Happy Saturday!

Well, I feel a little lazy for not making my daily rounds here for you on time this week, so I figured I'd go camp out at Starbucks for a little while. Not a bad choice, I tell ya... Saturday morning talent is not bad.

It's been a crazy week in the life of Heitz. The mortgage business is still in it's "implosion state"; the Bears lost Sunday night which of put me in a funk to start the week off; and Summer is officially over! Shit... I live in Florida, it's summer every damn day!

On top of all that, I have been trying to find time to work on a couple other projects, one being a novel. The problem is, if I don't write every day (and I haven't been) I lose track of the story! You would think that wouldn't happen since it's my story, but well, that's my story...

On top of all that, I am considering ANOTHER career change. With the demise of the mortgage and real estate industry, I am considering re-inventing myself yet again. I figure what would a decade be without two career changes, right?

So, with that in mind, I am going... SHOPPING!!! God, if only I were gay and shouted that out in a sing-songy kinda voice, huh? Classic...

I figure I have worked for FIFTEEN different companies since graduating college, and in that entire time I have owned a grand total of TWO dress suits. WOW! I actually had to break out my resume and try and recall the five companies NOT listed on it because they are so long ago. Now, I am also counting jobs such as when I worked as a bouncer in Chicago to make extra money, and my job at the MALL here in Tampa when I first moved here to ensure I could feed myself. Not really going to ever put those on a resume but they come up from time to time.

So I'm thinking "WHAT THE HELL!" and I'm gonna buy me a couple suits. Of course, suits are good for interviewing in; and you just never know... all these years of business casual MAY have just been holding me back. Maybe I have not been discovered as David Letterman's successor because I dress like a bum. WHO KNOWS? I mean, how many late night hosts sit around on the air in shorts and flip flops?

So, that's my plan for the day... well, for after I get my ass moving on the next chapter of my book. Hopefully by the time I actually have something worth reading I'll have this whole "being an adult" thing figured out.

Don't count on it though...

Peace out
Heitz

Sports Guy Thursday!

Alright, let's talk sports, shall we?

Or are we just going to talk about sports figures and their mess-ups? Hmmm... maybe a little bit of both.

So, Mike Vick, already having pled guilty to dogfighting charges in Virginia and awaiting sentencing, failed a drug test and is now on Curfew! Yep, you heard that right... he's basically confined to his house from 10pm to 6am. Little ankle bracelet and everything I assume.

Now, call me crazy, but is this really punishment? I mean, one of his co-defendants also tested positive for drugs a couple months ago and they are keeping him in a jail cell until his sentencing. Why does Vick get to sit at home? Granted, most folks are in bed between the hours of 10pm and 6am so this is no real tough sentence here. I guess fame does have its rewards.

The bottom line is, one more hiccup between now and his sentencing date in December and he will be tossed right into GP. (That's General Population for the layperson out there reading this...)

Of course, the question in my mind is this, "What does this say about Vick the person?"

Countless talking heads have appeared on ESPN, CNN, Foxnews, etc... saying how sincere they felt Mike Vick was in his statement after pleading guilty. What do they think now? Is Vick truly sorry for his actions? Is he repentant? Does he realize that what he is doing is WRONG? Now, put aside the arguments for legalizing drugs... Vick is awaiting sentencing on felony charges that have probably destroyed what was a very bright career. He's bored... he wants to relax... probably feeling a little pent up watching football instead of out there slinging the rock.

What's a boy to do? Well, when I feel a little itch, I usually either call an escort or... oops! Wait a sec... That's not me! I turn on the good ol' Xbox! Nothing like a little Grand Theft Auto to put me right back where I need to be, right? Or in Vick's case, he could just fire up Madden Football on his Xbox. At least on the Xbox, Vick is not heading to jail.

Some more strange behavior... Barry Bonds, as we all know, has gotten the Home Run title. Now the Giants say he will not be back next year. It's time to find someone that can play everyday and move towards the future. There are three games left in this season for the Giants, in Los Angeles against their arch-rivals the Dodgers. A beautiful weekend series for Bonds to say farewell to the team!

Oh, what's that? Bonds is what? Sitting out? You mean he ain't playing? WHAT THE F*CK???

So, Bonds has decided to SKIP the final series of the season against his nemesis Dodgers in LA. I can't say I am surprised. I mean this guy has ZERO class. Before last season he was a free agent and NO ONE offered him a contract except his beloved Giants. No one wants him on their roster. He's a liability in the field at this point in his career, and outside of San Francisco EVERYONE thinks he is a cheater. So, WHY should he play this weekend?

