit, I was a "C" student at Southern Illinois University and I got that figured out.
Seriously... geniuses... luv 'em...
And last but not least...
I am sort of a Soccer fan... love the FIFA leagues over seas like the British Premier league and the Bundesliga... good stuff... Well, I just decided that my new favorite team is Newcastle United. Joe Kinear is seriously my favorite coach of ANY team or sport since Mike Ditka coached the Bears back in the day.
Hell, I never even heard of Joe Kinnear until this rant but he is now my new favorite person on the planet. I mean, I don't drop that many F-Bombs EVER! Anyone that has been drunk with me knows, once I get lit I turn into a grade-A, South Side of Chicago jack-ass. This guy makes me look like a choir boy with a mouth clean enough to kiss a priest! (Above the belt... keep it clean people!!!)
I am now a fan of Newcastle United, and I will be until this guy either quits, gets fired, gets killed by a family member of one of these reporters... doesn't matter... I may go get me a Kinnear jersey or something...
I am sitting here listening to this press conference while I type and it literally is 10 minutes of him dishing it out to numerous reporters and not taking a bit of shit from ANY of them. The guy certainly has great big balls of steel in my book.
So, anyhoo...
100 posts in the books. I feel like I need to get my head out of my ass sometimes, but then I read some of the things I have written say last year, and I think... damn, that's some stupid shit!
All I can say and promise is at least 100 more posts of stupid shit. I promise rarely to make sense, always to keep the filter off, and occasionally hit the spell-check button.
Peace out...
Heitz
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Feeling kinda - ya know - blah....
I was reading some news feeds and I'm not sure if I am just like... outta touch... or what the deal is. Who the hell is Steve Fossett??? Why does his name sound familiar and why should I care that he crashed his plane in 2007 and some hikers found the wreckage???
Am I a bad person for not giving two hoots? Doubtful... I mean, I've worked for 3 companies who have gone out of business in the past 24 months, am barely scraping by to keep food in my belly, and some billionaire who crashed his plane last year is news??? Excuse me for forgetting poor Steve Fossett...
Now, the person I am concerned about is the guy that beat up a 16 year old girl in a McDonald's recently. I mean, how hungry have you got to be to defend your spot in line by resorting to fisticuffs??? Severely hungry, I say! Been there, ain't done THAT! I mean, he really cold-coked that kid... crazy... oh yeah, best part... he had his kids with him!!! What a great father and role model he is!!! All these African American dad's that are nowhere to be found and this guy sets this kind of example for his kids. Thanks buddy...
I am still at work... yay... construction crews are here so gotta stay and make sure we don't end up with like new penthouse views on accident I think. ;-) that would be way over the top... even for me!
Watched the Rays beat the White Sox in game 1 of their playoff series. I told a friend of mine this morning that the Rays would go further in this years playoffs than the Cubs would or I'd buy her a beer. Seriously, the Cubs were the best home tea min baseball this year and they laid a serious egg last night. So much for this being "their year", I guess... I'm sure if they were going to do more than roll over they'd at least be able to throw some strikes that didn't get blasted into the bleachers... or may be I am expecting too much???
In any event... I am back in the saddle... literally and figuratively... found a web-site looking for some football writers and going to get back into that along with my blogging. Shyt... when will I have time to get back to work on my damn novel... OK, I'll do that on Saturdays. ;-) I'll be sure to link to my Bears stuff as I get rolling on it... gotta do some digging...
Alright... gotta be close to being done for the evening... time to kick back, watch the crew work, and slam some more soda. YAY!!!
Peace out
Heitz
Am I a bad person for not giving two hoots? Doubtful... I mean, I've worked for 3 companies who have gone out of business in the past 24 months, am barely scraping by to keep food in my belly, and some billionaire who crashed his plane last year is news??? Excuse me for forgetting poor Steve Fossett...
Now, the person I am concerned about is the guy that beat up a 16 year old girl in a McDonald's recently. I mean, how hungry have you got to be to defend your spot in line by resorting to fisticuffs??? Severely hungry, I say! Been there, ain't done THAT! I mean, he really cold-coked that kid... crazy... oh yeah, best part... he had his kids with him!!! What a great father and role model he is!!! All these African American dad's that are nowhere to be found and this guy sets this kind of example for his kids. Thanks buddy...
I am still at work... yay... construction crews are here so gotta stay and make sure we don't end up with like new penthouse views on accident I think. ;-) that would be way over the top... even for me!