Well, honestly I thought he should have been suspended from baseball anyways so I could honestly care less. But I'm sure there are a lot of Dodger fans that were waiting for their last opportunity to toss a syringe at him... or maybe a big giant beach ball with his face painted on it.

Can you tell I don't like Barry Bonds?

Good...

Final sports item today... Wish my Bears luck this weekend folks! Rex Grossman, here's your clipboard and visor. Enjoy watching from the sidelines. I don't know what you did with last season's NFC Player of the Month from September, but we would have LOVED to see that kid again. Instead, we have to hope that Brian Griese can be the opposite of Bad Rex.

Heck, with the way the Bears play defense and Special Teams, all we need is a guy that does not screw up too much. Hell, hand the ball to Battering Ram Wannabe Cedric Benson 30 times per game, throw a few passes around and we should be back in the Super Bowl in February.

I guess the only problem with that plan is our defense looks like it needs a permanent M*A*S*H Unit stationed on the sidelines for them.

In any event, my fingers are crossed that we get what we need out of Griese. I think he can get it done and give us 2-3 years of production. Meanwhile it's time to look at drafting another QB, or finding one buried on someones roster, like a young Brett Favre or something....

Oh wait... Grossman was supposed to be the next Favre...

Shit...

Peace Out...
Heitz

Self Inflicted Day Off

Well, I must say, some of us were a bit on the "fuzzy" side yesterday. I felt like one of those dream sequences in a movie where the edges are all blurred. Nothing 10 hours of sleep and a fresh pot of coffee can't remedy!

So, I am back in full force today! Had an interesting couple days, I can assure you. After the debacle Sunday night with the Bears and the Cowboys, I also had the opportunity to witness what I can only call a "Hip-Hip Debacle". I saw a hip-hop performance the other night from a group called... no, I am not makig this up... Blac Soap.

Now, I have not really gone on record with my opinions of the Tampa Bay music scene. Of course, living in Chicago my whole life I was immersed in such legendary music venues as the Double Door, Kingston Mines, Buddy Guys' Legends, etc... I have now been in Tampa four years and I try to take advantage of every opportunity to see local musicians. Of course, being a busy guy, I don't get out as much as I'd like. BUT, for the most part it has been disappointing cover bands, although there have been exceptions.

So, Blac Soap gets on stage and I was definitely ready for something good. These guys have won awards in the area for their talent, so I don't know if maybe they just were having a bad night. But, Blac Soap sounded more like a Blac Hole. The acoustics were not so good, but the other musical acts that night sounded pretty good. These guys, in my opinion, were just plain awful Now, I've been listening to hip-hop and rap since the good ol' days of Run-DMC, Easy-E, and Public Enemy back in the mid-80's I've hear a lot of good rap, and I have heard a LOT of bad Rap. I would classify these guys as BAD! But, until I hear more i guess I should reserve judgement. I mean, how many 1-Hit wonders are running around out there? Anyone remember the "Safety Dance"? Shit, they are still playing that stupid song on EVERY 80's station in the country although you'd be hard-pressed to find ANYONE who liked it when it was new.

Hmmmm... I didn't realize I was going to turn todays blog into a music review, but there it is. I'm gonna do these guys a favor though and reserve my full judgment until after I see them perform again. Maybe I'll pick up their CD and see how they sound when properly mixed and edited. Until then, I'll just keep doing what I do.

Cuz that's how I roll...
Peace out...
heitz

Blah, blah, blah...

First off... let me just get this off my chest here real quick...

REX GROSSMAN SUCKS MONKEY BALLS!!!

Ahhhh... much better... well, not really...

Seriously, staying up til midnight last night seemed like such a great plan. The Bears would beat up the Cowboys, leaving T.O. with no little quips for the media this week. Tony Romo would be revealed as the man behind the curtain. The Bears would get back on track after a rocky beginning to the season.

Obviously, the Gods of the NFL had different thoughts. So, here are my thoughts...

First, Rex Grossman should put his house on the market immediately. He will not be in Chicago next season and the housing market is VERY soft in Chicago. It may very well take him 8-12 months to sell his place. Get read for the move NOW, Rex.

Second, I seriously considered putting my head in the microwave last night and setting it on HIGH for like 5 minutes. Nah, it wouldn't make me feel any better about the debacle I had just witnessed, but if the urban legends are true, I'd never have to witness a Rex Grossman offense again.

Third, I think I will NOT take a shower today. That way I will smell as bad as the stink emanating from my television last night.

Finally... ahhh hell... I'm too tired to come up with any more. :(

On the Western Front, I have been roling through "The Chocolate War" and I must say, it's not too over the top after those first couple chapters. Jerry, the skinny main character has just put his foot down and said he will NOT sell chocolates for the school fund raiser. WOW! The hair on the back of my neck bristled at the thought! I think this is the part where things start to go horribly wrong for Jerry. You see, not only is he NOT selling chocolates, he is also the Junior Varsity Quarterback on the football team. I'm sure there is a serious ass-whipping headed his way soon. We shall see how this unfolds... about halfway through the book now... some interesting thoughts though on some of the stuff going on...

I went to a Public School so I am not sure if this is a "Private School Thing", but what's the deal with secret societies? I'm not talking about college fraternities and the Illuminati... I can't imagine there having been any kind of secret society in my High School. I mean, you had your jocks, nerds, homies, drugged out hippy types, preps, etc... I was fortunate enough to be able to wander from one group to the next pretty easily, but never a whisper of a secret society.

Come to think of it, I don't really know a lot of folks that went to a Prep School like the one in this book. I think one guy I knew in Chicago did. I think those high-brow folks tend to avoid the tough neighborhoods like I grew up in. The library wasn't so much a place to learn as it was a place to avoid the gang-banger looking to hit you with a bat. Can't really focus on studying when you are just glad to be alive!

OK... I think it's nap time already... I KNOW... it's not even 9am... that damn putrid display on television last night wore me out. I had nightmares of completed passes and efficient offensive playcalling all night. Woke up in a cold sweat twice... ugh...

Peace Out
Heitz

Filling My Brain

Good lord, I'm in trouble... So, I went to Borders yesterday to pick up "The Chocolate War". I just couldn't wait to start reading about violence, swearing, and masturbation! YIPPEEEEE!

Of course, me in Borders is the equivalent of a kid in a candy store. Frikkin Alan Greenspan has a new book out that is being hailed as the "2nd Coming of Adam Smith". A new book called "Family Guy and Philosophy: A Cure for the Petarded" was staring at me from the shelf... of course I bought it...

My problem is, between trying to make a living, writing daily, looking for a new career path (see my previous blogs about the destruction of the mortgage industry), and trying to squeeze in a round of golf every once in a whiel, when am I supposed to have time to read all these books??? I am half-tempted to go apply to be a librarian... although I know they have degrees and stuff for that line of work; I'm not sure my Economics degree and background in Sales and IT will cut it.

I'm going to have to hope for some sort of Billionaire subsidy to allow me to just read & write full-time. Maybe that email I got the other day about Bill Gates and Warren Buffett giving away money might come in handy.... maybe J.K. Rowling would LOVE to have herself a little tax write-off over here in the States... hmmmm.... maybe I'll win more than $5.50 playing the Lottery.

So, back to the book, "The Chocolate War"... already two references to masturbation, a couple goddams, and one bastard and I'm only on Page 48. But, so far you can see where the story is headed and why this book is intended for young teens. There is a lot of peer pressure in the world, and part of this story is going to hinge on whether or not Jerry, the main character, succumbs to the pressure or has the nerve to stand up to it and "do the right thing".

I'll keep you posted as the story progesses...

On to the weekend!!! The Bears don't play til Sunday night so I've got a whole weekend ahead to get some of this reading done. I'm also thinking this could be a good weekend to go sit in the woods somewhere and look for some endangered species... nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Peace out...
Heitz

Should we burn those books or just ban them?

I stumbled on a bit of news this morning that I really couldn't stop thinking about. It sounds like some upset parents in Chicago are pushing to get a book banned because of what they refer to as "inappropriate content".

The book in question is "The Chocolate War", written by Robert Cormier. I've never read it so I can only assume they made it mandatory reading AFTER I got out of the wonderful Chicago Public School system. (All my limbs were still attached, thank God!!!)

According to the article on the Chicago Tribune's web site, this book comes under scrutiny EVERY year by parents who don't want their kids reading it. I wonder... How many of these parents have read the book? Do they know what exactly it is they are pissed off about?

I guess it's a little like my aversion to Tom Cruise movies. Can't stand the guy...

"Hey, we need a REALLY bland performance for this role... nothing over the top... oh, and he will do a lot of running... Tom Cruise is available??? SHEEEIT!!! Sign that boy up!!!"

I think that conversation has happened with EVERY Tom Cruise movie... I just can't stomach them. The boy can't act... oh yeah, and midgets should NOT be sex symbols...

My point is, I may be missing some damn good movies! Maybe there is some benefit to his films... ok, I doubt it, but MAYBE! So, I think what I'm going to do is go down to the local Borders and get me a copy of "The Chocolate War" and I'm going to see for myself what all the damn Hoopla is about. Now, according to the article the themes touched on in this book are "swearing, masturbation, and violence"...