Watched the Rays beat the White Sox in game 1 of their playoff series. I told a friend of mine this morning that the Rays would go further in this years playoffs than the Cubs would or I'd buy her a beer. Seriously, the Cubs were the best home tea min baseball this year and they laid a serious egg last night. So much for this being "their year", I guess... I'm sure if they were going to do more than roll over they'd at least be able to throw some strikes that didn't get blasted into the bleachers... or may be I am expecting too much???
In any event... I am back in the saddle... literally and figuratively... found a web-site looking for some football writers and going to get back into that along with my blogging. Shyt... when will I have time to get back to work on my damn novel... OK, I'll do that on Saturdays. ;-) I'll be sure to link to my Bears stuff as I get rolling on it... gotta do some digging...
Alright... gotta be close to being done for the evening... time to kick back, watch the crew work, and slam some more soda. YAY!!!
Peace out
Heitz
Friday, September 26, 2008
ok... friday pm blues blog
so, I am SOOOOOOO ready to get my lanky butt out of the office for the weekend and like time has stopped... So I hit some news feeds... check this out...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26901780/
Just thinking out loud on this one but if I were planning on invading a country, I'm starting with the Ukraine. Seriously... they let pirates off the coast of Somalia hijack a ship with 33 Russian tanks onboard as cargo!!! 33 tanks! You know, the ones that shoot huge bombs and blow shit up!!! PIRATES took them!!! We're talking Captain Jack Sparrow now has his hands on 33 Russian tanks!!! un-frikkin-believable!!!
The report says that the pirates didn't know what kind of cargo was on the ship, but I'm thinking if I was transporting 33 tanks along with parts and ammo for them, I might want to have some dudes armed to the teeth protecting my investment!
So, now we have a bunch of Somali-Scallywags with Russian tanks. And the article says they will have a hard time selling them... uhhhhhh... HELLO!!! ever stop to think who we are talking about here? They'll roll them on land and use them to kill stuff and blow things up you dumb-asses!!!
Seriously... I'm invading the Ukraine like next Tuesday if anyone wants to tag along.
And then the FDA warned US citizens not to consume Mr. Brown coffee products... Seriously? Mr. Brown??? Is this the same Mr. Brown that put all our favorite rock-stars in rehab or the one that leaves a stain in your drawers??? Who the hell comes up with these brand names anyways??? I saw a commercial last night for something called the Snuggie. It's basically a monk's robes... or better yet, it really looks like the robes you see cult leaders wearing as they lead their flock to the Mothership. Anyone seen the Family Guy episode with the guy in the White Robe (season 1, episode 3)? Seriously, same damn thing! All these ridiculously happy people holding kids and pets and shit in their big death robes. Crazy! I shot Diet Coke out my nose when I saw it!
http://www.getsnuggie.com
I guess I don't really need to know who buys this stuff but at 2 for $19.95 I'm sure there are plenty of people that will suck down some Kool-Aid and wake up in a better place. I say Good Riddance!!!
Peace out
Heitz
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26901780/
Just thinking out loud on this one but if I were planning on invading a country, I'm starting with the Ukraine. Seriously... they let pirates off the coast of Somalia hijack a ship with 33 Russian tanks onboard as cargo!!! 33 tanks! You know, the ones that shoot huge bombs and blow shit up!!! PIRATES took them!!! We're talking Captain Jack Sparrow now has his hands on 33 Russian tanks!!! un-frikkin-believable!!!
The report says that the pirates didn't know what kind of cargo was on the ship, but I'm thinking if I was transporting 33 tanks along with parts and ammo for them, I might want to have some dudes armed to the teeth protecting my investment!
So, now we have a bunch of Somali-Scallywags with Russian tanks. And the article says they will have a hard time selling them... uhhhhhh... HELLO!!! ever stop to think who we are talking about here? They'll roll them on land and use them to kill stuff and blow things up you dumb-asses!!!
Seriously... I'm invading the Ukraine like next Tuesday if anyone wants to tag along.
And then the FDA warned US citizens not to consume Mr. Brown coffee products... Seriously? Mr. Brown??? Is this the same Mr. Brown that put all our favorite rock-stars in rehab or the one that leaves a stain in your drawers??? Who the hell comes up with these brand names anyways??? I saw a commercial last night for something called the Snuggie. It's basically a monk's robes... or better yet, it really looks like the robes you see cult leaders wearing as they lead their flock to the Mothership. Anyone seen the Family Guy episode with the guy in the White Robe (season 1, episode 3)? Seriously, same damn thing! All these ridiculously happy people holding kids and pets and shit in their big death robes. Crazy! I shot Diet Coke out my nose when I saw it!
http://www.getsnuggie.com
I guess I don't really need to know who buys this stuff but at 2 for $19.95 I'm sure there are plenty of people that will suck down some Kool-Aid and wake up in a better place. I say Good Riddance!!!
Peace out
Heitz
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Don't get pulled over in W.VA.
No lie... this shyt is true -
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26877682/
As I pointed out on my Facebook profile the other day, West Virginia is pretty wacked out. this guy, pulled over for a DUI scooted his chair over and farted, waving the aromatic smells in the direction of the arresting officers. They slapped a Battery charge on him!!!
So, when I was a kid and my dad sat on my chest and tickled me and accidentally let one loose... I could had him hit with Assault & Battery, right??? I mean, shit man, I was ABUSED!!!
Needless to say, the only time I will spend in West Virginia is when my plane is flying over on my way somewhere less shitty.
Other fun headlines this week:
Clay "Yes He is Still in the News" Aiken... apparently some folks weren't aware of his gayness, so they had to announce on the news that YES he is in fact gay. I mean, forget the fact that he dresses way better than me, has great skin, and sings like really NON-manly songs (eg, AC/DC, Metallica, etc...). How else would we have figured it out??? I should ask some of my gay friends... they'd be like, "oh, hells yeah he's a fairy!" Not a very good kisser I'm guessing which is why he feels the need to advertise his homosexuality to those that might not have been aware. Must've burned too many bridges with his lack of ability so he's looking for some new hook-ups.
How about the $700,000,000,000 bailout President Bush and Congress are mulling over for the financial industry? Saw an interesting comment about taking that money and just giving it to the taxpayers... I like it... let's say there are 200,000,000 taxpayers (totally guessing there, may be more, may be less)... That would be $3,500 each!!! Ya know what I could do with $3,500??? How about paying off two credit cards that are about to jump to collection because I went from 6 figures to NO figures due to the crisis at hand??? Right off the bat we could help the people that need it most (us poor taxpayers!!!) and I'm sure the fact that people paying some of their bills would make this financial crisis look MUCH better... just a hunch...
Lindsay Lohan is gay??? Whatev... see same reasoning for Clay Aiken except she's hot. Who cares... all those Hollywood starlets are at the very least BI so who gives a shit if one says they are full-fledged gay? Like that makes me think she isn't hot anymore? Seriously, do the news feeds really need to fill my Inbox with this crap?
alrighty then...
time to get back to work... full weekend on tap so I gotta make a few biscuits in the basket before tomorrow!
peace out
heitz
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26877682/
As I pointed out on my Facebook profile the other day, West Virginia is pretty wacked out. this guy, pulled over for a DUI scooted his chair over and farted, waving the aromatic smells in the direction of the arresting officers. They slapped a Battery charge on him!!!
So, when I was a kid and my dad sat on my chest and tickled me and accidentally let one loose... I could had him hit with Assault & Battery, right??? I mean, shit man, I was ABUSED!!!
Needless to say, the only time I will spend in West Virginia is when my plane is flying over on my way somewhere less shitty.
Other fun headlines this week:
Clay "Yes He is Still in the News" Aiken... apparently some folks weren't aware of his gayness, so they had to announce on the news that YES he is in fact gay. I mean, forget the fact that he dresses way better than me, has great skin, and sings like really NON-manly songs (eg, AC/DC, Metallica, etc...). How else would we have figured it out??? I should ask some of my gay friends... they'd be like, "oh, hells yeah he's a fairy!" Not a very good kisser I'm guessing which is why he feels the need to advertise his homosexuality to those that might not have been aware. Must've burned too many bridges with his lack of ability so he's looking for some new hook-ups.
How about the $700,000,000,000 bailout President Bush and Congress are mulling over for the financial industry? Saw an interesting comment about taking that money and just giving it to the taxpayers... I like it... let's say there are 200,000,000 taxpayers (totally guessing there, may be more, may be less)... That would be $3,500 each!!! Ya know what I could do with $3,500??? How about paying off two credit cards that are about to jump to collection because I went from 6 figures to NO figures due to the crisis at hand??? Right off the bat we could help the people that need it most (us poor taxpayers!!!) and I'm sure the fact that people paying some of their bills would make this financial crisis look MUCH better... just a hunch...
Lindsay Lohan is gay??? Whatev... see same reasoning for Clay Aiken except she's hot. Who cares... all those Hollywood starlets are at the very least BI so who gives a shit if one says they are full-fledged gay? Like that makes me think she isn't hot anymore? Seriously, do the news feeds really need to fill my Inbox with this crap?
alrighty then...
time to get back to work... full weekend on tap so I gotta make a few biscuits in the basket before tomorrow!
peace out
heitz
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