Maybe these parents forget what it's like to be in 7th grade... Hell, I can tell you I did a LOT of swearing as I ran from school all the way home to avoid getting my ass kicked by the Gangster Disciples. That was not a fun time... And for that matter, how many 7th graders aren't already finding out about masturbation on their own?

Sounds to me like this book is PERFECT for 7th grade kids to be reading... BUT, I will reserve judgment until AFTER I read the book. I'll let you know how that goes...

On another note, I am making myself a challenge for the rest of this year. There is a cute little endangered species (well, I think they are endangered... maybe just NEARLY endangered... I'll check on that..) called the "Sherman Fox Squirrel". I've seen a few of these on golf courses in the Tampa area and have decided that it's going to be my new ambition to get some photos of these guys.

Apparently, they are pretty rare, which is why I am surprised to have seen about 6 of them so far in the past year or so. Hell, I've lived in Tampa 4 years now and I've only seen TWO alligators!!! And it sounds like those guys are everywhere!!! So, I am going to start carrying my digital camera with me everywhere I go... not just for the wildlife photo ops, but you just never know what you will see as you are driving along.

With a little luck and good timing, I should be able to come up with a cool photo per week that is worthy of some digital words. :-)

Wish me luck!
Peace out...

Heitz

25 Years Young & OJ is a Dumbass

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday dear :-)!!!

Happy Birthday to you!!!!

http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/09/18/emoticon.anniversary.ap/index.html

WOO HOO!!! I'm getting the keg tapped! Getting the BBQ fired up... who cares that it is only 8:26am??? It's :-)'s Birthday for chrissake!!!

Seriously, where would we all be without :-)??? 25 years ago today, :-) entered our lives and has brought SUCH joy and happiness to us all!!! I personally have sent :-) on thousands of errands to spread joy around the world. I just hope everyone alwyas got my drift, ya know?

So, I'm thinking, for a celebration today, I'll head to an internet cafe (i.e. Starbucks... who am I kidding???) and send an email to EVERYONE I KNOW (shit, that is a lot of emails...) telling them to sing Happy Birthday to :-)!!!

Now, don't go falling for any fakes out there... we are celebrating :-) today... NOT ;-), :-(, :->, or any of their fukkin friends...

No sir... today is all about :-) and what he/she means to us. I personally want to thank :-) for all the good stuff that has happened to me over the past 25 years. I feel that without :-), I would not have been able to share all that joy!

Hey wait a sec... shit... other than like losing my virginity (WOO HOO!) and going to a few Bears games, what exactly do I have to be so damn excited about? I've been laid off, down sized, under sized, super sized, been through industry collapses, Twin Tower collapses, and now I'm afraid to go to the damn beach without SPF 750!!!

Ya know what... to hell with it all... if you see :-), tell him to go f*&k himself alright... what the hell is he so damn happy about?

c*cksucker...

moving on...

What's with OJ Simpson? Does this guy just NOT get it? I mean, what was it, a decade ago or so, that we had race riots around the country after he was acquitted on a murder that pretty much EVERYONE (including most of my black friends) felt he was guilty as hell for?

I guess all the shit swirling around him again with the potential release of his book (which all the proceeds will go to his ex-wife's family), and just being broke as hell since any dime he makes cleaning windshields is seized by the courts, has driven the man insane!

Now, his story is that there were no guns involved... of course, any time the police (or the PO-PO, as we call them on the South Side) say there was a gun involved, yer damn skimpy they will be able to produce a gun. They got THOUSANDS of guns laying around, bro! He also says the items he went to the hotel to retrieve were stolen from him and the police did nothing.

Now, any time I need to retrieve something (of course, the most retrieving my white ass does these days is retrieving the mail) and I am worried about protection, what do I do? Naturally I call up a mixed race group of thugs... allegedly 6 guys were with Simpson, and it was pointed out that they were both white and black. I like how they are at least showing that Simpson, while being a complete moron, is at least an equal opportunity moron.

So, naturally OJ Simpson is being charged with all sorts of felonies which could land him a life sentence... oh yeah, in case you missed that part, here it is again...

OJ Simpson could spend life in prison on these charges!!!

So, to be clear, here it is in a nutshell... OJ gets off on allegedly murdering his ex and her boyfriend a decade or so ago... he is now being charged with numerous felonies including kidnapping with a deadly weapon, and if convicted could face life in prison.

This is like winning the lotto after filing bankruptcy for the Police ain't it? They couldn't put him away on those murders but look at what he does next! Pretty soon, we'll find out from some forensic psychologist that OJ is actually a career criminal and he'll be charged with Aggravated Assault for all the times he ran someone over on a football field.

Take a deep breath my friends... there is Justice in the air!!!

Peace out...

Heitz